johnny_nas Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Hello all and happy holidays. With Xmas tomorrow I am having a sudden urge to send a merry xmas text to my ex. We were together for 2 years and broke up last feb. Its been about 10 months and I cant stop my thoughts of her. It has been better then when the break up happened but this xmas holiday is really bad. After the break up I would reach out to her a lot just to talk and that normal desperate stuff. I eventually stopped and cut off all contact to her around mid april, and I have not contacted her since. I just really care about her and believe she is a wonderful person. I just want to be able to know she is still alive and everything is ok. I feel if I dont send some type of communication during xmas then when would i ever do it? Am I being crazy? Today feels almost as bad as the first few weeks. I know for sure that I dont want to go the rest of my life without speaking with her. Link to post Share on other sites
kittensmittens Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Do you feel that sending the text would do any amount of harm? Do you feel it would make you feel better or worse? And can you do it and feel ok if she doesn't send one back? If it won't do any harm, if it will make you feel better, and if you won't set yourself up for more sadness if she doesn't reply back to you, then I personally don't see why not. Sometimes (I said sometimes) nc isn't all it's cracked up to be, other times it's absolutely necessary...even at the most difficult times. You'll have to decide what would be best for you... Link to post Share on other sites
loveinlife Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 don't worry about them, they don't even care to send us anything. just don't deserve it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnny_nas Posted December 25, 2007 Author Share Posted December 25, 2007 I just dont understand how people can be best friends and spend most of their time together, and then just move on like that person never existed. I just think I could never do that to anyone, nor want to do that to anyone. I am 27 and 2 years is a piece of my life that I lived with someone being a major part of it. Just makes me crazy too think that you will never talk to a person again after you were so close to them for a good period of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 I think what you want is for her to be missing you at Xmas... and only contacting her might help you find that out. Am I close? Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnny_nas Posted December 25, 2007 Author Share Posted December 25, 2007 I think what you want is for her to be missing you at Xmas... and only contacting her might help you find that out. Am I close? Missing me I guess, but her just wondering if I am still alive would even be good. Im not sure what im goin do. Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Those are feelings surfacing that you need to rid yourself of. Caring about a person is fine. But the relationship is over, holidays are a tempting time for these thoughts, and you need to be strong enough to resist. Don't concern yourself with "What is she thinking? Does she wonder about me?" It will drive you crazy, and do you NO good. Trust me on this one. Happy Holidays! Link to post Share on other sites
brothermartin Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Check out my post on Tony's POST ABOUT ANYTHING thread. Same thing, not what I thought would happen. Link to post Share on other sites
infiniteQuest Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 I just dont understand how people can be best friends and spend most of their time together, and then just move on like that person never existed. I just think I could never do that to anyone, nor want to do that to anyone. I am 27 and 2 years is a piece of my life that I lived with someone being a major part of it. Just makes me crazy too think that you will never talk to a person again after you were so close to them for a good period of time. I think that you're looking for some kind of confirmation from her that indeed she didn't just move on like you never existed. You hope that by sending that text she will send back some kind of confirmation that she still cares about you. Well, chances are that she will not reply, so save yourself from the pain of waiting for a text back. On the bright side though, when one ceases contact with somebody they spent 2 years of their life with, it does not mean that they've stopped caring about you. Chances are she still thinks you're a wonderful person, just that things probably can't go back to the way they were after 10 months of no contact. For most of us, our exes will always hold a special place in our hearts. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 And can you do it and feel ok if she doesn't send one back? Read that ten times and answer it honestly. Also consider how you might feel if she sends back something non-committal or even slightly standoffish. If your intention, in any way, is to get something from her, even if it's just acknowledgement, an admission that she's thinking of you occasionally, etc... then I think you are putting yourself at risk. If it's just another Christmas card on your list, where you send it off and won't really hang on what happens in return, then it's probably OK, but then would that really serve your purpose? Link to post Share on other sites
Ashbash11 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 I can sympathize... today is not only Christmas, but it's also my ex's birthday.. Talk about being tempted to send a text message! I'd have to agree with the last post, would you be okay with sending her a message and not receiving anything in return? If you answered yes, then go for it! If not, then forget it... distract yourself with something else... Link to post Share on other sites
s_n_d Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 Yeah. I had that urge too. So i called him for a bit. It was so nice hearing his voice after two months and he told me all about what he got from his family for christmas. But after we finished talking on the phone we got into an argument via text messages. That ruined christmas for the both of us. Link to post Share on other sites
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