Am I over reacting / Over Jealous?

[AngelinaS]

I work for a guy and earlier he was looking for girls to get married. He used to tell me he would marry the girl of his parent's choice. Later on when I wanted to move out to another company, he told me he loves me.

We used to hang out, he used to send me messages that i look beautiful etc etc and I really loved him and even now, I love him to death. He said he will marry me, when things are right and all things settle down for him. It was like an year ago. I am working with him since 4 years.

From the past six months, following are the things that are bothering me. He is under pressures but he is fine with others.

1. Never calls me

2. Even if he calls he just says that i am not talking with interest /boring/ or that someone is there and hangs up.

3. Does not send me any SMS

4. Tells me that I am becoming boring and I Should socialize.

5. Does not take me out. Earlier we used to go for shopping, movies, restaurants. Do not do any of that now. In every possible way he avoids being seen with me outside.

6. When he bought a new car, our mutual friend gets the first ride and not me.

7. If I do not go to work/ he does not go to work, then there is absolutely no communication.

8. Does not talk about future with me.

9. Says he needs to hire beautiful girls and office is boring without them and office does not have one proper face.

10. He goes out to movie with a friend of mine and asks her not to tell me. (She is just a friend of his. But still...)

11. He used to take me home. Not anymore.

12. He used to say I look good. Not anymore.

13. It's true he has many pressures but he is normal with everyone else. Can't he just sit and talk to me atleast once a week for 10 minutes?

14. Why doesn't he tell me that he loves me once in a month atleast if he really loves me?

15. He shared the news of new venture with others than me first.

16. When a long time deal happened, he told me along with everyone else.

17. We used to work on weekends when there is work. He is avoiding working with me in every way possible but he is working with another girl.

18. I feel like an ugly looking and a person with average intelligence when I am with him.

19. I don't think this relation is going anywhere due to many things (Personal status, family wise, financial wise, community wise)

20. None of his friends/ family/ colleagues have any idea that we are seeing each other. He does not tell them.

21. When I try to bring any of the above issues to him, it becomes a big fight and finally I end up feeling sorry. None of the things above ever get addressed.

22. I am just feeling frustrated thinking that things will not change and he is not interested and he will find some other girl and than walk over me. My problem is I will not be able to take it. I feel like dying.

23. I have started feeling that he is seeing someone else.

24. If I look upset, he does come and ask what happened and tries to resolve the issue with me by telling me that he is in problems etc but later on, it ends up as a fight as mentioned earlier.

Please help me understand where this relation is going. I really love him alot and don't want to take any wrong steps and lose him but at the same time I don't want him to walk over me later on. It will shatter me completely.

Am I overthinking or overreacting?

What should I do.

Please help...

[LucreziaBorgia]

Given what you wrote, I'm not entirely sure why you would want to be with someone who treats you this way. Are you expecting that he will change or start treating you better? In a case like this, the way he is currently treating you is the best it will get and will go downhill from there.

[AngelinaS]

Yes, I am hoping he would change and start treating me better (wishful thinking). But I do feel that he will not change and things will be worse. (as you said).