I seriously hate spending Christmas with my tiny family.

[Star Gazer]

I am at work right now, will have to work tomorrow as well. My mother is understanding, however, my grandmother is all melodramatic as though the world is coming to and end just because I'm not able to spend 24 hours a day with them today and tomorrow.

 

To make matters worse, I'm not happy at work right now, and my grammy's reaction to things like this makes matters worse and makes me not even want to go over there for the holiday. She's so ridiculous, "Ooooohhhh myyy GGGGAAAWWWWDDDD! That's TERRIBLE!!! I stay up worried at night, worrying about you, OOOOH MMMYYY GAAAAAWWWDDDD!!! You work so hard, this is so unnnnfffaaaaiiirrrrr!!!!" with this contorted, painful, grief-stricken face....ugh.

 

I seriously cannot stand it. I'm a b*tch. But honestly, every holiday is always just a big nightmare. A fight. It's a hassle, not a fun experience.

 

And this kinda thing makes me so jealous of my BF's Christmas - up in the mountains, snow falling, family he loves, etc. They're probably toasting marshmellows and singing carols while rubbing each others' feet in a circle or something.

Edited December 24, 2007 by Star Gazer

[underpants]

If it would make you feel better you can join in my family fun.

 

We put the FUN in dysfunctional, especially during the holiday season.

 

[Sweetcheripie]

Awww I'm sorry. I always wanted a big family celebration too! I'm sure it means the world to your mom and grandma anytime that you can spend with them.

 

Being up in the snow sounds fun - but maybe they are cold and cranky and your boyfriend is so wishing he was with just you and some mistletoe right now!

 

Maybe ask your grandma and mom to share some stories of their past with you so the focus is off you. Then when you have little ones you can tell them about the stories your grandma and mom told you on Christmas. Or just heavily spike the eggnog!

[Ariadne]

Oh no,

 

Never!

 

And this kinda thing makes me so jealous of my BF's Christmas - up in the mountains, snow falling, family he loves, etc. They're probably toasting marshmellows and singing carols while rubbing each others' feet in a circle or something.

 

According to the LS loving people here...

 

You should be "happy" for him that he is buried in snow and toasting marshmellows while you are in the office.

 

You should never, ever, wish that it stops snowing and that the snow melts or anything like that..

 

You have to wish for "more snow" "more snow" all the way to the roof so that they are really snow bound and in total silence in a night of peace, and in occasion listening to Christmas carols, the laughter of friends and loved ones, smelling gingerbread baking in the oven and all the other fixings, while the fireplace is burning bright.

 

You have to be the higher man, in the office, working hard all alone in your daily desk wishing..

 

Be happy, dear! Be happy! I wish you love and lots of snow... love S_G <3

 

Ariadne

[Star Gazer]

Awww I'm sorry. I always wanted a big family celebration too! I'm sure it means the world to your mom and grandma anytime that you can spend with them.

 

Perhaps. But it's annoying. They live like...right there. So it's not like it's a big to-do to go over, ya know what I mean? And every year we get a little tighter and tighter when it comes to money. It's one thing to say ONCE, "Hey, don't spend a lot of money on me, okay?" and quite another to spend practically the entire evening talking about how unfortunate it is that we cannot spend on each other what we used to and how "lucky" we are to be able to spend (yet one extra) godforesaken day with one another.

 

OMG, I'm such a grouch.

 

Being up in the snow sounds fun - but maybe they are cold and cranky and your boyfriend is so wishing he was with just you and some mistletoe right now!

 

BF is probably cranky because his skiis were stolen. But other than that, he's in heaven up there right now.

 

Maybe ask your grandma and mom to share some stories of their past with you so the focus is off you. Then when you have little ones you can tell them about the stories your grandma and mom told you on Christmas. Or just heavily spike the eggnog!

 

The stories would be like this:

 

Grammy: "When I was your age, your mom was already 5 and we had no money. We decorated the tree in the yard with popcorn garland, and kept each other warm by all piling into the same bed!"

 

Mom: "Yeah, grandpa would come home drunk. He was always the warmest one."

 

Fun stories, for sure.

 

According to the LS loving people here...

 

You should be "happy" for him that he is buried in snow and toasting marshmellows while you are in the office.

 

I actually am happy for him. I want him to be there. I just wish I were headed up to where he is rather than to my own place.

 

You have to wish for "more snow" "more snow" all the way to the roof so that they are really snow bound and in total silence in a night of peace, and in occasion listening to Christmas carols, the laughter of friends and loved ones, smelling gingerbread baking in the oven and all the other fixings, while the fireplace is burning bright.

 

What's so funny is that's probably what they're doing! They went on a little snow-shoe'ing outing today, and then this is what's supposed to follow...I'm sure of it!

 

 

And then there are all these people on here b*tching about their presents before they even know what the are. WTF is wrong with people?

 

Bah, humbug.

[underpants]

I read about your boyfriend's skiis. That sucks. Although, it is a sign that he should not move back home.

 

Your grand's stories are much better then the discussion of bowel movements I had yesterday with someone in my family.

 

Right after that call I get a call telling me the run down of the menu.

 

[Trialbyfire]

Okay, you little Grinch.

 

Rubbing each other's feet in a big circle...I wouldn't touch my brothers' feet if you promised me the moon, sun and all the stars.

 

I know you can't pick your family but they do love you, SG.

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

I actually am happy for him. I want him to be there. I just wish I were headed up to where he is rather than to my own place.

 

Well, if I were stuck in the stpid office on xmas day, and my bf were up in the mountains in the snow with all his family.

 

I'd wish that it'd stop snowing and that the whole place becomes a big puddle of mud, that the water breaks and they don't get any more water to shower or anything, that the food burns, that they find some rat or some horrible snake and the aunts are all scared etc etc

 

I mean, those are things that happen sometimes, but if my bf were to call me to the office, all upset, you won't believe what happened! the water went off! or, we made this delicious dinner and it burned! so we can only eat apples!

 

I'd be lololo yes!

 

Ariadne

[Star Gazer]

Okay, you little Grinch.

 

Rubbing each other's feet in a big circle...I wouldn't touch my brothers' feet if you promised me the moon, sun and all the stars.

 

I know you can't pick your family but they do love you, SG.

 

I'm only a Grinch when it comes to myself.

 

I know they love me. I just wish I WANTED to go over, as opposed to feeling OBLIGATED to go.

[johan]

I'm only a Grinch when it comes to myself.

 

I know they love me. I just wish I WANTED to go over, as opposed to feeling OBLIGATED to go.

 

This is how I felt before my family's party. I even posted about it. But I realized I couldn't not go and feel any good about myself. And it ended up being a really nice time. Much better than all my negative attitude prepared me for.

 

When (if) you walk in, and your grandmother welcomes you with a huge smile and a hug, you'll know that you did the right thing.

[Star Gazer]

This is how I felt before my family's party. I even posted about it. But I realized I couldn't not go and feel any good about myself. And it ended up being a really nice time. Much better than all my negative attitude prepared me for.

 

When (if) you walk in, and your grandmother welcomes you with a huge smile and a hug, you'll know that you did the right thing.

 

I hope you're right, Johan. I feel this way every single year, and it never changes. I honestly usually drive away in tears or fuming angry.

[johan]

It's easier for me to be right about what you should do than it is about my own problems. So you're getting the best I have, for what it's worth.

[Sweetcheripie]

Oh yikes! That does sound awful!

 

At least it will be over soon!

[JHS]

I hope you're right, Johan. I feel this way every single year, and it never changes. I honestly usually drive away in tears or fuming angry.

Star Gazer - what causes you to get to anger and tears? Is it that things aren't as they should be? Maybe you could just say to your grandma that it's not that bad. She is just trying to give you some empathy but maybe does it in a funny way.

 

I can really relate to your post - yesterday I had Christmas with my dysfunctional family (my feelings are similar, although not as extreme, as yours) and then I went to a friends. We ate, everyone was in great spirits, and we sang Christmas carols around the piano. Sheesh.