Me and my Angel

[Hanjaesoek]

Hi everyone

 

I've been reading this forum for quite sometime now. I find it really useful.

 

Like many of you guys and gals i am also in a long distance relation. Our relation began on Valentine’s Day this year (so technically our relation's almost a year now. Unfortunately me and my Angel (that's how i call her) had to live in different cities after being together for 6 months; now i am in Delhi and she with her aunt in Chennai. So its like we're some 2000 miles apart now.

 

I think i should tell you guys how we met.

Its quite amazing that though we live in the same locality we never met before an didn't even think neither me or her exists (I’m kidding he he he). So one day my neighbor asks me to visit some of his tuition students. He took me to her house. We were total stranger the first time we met. We did not talk much that day as it was our "first date". I began to ask my friend about her as i was every impressed with her honesty, modesty and most of all her personality. She's the one.

 

After that we began to frequent her place and thus we came to know each other little by little that made my feelings for her gradually grow. But i was reluctant to make any move, you know that typical guy thinking that we'd be rejected. I thought for more than two months until February 14th 2007.

Then around 11a.m. i dialed her number. She was surprised. Simply because she did not give me her number all, so she asked me how i got her number and said this and that just to hide my nervousness.

Finally i ask her "Will you be my Valentine?" That day she did not give any response so i told her that i will give her time and will respect her decision.

 

In the evening i sms her but did not mention any thing about what i asked her. From that day we begin sending SMSs. She told me that she too had feelings for me though she's not sure whether we should start a relation yet. So i told her i'll be waiting for her. We still continue text messaging. In a couple of week or two we started our relation. I am so lucky that such a beautiful and good girl like her accepted me to be part of her life.

 

At first we tried to hide our relation from her parents but somehow after a month or two everybody knows about us. Her parents did not have any opposition to our relationship.

 

We hang out a lot. Once we even went on a trip together to release her music album. The sweetest thing about our relationship is that we care, respect and understand each other. But most of all we completely love one another without any reservation.

 

Then on the month of June i begin to hear that her aunt from Chennai is coming to take her. I was heavy on my heart. But there's nothing we could do. So i also decided to come to Delhi.

 

And that's the beginning of the worst.

Now it’s almost 4-5 months that we are in distance relationship. During the first month of our separation i used to call her aunt's landline telephone. Her aunt usually takes the calls and passes it to her. But all of in the month of August her aunt came in our way. As i told you her parents did not have any objection to our relation but however because her aunt complained to her dad so from then on we could not communicate well for some while.

 

Good news came. She has her own mobile number in November and so we resume a more intimate communication till 17th Dec 2007. Since 17th Dec. I haven’t heard anything from her. I sent msg, miss-called, e-mailed. No response.

 

 

So friends i am naive about LDR and after reading some comments on LDR i feel very insecure. I am afraid i might lose her. I love her and want to marry her. We said that within 5 years we would marry. But now because of the situation and the distance between us we both are afraid. What do you guys think we should do? Should we elope? I am thinking about that saying to myself better take risk than lose forever. And it seems she's also ready to come with me. But problem is i do not have a secure job yet.

Will it be a wrong step to elope yet? Or should we wait and let things settle down? Will it be too late?

[j_hunt_12]

haha... same situation but four months together and the ldr just started. first of all how old are you? I'm 20 my gf 19 we are both in school and am just as lost as you. On my side: she said she'll move anywhere i want. Downside: I'm from the U.S. and visas are horrible. If there was a "come for the year and see if you and your sweetheart are compatible before you decide to get married visa" it would be a lot easier for me.. But unfortunately there is just a "get married visa"... lol. I'm so confused about what to do...

 

Wait a little longer before you make any big decisions that's what I'm doing. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I think you should visit her as much as you can the next few years and after a while get engaged IF you know she's the one... Really hard but it is YOUR choice.. That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.. But I set my time to three years, which means I have to get engaged in about a year in a half because the visa takes 1-2 to process... ahh I'm so nervous.. 22 is so young to get engaged, but like you said, I dont want to give her up. so IF were still together 1.5 years from now, I'll probably go for it... five is a lot I think... but I'm 20 already and will probably be getting a job in 1.5 years..

 

And don't pay attention to negative posts... those are for people without morals who don't believe in REAL love and can't go for a few days without sex and a date.. (ehh.. well that is a difficult part..lol) .. but truthfully most of those people have failed a LDR before... The main thing is that in an LDR you dont get sex and companionship for a long time... (if your partner is not ok with that) Therefore people feel like huge idiots after their LDR doesn't work... BIG waist of time really.... For me that is not so much of a problem... I'm like conservative religious and like one with nature and ****.... kind of like a Buddhist monk..lol. Plus I move a lot so for me true love and marriage infers an LDR...

 

Really if you love her don't listen to other people... dont listen to me! but I will give you encouragement.. and your definitely not the only one doing something stupid..

 

One true story i heard:

some girl meets a guy in the summer.. falls in love.. visits him once a year for five years... now they're getting married I think.. and he's moving to her..

 

good luck... I write a lot because I'm also in a rough situation and think about it all the time... peace

 

P.S. I didn't answer your question.. I'd say if you both can't wait five years and you are scared she'll leave you in five years she is not worth the trouble... But five years is a LONG time and you can't blame her at all. That's a really difficult decision Give it some time then later have a VERY serious talk... things might change in a year... And yes I would get a job first... Sucks, but it's pretty needed.

Edited December 24, 2007 by j_hunt_12