Why Me? Posted June 9, 2003 Share Posted June 9, 2003 I've been interested in this guy for a while now but we are just friends. I sometimes have gotten the impression that he likes me but it's been hard to tell since he's sometimes also given me the impression that he doesn't like me ?? Anyways, I'm sure he knows I'm into him and would like to take things further. Well, surprisingly, he asked me to get together last friday night. We went out for drinks and had, no word of a lie, an amazing time. We got along great and had fun together. I drank a little too much (but I wasn't acting stupid), he thought it was funny, but didn't try anything and took care of me all night. I swear I thought this guy was really into me that night. He kept staring at me, asking me questions, paid for most of the stuff we did, kept asking me if I wanted to do this or that, being very talkative, laughing at my jokes and in general didn't seem like he wanted the evening to end--after we left the lounge he asked me if I was hungry or wanted anything to eat. On the way to the car, I mentioned I was cold and he put his hand on my arm briefly which was very sweet. I'm 25, I was in a relationship for a long time so I'm out of the loop when it comes to certain things BUT I could have swore I felt something there from him. Hopefully it wasn't just impaired judgment from my drinks. Anyways, we said goodbye and I didn't know how to leave things, I just made a general comment about hoping we could get together again but knowing his busy schedule I would not expect much. He replied by saying he is never THAT busy. I don't know, I took that in a positive way but again, who knows. The reason I'm even posting is that over the weekend I saw him on messenger service a couple times. Both times I saw him I had to message him (??) as he did not message me right off the bat. In addition, our conversations were quite short and HE LET ME GO. In particular, our conversation last night was quite weird. He wasn't talkative at all, totally different from the way he was on friday night. When I asked him about it, he just said he was reading some discussion board. He barely even asked about how the rest of my weekend went when on friday night he kept asking me over and over again about my plans for saturday night. He did happen to mention on saturday night him and his buddies went out for a friends stag which included a visit to a strip club (just thought I'd mention that). So regardless, I interpreted his behaviour as him not wanting to talk to me so I just said goodnight to him and logged off. I hope I've given enough information here to get some quality feedback. I hate posting about guys and why they do what they do but I'm really questioning this one. I truly believed there was a connection on friday night but now that the weekend is over, I've changed my mind. I don't think he likes me and has realized that over the weekend. Do you guys agree with my instincts? If I could get a couple of "male perspectives" I would appreciate it. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted June 9, 2003 Share Posted June 9, 2003 Not all males are connected in the way of thinking, actually, most are not. It could be that it was just a busy weekend. I do not agree with the strip club visit, but I guess that's how some guys are. Additionally, I don't know why he would brag about that to you. I believe if you are hoping to see where this "relationship" is going, that you need to give it more time. On the messenger side of things, he may have just been reading some discussion board like he said. If you want to pursue him, then you need to give this more time. If he is often brief with you, and you take this as cold, then you need to confront him about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 9, 2003 Share Posted June 9, 2003 It sounds to me like he likes you and he enjoyed his time with you. Don't be so sensitive to people's repsonses when you message them. When you message somebody, you are invading their privacy and what they are doing on the computer at the time. That they take time to even say hello is a bonus. I'm sure if he wasn't busy he would have talked to you a bit longer. Try to be understanding and considerate of people's time and never think they should drop everything they're doing if you message them. I'm sure you will hear from him soon. But if you don't, there are lots and lots of other great guys out there, a few of whom would drop everything in the world to talk to you via their computer. Link to post Share on other sites
Evil Teddi Posted June 9, 2003 Share Posted June 9, 2003 It sounds to me as if this guy is interested, only a little shy. I'm no good with this sorta stuff, but I'm making this reply because the way he acts when you went out, fits my style. I tend to move back and forth when trying to find out if a girl likes me or not. And by that I mean that I can make a move, and then retreat or express lack of interest for a while, simply to check for the response (Will she contact me? Has she even noticed me? Will she notice my absence?) Hey, I never said it was a tactic, I think I'm gonna call it a nasty habit... It never worked for me. Anyway. When I go out and get comfortable with the girl, I get a lot more courage (especially if a little alcohol is involved) and do things exactly as you described. The next week I might be doing my freaky lack-of-interest "trick" (Purely out of lack of confidence on my side; Does she still like me?), while in reality I will be at home staring in the ceiling thinking about our night out with a big grin on my face. It's important not to take my advice (If ya can call it that) too seriously though, but those are my thoughts. The best word I can give is what Tony said, there will always be other great people out there. Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted June 9, 2003 Share Posted June 9, 2003 I would say that the next time you get online you should wait for him to message you. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 Sometimes when people are online they truly are doing other things, and they may not want to talk at that time. Maybe some rather talk face to face than to carry on deep conversations online. Whatever the situation, just give it some time and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Why me? Posted June 11, 2003 Share Posted June 11, 2003 Ok he called last night (monday night)...he waited 3 days. We talked for a couple hours then he said he had to go to sleep. I saw him online tonight again but once again I had to message him and he let me go early AGAIN. I only question this cuz often he stays online with me for 2 or 3 hours. On the one hand the fact that he called after our "date"is encouraging but on the other hand the fact that he's letting me go is not a good sign. Usually when a guy is smitten with a female won't he WANT to talk to her for longer? At least I'm feeling that way right now. Do you guys think I should just refrain from talking to him too much on the computer...does anybody think I might scare him off? I don't know how to act, I want to play it cool but I don't know how? I know some of you out there are pros at playing it cool. Can anyone give me some suggestions or even some advice/signs on what to watch out for. Should I even need to play it cool? Link to post Share on other sites
rain Posted June 11, 2003 Share Posted June 11, 2003 Do not message him whenever you see him online. It looks like you are chasing him. Men like to do the chasing. Do let it be so easy for him. Let him message you, call you, ask you out. Do not jump to the chance everytime he calls you or messages you. Talk to him for a few minutes, then say you enjoyed talking to him, but are really busy and will have to get in touch with him later. Do not let him think that you are at his beck and call. IF he knows you are sitting around waiting for him, then he will let you sit and wait. Make him think you are busy and he is lucky to get some of your time and attention. Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted June 11, 2003 Share Posted June 11, 2003 LEAVE HIM ALONE... If he wants to call you fine, but in the meantime... Go back out there girl. Keep trying. You are putting too much energy into this already. Put THAT ENERGY into getting out and meeting lots of people! The more the merrier, the merrier the better chances of finding someone. And personally, I wouldn't overdrink on the first date. You didn't do anything wrong, but be careful. The next guy might not be so nice. Link to post Share on other sites
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