2 questions/ ...

[Mylife]

So I have 2 concerns, first one has been bothering me only recently and the other for a while.

 

1) When me and him were together, a friend of his had come to visit him for a few days. Since he himself doesn't know alot about the town, I took him and his friend sightseeing all over. Spent many days out with the 2 and had a great time. His friend was really happy that I was his friend's girl and kept telling him how lucky he was and I heard him say to him that "you have found a diamond bro, I have never seen someone who cares so much."

 

Well anyways, the point, me and his friend became cool friends. After he left we talked a bit on facebook, but not a lot. But the time spent was great and we got to know eachother well.

 

Well, he has come to visit him again for the holidays. I found out because my ex has it as his facebook status that ------ is visiting.

 

Now do you think I should contact my ex after being 98% NC for a bit more than 2 months? Contact so I can atleast say hi whats up to his friend? Maybe meet up with his friend, but the ex will obv have to be there.

 

I feel like because the time spent with both together was soo nice, something I will never forget. So do you think I should make an effort to in some way say hi to his friend?

 

Ok second question...

 

2) The first day that me and my ex started going together, he gave me a keychain. He had this for 9 years, and it had a slogan on it saying, you'll never walk alone. He said he wanted me to know that and he wanted me to have it. Well I still do and we have been apart now for more than 2 months. Do you think I should give it back to him? The options...

 

a) Mail it to him with a letter explaining that I am not giving it back to hurt him, I just know how important it was to him so I think he should be the one to keep it.

b) Sometime if I happen to meet him in person through common friends, hand it to him and explaing the above.

c) Just mail/hand to him with no explaination.

d) Ask a friend to give to him from me with an explaination

e) Just forget about it and keep it in a safe place at my house.

 

Just let me know what you guys think, hope it wasn't too long a post. Thanks to all.

[sedgwick]

Don't contact him. Throw away the keychain. He is no longer in your life.

[polywog]

Don't contact the friend. I think that if you look into your heart, you'll find that the desire to contact this guy is really a way of holding onto the ex. I'm just guessing, and basing this on my own similar experiences.

 

If the guy wants to contact you, he will. And there's no reason that you couldn't spend time with or talk to him. But it would be between you and him, without the equation of your ex in the picture.

 

Re: the keychain, it was a gift to you and that's that. It's yours now. If it's a painful reminder and bothers you to see it, then give it away, or put it away until you are over him. If the symbolism of throwing it away helps you to move on, then do that. Mulling over what to so with it and the circumstances that brought it to you is a way of holding on to the past, and that's not useful for you right now.

 

You need to take good care of yourself and pave your way to healing from all this, and give yourself the gift of moving through this and coming out the other side (which will make you a stronger person, guaranteed).

 

Think of this when these sorts of questions come up and seem like dilemmas. If you think of moving forward as the focus, the answers to these questions will come on your own.

 

Merry Christmas, by the way!

[Always Wrong]

Mail it back to him. No letter. No explanation. No return address.

[Mylife]

Ok update, the friend has already left. So visiting is out of the question now so no more dilemma there.

 

The key chain, it doesn`t bother me at all to keep it and it was way to precious to him for me to just throw it out, and throwing it out is not really a sign of moving on for me. I don`t look at it, I have jsut kept it safely out of my sight untill I figure out what I want to do with it.

 

I am getting mixed responses about this, but I personally think the best thing to do is to give to a good common friend, so she can explain and give it back to him.

 

But the thing is, we seemed to have gotten back into contact a bit, he messaged me last night on msn to say merry christmas. And the conversation went from there for about an hour, and was pretty nice. He was sweet and talking nice and all so it seemed like maybe he wants to bring the friendship back that we shared befere we even started dating. Which is what I want right now, because the love part is gone mainly, from what I feel. Anyways, we`ll see what happens, for now, enjoy your christmas everyone.