Rachel_0814p Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 (edited) Ha, ok, so I don't know how my BF or his kids (who live with us) will feel about this, and I don't really care! I've had so much trouble with his ex-wife about so many things, and I finally feel like I righted this particular situation. Bear with me, I just had to tell someone! So, it's nearly 4AM Christmas morning where I'm at, and I'm home alone because my BF's younger kids are visiting their mother out of state and my BF and his oldest are visiting his family, also out of state. My mom went to see my brother, also out of state, so I'm home alone watching everyone's dogs. But I don't mind, the dogs are more well behaved than the kids, so I'm content. Anyway, when everyone is gone and I have some time to myself (which isn't often) I like to take on tasks that are too hard to do when everyone is around...like cleaning out the big hallway closet. So around 9:30 PM Christmas Eve, I start pulling everything out and sorting through this mish-mash of crap. (Everyone has a habit of just stuffing whatever they don't feel like putting away into the main closet.) Hidden way in the back are several boxes containing my BF's ex-wife's Christmas decorations!! So I pull it all out to take inventory and none of it matches the stuff my BF and I have. Our stuff is very modern-lots of silver and red; her stuff is all cutesy-country style and there are lots of country-bumkin looking teddy bears and snowmen, etc. Apparently she'd snuck this stuff back into our house before leaving the state, after I'd made sure she took it with her the first time she moved. (I should probably explain that this is the house she and my BF had shared when they were married. He moved out, they got divorced, he and I started dating, moved in together, then she decided she wanted to live with her new BF. So she moved out and we moved in, etc., etc.) Anyway, after she moved, she had a bad habit of trying to store things at our house so that she wouldn't have to pay for storage while she moved around from place to place with her new BF. SO anyway, she knew she was supposed to take everything with her once and for all when she finally left town. I'd put my foot down and insisted everything go because I was sick of her calling up to ask my BF if he knew where such-and-such was because she was just "so worried" that I'd "taken it and done something with it". (BTW I've been nothing but nice and patient with her, she's an absolute horrible person and she's always accusing me of the weirdest, most absurd things.) So, completely fed up, I'm looking at these things and I'm furious to know that she had the nerve to have her kids sneak it back in and hide it in the closet for her. And I'm so tired of her interferring in our lives and me being nice about it. So I'm trying to decide what to do with these perfectly good, practically new, tags-still-attached country-bumkin decorations that don't match our stuff that shouldn't be here in the first place because his ex-wife should have taken it a year ago when she moved out if she'd really wanted it... It finally hit me. Early this morning, around 2AM, I started to Secret-Santa the neighborhood! I left a little something on every doorstep for several blocks until it was just too cold to be out any longer. What's left is stuff that was un-giftable and tomorrow will be going into the garbage. My BF and his oldest arrive home tomorrow night, and when they arrive home, my BF will be hearing all about it. (I wont tell his kid, though). Again, I don't know what he'll say, but at this point I don't really care. I made an executive decision, since no one else was home, and right or wrong, I feel much MUCH better now and am pretty excited by the fact that the neighbors are going to be so surprised to receive an anonymous gift on Christmas morning! A lot of the people in this neighborhood are into the country-craft look so I think they'll really appreciate these things, whatever they got. Like I said, all of the stuff was really cute. Just not my cup of tea. Anyway, hope everyone has as merry a Christmas as I will! Happy Holidays!! Edited December 25, 2007 by Rachel_0814p Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Something I'd never have the guts to do, but would have loved to have!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I made an executive decision, since no one else was home, and right or wrong, I hear where you're coming from.. but as only the GF I feel like you over stepped your boundaries.. Maybe they should have been kept for his kids..or maybe the kids could have given them back to her. Those decorations weren't yours to dispose of.. I hope your BF feels the same way you do or this will cause an issue between you both. Good Luck.. I hope you don't run rough shot like that over all his belongings.. I have always felt that until a woman becomes my wife then my stuff is my stuff and not hers. This all is of course only my opinion and not meant to inflame and I do understand where you are coming from... I just think there was a better way to have handled it that didn't cross any lines. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 That is perfect! I absolutely love it. Please let us know how it all went. Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I hear where you're coming from.. but as only the GF I feel like you over stepped your boundaries.. Maybe they should have been kept for his kids..or maybe the kids could have given them back to her. Those decorations weren't yours to dispose of.. I hope your BF feels the same way you do or this will cause an issue between you both. Good Luck.. I hope you don't run rough shot like that over all his belongings.. I have always felt that until a woman becomes my wife then my stuff is my stuff and not hers. This all is of course only my opinion and not meant to inflame and I do understand where you are coming from... I just think there was a better way to have handled it that didn't cross any lines. Art gives the sane and sensible answer here....! Well done! I wasn't really advocating doing this. But it did make me chuckle....!! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 But it did make me chuckle....!! Oh LK... you know I didn't think you were advocating revenge.. I'll bet it felt good for her to do to.. .. She seems to have dealt with the ex on occasion and is just tired of doing it.. but being tired of dealing with the ex is something that comes with dating someone who has kids.. The reality is that she will someday be those kids Step Mom and what she did by throwing away xmas decor that was their Mothers wasn't thinking of the kids at all.. or even the fact that the stuff was in reality his/his kids's. This is of course just my opinion.. but I'm an advocate for kids most of the time with some Step experience under my belt. Link to post Share on other sites
MissCourtney Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 My fiance now... has been divorced and 3 kids...(his kids are great though, they call me mommy) When they divorced, he was in another longterm relationship, anyways she cheated on him, they broke up. we met 4 months later and moved to DC a week after we met.. Anyways when we moved in together i told him anything from her needs to be thrown out. period. pictures. papers. her books. her gifts. Everything. So when all of our stuff arrived from being shipped from Texas. We went through EVERYTHING and threw everything out. By the way. I would never be able to live in the same house that him and his ex wife lived in. It would make me sick to my stomach. I hope ya'll are not having sex in the same bed. (eww) Anyways what you did was completely understandable to me. Personally I would have thrown it over our balcony but you did a much more civil duty. Have a great day!!!! Its a new year. start fresh. C Link to post Share on other sites
SeraBella Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I'm very curious what your boyfriend's reaction was. At least you spread some joy from something that pissed you off. I don't really have an opinion on what you did since I don't know what this woman has put you through, but it sounds like she's taken advantage of the "storage facilities" your home provides one time too many. Plus, she doesn't seem like the brightest bulb to think you wouldn't find the decorations. AND, she's advocating her children sneak around and hide things from their father and you. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I think you did good! She should have taken her crap with her when she left It does not matter what your BF thinks as he is with you now so he should not care less about a few decorations, if he does then that is not good! What happened when you told him? ...... This post has made me chuckle! You go girl! Link to post Share on other sites
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