mistieyed Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 I keep reading posts from men that advise their fellow men to withdraw their attention from the woman they are pursuing to grab her full attention (as a romantic interest). Do you really believe this works and why? my question is more geared toward friends that are very close with romantic potential. thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 I keep reading posts from men that advise their fellow men to withdraw their attention from the woman they are pursuing to grab her full attention (as a romantic interest). Do you really believe this works and why? my question is more geared toward friends that are very close with romantic potential. thanks. You don't withdraw your attention from them. Just don't smother the woman, otherwise she may grow tired of you and become annoyed. The same goes the other way around as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 It will grab her attention for about 30 seconds. Then, if she's got any level of self-esteem, it will piss her off royally. Don't play this game if you're interested in anything more than a one-nighter. Link to post Share on other sites
niceguy27 Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 I agree with TBF. Dont come on too strong. Act naturally and if there is potential there, I think that things will naturally progress into something more. Case in point: My post "Is my friend a rebound?" has a situation where I have been spending A LOT of time with a friend of mine. I told her how I felt and she just told me that we didnt have to talk about things. To just let whatever happen happen. So I act like I always have with her but I do flirt a lot more than before and so far she seems to be receptive to it. I think the biggest problem is to make sure NOT to come on too strong. You cant force something like this especially with a close friend. Link to post Share on other sites
HouseOfCards Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 Yeah, I never understood this concept much either. The basis of your connection to the person is that you've been close friends, but the idea is that for it to become more romantic you need to...stop being her friend? I dunno. Internet wisdom would tell you that a successful way to turn a friend into a girlfriend is to make her jealous by transferring your energy/attention to another girl. So on that front, I guess it makes sense. But I don't see why someone should stop acting like that same good friend just because he's trying to get with her romantically. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mistieyed Posted December 24, 2007 Author Share Posted December 24, 2007 Yeah, I never understood this concept much either. The basis of your connection to the person is that you've been close friends, but the idea is that for it to become more romantic you need to...stop being her friend? I dunno. Internet wisdom would tell you that a successful way to turn a friend into a girlfriend is to make her jealous by transferring your energy/attention to another girl. So on that front, I guess it makes sense. But I don't see why someone should stop acting like that same good friend just because he's trying to get with her romantically. my thoughts exactly the great part about our friendship is that we are so great together - the withdrawing part is frustrating. Link to post Share on other sites
HouseOfCards Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 Right...and chances are, the reason the guy wants to be more to this girl-friend is because he realizes how compatible they already are, so taking that compatibility away just to try to get something else...I dunno, maybe I'm missing something. So, is this a situation that's going on in your life right now? You mentioned "we"... Link to post Share on other sites
Author mistieyed Posted December 24, 2007 Author Share Posted December 24, 2007 Right...and chances are, the reason the guy wants to be more to this girl-friend is because he realizes how compatible they already are, so taking that compatibility away just to try to get something else...I dunno, maybe I'm missing something. So, is this a situation that's going on in your life right now? You mentioned "we"... yes, it is currently happening. Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 Why withdraw if you like her? Don't complicate an already easy and relaxed situation. These relationships are too hard to find. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 Withdrawing is a fine way to get her attention. It will work on most people, man or woman. Most people wish they had the self esteem to not be triggered by it. It would work on me, but I am more and more irritated by stupid games and more and more immune to them. Not completely though. The problem is if it's just a game, then you start to base the relationship on fakeness and games instead of sincere actions. Games are the first resort of someone who either is very insecure or just doesn't want a relationship. If it's not a game, and you're truly distracted but you really like her, then you need to explain what's up and make arrangements to make it up to her as soon as you can. That's less because you want to appease her than it is because you want to ravish her. Link to post Share on other sites
Florida Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 (edited) Mistieyed-are you a man or a woman? The phrasing of the question can go either way: So you are asking why, as a female- a guy would withdraw from you, right? Because in your post it sounded like you were a guy asking how to withdraw from the girl to get her attention-but that is not the case here-right? It'll change the answers you get based on that info clear up. Edited December 24, 2007 by Florida Link to post Share on other sites
Author mistieyed Posted December 24, 2007 Author Share Posted December 24, 2007 Mistieyed-are you a man or a woman? The phrasing of the question can go either way: So you are asking why, as a female- a guy would withdraw from you, right? Because in your post it sounded like you were a guy asking how to withdraw from the girl to get her attention-but that is not the case here-right? It'll change the answers you get based on that info clear up. i am female Link to post Share on other sites
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