Wife left because She got a better job than me!

[betrayed_07]

Hi,

 

I am from India. Married last year & we were a very happy couple. We dated two years before we got married. Things changed when she got an Aircrew job in a foreign airline nine months ago. I helped her a lot in getting this job from application to visa processing. I also provided her financial support by giving her all my savings.

 

After the recruitment, she had to stay in middle-east for trainings & that time apart had killed our relation. We did have phone conversations but there were hardy any kind quarrel or arguments between us. Then there was a strange change in her behaviors. She started ignoring me and after three months she stopped receiving my phone calls. One evening she told me that she cannot continue with me and she want to lead single life. She wanted me for a divorce that time. Hearing this I became unconscious and had to go to the hospital. I stopped contacting her and waited for her return.

 

She came back after six months and didn't even informed me or my family about her return. She was staying with her parents that time. Even though were not in talking terms, I went to see her. She behaved like an unknown person, her eyes were cold. She said she cant maintain my family any longer & she made the decision of leaving me. I was speechless to see her behavior and just left the place.

 

Since then we don’t have any contacts. She earns a lot more than me. She says now she has never been happier with me. She says I do not earn enough money. She says I didn’t respect her parents. She is bringing down very minor issues of past which are already resolved. And her family is supporting her back for ther money she earn becuase her family is not economically solvent enough.

 

But we were a very happy couple before she had got the job.. I always tried to be a good husband, no women/drink/smoke/beating etc. Not once during our married life did she ever indicate, suggest or even act like she was unhappy or unsatisfied. May parents also had good relation with her, they loved her a lot. They are very shocked.

 

I am in total disaster, I love my wife so much. I cant believe my once loving wife playing with my mind and emotions, betraying my trust, and torign my heart into pieces. Every morning, I wake up, and just sit there, thinking about everything that she has done to my family, my future, and me.

 

Its been three months without any contact.

 

Any suggestions? Is there any chance she will at least be willing to talk. Should I divorce her or give her more time?

[bestadvisor]

There are four classic signs that she's having an affair:

 

1) "After the recruitment, she had to stay in middle-east for trainings & that time apart had killed our relation." (Not exactly a sign, but a chance and opportunity to develop an affair)

 

2) "Then there was a strange change in her behaviors. She started ignoring me and after three months she stopped receiving my phone calls. One evening she told me that she cannot continue with me and she want to lead single life. She wanted me for a divorce that time."

 

3) "Not once during our married life did she ever indicate, suggest or even act like she was unhappy or unsatisfied."

 

4) "I went to see her. She behaved like an unknown person, her eyes were cold."

 

Is there anything you can think of that you can do to find out if she's having an affair? Once you find out about that and find out more information about him, we can go from there.

[sadhubby]

its so sad to see how people can throw away other people like garbage.your story isnt much differnt from mine or others here.hang in there brother and keep reading you will come to see its not your fualt.

[betrayed_07]

its so sad to see how people can throw away other people like garbage.your story isnt much differnt from mine or others here.hang in there brother and keep reading you will come to see its not your fualt.

 

Thanks for listening and sorry for my poor writing skill.

 

The problem is I have lost all sorts of contact with her. I don’t know the address. She has changed her cell phone and none of her relatives or friends seems to have any details about her contact no or address. I heard she has rented an apartment and staying there with her mother and brother. Few days ago I called her brother and asked about her contact number/ address. But he denied to give me the number and told me he doesn’t want to come between our problems. I don’t know why these people are hiding from me. I had a thought of filing a police complaint but restrained myself because I wanted to avoid unnecessary troubles . The law here in India is very much in favor of women and anyone can be harassed if a woman want to misuse the law even with false allegation or claim. Also the divorce law in very complicated and it usually takes 5/6 years to complete all procedure of divorce.

 

I don’t believe she can have an affair, if she wished to she would have plenty of opportunities in her previous job. I had a talk with her colleagues and they didnt see any signs. She is also very religious person. I think maybe the sudden money and influence of her family, mainly her mother, with whom I had arguments several times in the past, changed her from and angel to an evil. It may be because of her lack of maturity (She is 21 right now and we have age gap of 10 years). Otherwise she was a blessing of God to me, she loved so much and cared so much, I always failed in this department to compete her.

 

I miss her every single moment, but in this six months she never asked how I am or how I pass days. The pain is so unbearable. I never imagine that I would ever go through this.

 

I am seeing a therapist for the moment but no improvement. I feel so betrayed and hurt and I keep asking myself over and over what did I do.

 

Her birthday is coming on December 27, I want to wish her and buy some gifts for her. Should I try to talk to her family once again or find her workplace anyhow? What should I do? Please give a suggestion.

Edited December 23, 2007 by betrayed_07