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clean anniversaries


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this question is for folks who are clean/sober

 

would it be a bad idea to break NC and wish an exboyfriend a happy clean-anniversary? we haven't talked in 4months.

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What does the grape vine say? Is there any other reasons or motives to the contact?

 

In my opinion if you two were friends BEFORE the relationship, then by all means send a message through the grape vine or break contact. I still get messages through the grape vine; so and so say hi.

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Is there any other reasons or motives to the contact?

no and yes. i would not use the anniversary for any other means, but to congratulate him. i'm so proud of him for doing so well and being so strong.

on the secondary aspect... i still have very strong feelings for him.

 

we were not friends prior to the relationship. and i have no way of contacting any of his friends though the vine. it would be a direct contact via phone or email.

 

does this change your opinion, jer?

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no and yes. i would not use the anniversary for any other means, but to congratulate him. i'm so proud of him for doing so well and being so strong.

on the secondary aspect... i still have very strong feelings for him.

 

we were not friends prior to the relationship. and i have no way of contacting any of his friends though the vine. it would be a direct contact via phone or email.

 

does this change your opinion, jer?

 

Ask yourself this. Do you him back in your life by breaking NC? Did he break your heart by breaking up with you or the other way around?

 

It seems that your mind is somewhat leaning toward contacting him and clean anniversary is a method to validate your reasons for contact.

 

Was the break due to the alcohol or it was amicable?

 

IMO, if it was alcohol, the breakup amicable, and you did the break up; maybe you can drop a note and that is about it.

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i do want to contact him... but that is separate from my desire to wish him a happy anniv. i feel that transcends the end of our relationship.

 

i really have no plans to say anything about anything except in regard to his clean time. 6 years!!! :)

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