mylovegrowsdeeper Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Okay, I know what you must be thinking. But please read so you'll understand. I know I must sound so ungreatful but I'm more insulted than anything. I was given a bottle of perfume. PERFUME. Why am I upset about this? Firstly, it's got nothing to do with price or because I didn't get a cheesy zales diamond commercial for Christmas. This is why I hate it- it seems so damn impersonal and thoughtless. For Christmas I made him my FIRST ever acrylic painting. Of a memory that is very special to both of us. I put time and thought and heart into my gift, and he gives me..perfume? The man has a lot of money (again just listen before you assume you know what I'm saying) He buys perfume for FRIENDS who hint that they want it. Let's say I'd been hinting around all year that I wanted perfume, but no never once said it. My gripe isn't about what it is; it's about what it isn't...if you're going to give a gift it should be heartfelt- it should be something the other person feels you through, not something you feel like is just another dollar bill. Anyhow, I have to vent because I'm so utterly dissapointed it's done nothing but sadden me. I mean he loves me, doesn't he? Why give me something so empty and meaningless. He could of wrote me a four sentence love note- and I would of been MORE than happy with that, it would of meant the world to me. Again this is not about material value, it's about sentimental value and this gift has none. It's made me so sad Any of you feel this way? Or any other comment you'd like to make about it would be fine. Even if you just want to vent at me and call me an ungreatful brat ~ Link to post Share on other sites
infiniteQuest Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Hey I feel you.. My man got me something I explicitly told him not to buy me! And then HE got pissed over it!! I don't know. Yes perfume might sound impersonal. I once gave my bf cologne. To me it was very personal. I longed to smell that scent on his skin, and felt that his sexiness was missing only one thing: a distinct manly scent. So I thought cologne would be a great complement to his overall image. It is true that that year I was also in a rush and it was just easy to buy. There are pros and cons to this. I would say don't be so quick to dismiss him over this. Besides, I hear that men often suck at being "thoughtful"... Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Hmm, ---- ~ I HATE his christmas present ~ I was given a bottle of perfume. ~ it seems so damn impersonal and thoughtless. ~ if you're going to give a gift it should be heartfelt ~ I'm so utterly dissapointed it's done nothing but sadden me ~ Why give me something so empty and meaningless. ------------ And why are these people having bfs? This is what I don't understand. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Author mylovegrowsdeeper Posted December 25, 2007 Author Share Posted December 25, 2007 He's not a typically UNthoughtful man! For example, he spent some time christmas eve night trying to score some potica for my dad who really really really wanted it. That was SO sweet of him, it touched my heart. Then I get........perfume? Ugh Link to post Share on other sites
Author mylovegrowsdeeper Posted December 25, 2007 Author Share Posted December 25, 2007 Hmm, ---- ~ I HATE his christmas present ~ I was given a bottle of perfume. ~ it seems so damn impersonal and thoughtless. ~ if you're going to give a gift it should be heartfelt ~ I'm so utterly dissapointed it's done nothing but sadden me ~ Why give me something so empty and meaningless. ------------ And why are these people having bfs? This is what I don't understand. Ariadne Not sure wether you're trying to make the point..why be with him if this is how I feel, or that people like me shouldn't date if we're so hard to please ..clarify? Link to post Share on other sites
Always Wrong Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Touche infiniteQuest! We men are lousy at thoughtful. If it only hadn't taken so long for me to realize it. Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 He's not a typically UNthoughtful man! For example, he spent some time christmas eve night trying to score some potica for my dad who really really really wanted it. That was SO sweet of him, it touched my heart. I guess he loves your dad more. It's time to face facts. One should always focus intensely on a single incident, and ignore the broad perspective. It's always worked well for me. Does your dad have a cute arse? Link to post Share on other sites
Passionate69 Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 christmas present ? in my opinion I wouldn't make a big deal of it. all I need is a good husband and that's a perfect gift. anyway I'm tired of always recieving gifts from Hubby in any occations,I just told Him lately pls stop giving Me a gifts. roses would be fine for Me and You in my side. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackSwan Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 Maybe he spent hours in the perfume department smelling all the scents until he found one that he loved and was just right for you. Maybe he wanted to pick out a special scent that would always remind him of you, and that years from now whenever he smells it, it will always remind him of this special Christmas with you. People respond viscerally to scents, and they get imprinted on our brains. Put a little of that perfume on tonight, break open a bottle of wine, and have an evening of passion and love that will always put a smile on his face whenever he smells that perfume. Link to post Share on other sites
Racquel Colette Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 Perfume is really considered a romantic gift. Maybe he spent a lot of time smelling the fragrances at the department store counter and really thought this one would suit you. Maybe he liked the fragrance and is looking for you to smell more feminine and be more feminine for him so he will want to make love to you more. Perfume is a romantic gift, I don't see how you could see it as otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Racquel Colette Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 Then I get........perfume? Ugh I really think he is wanting you to bring out your feminine side more. Some perfumes are very expensive, and many women love to get perfume. I think he wants you to smell feminine and lovely for him so he'll want to attack you. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 Are you with each other at christmas(since this is the ldr forum)? Ask him why he got you this present, maybe he has a really nice and thoughtful explanation for it. Also not everybody is good with expressing their feelings through gifts. Especially at christmas, when you simply have to give something. Maybe he meant it well, and simply thought that perfume was the thing to get the woman he loves. Men are stupid little people and we have to be very patient with them. Your situation is familiar, though, since I made him a christmas calendar with 22 small gifts, and 2 slightly bigger ones for christmas itself (with 24 love letters). It is not as great as a painting, but it took lots of time and effort, too. In return I didn't get anything, not even a card (but a 3 sentence e-mail) and won't get anything for birthday or valentines day either. It sucks but at least I don't have to be all happiness over a bottle of perfume. And well, a letter would make me happier than any pricey gift could ever do. You see, I understand you well. Try to see the positive aspects...he was trying hard to make your dad happy, and he did that to make you happy, too. He wanted you to have a nice christmas and even though he didn't score with this present, he surely didn't mean to say anything bad with it. Try to look at the broader picture, see how he behaves during the course of the year and if he isn't giving you very special and personal tokens of love. Christmas is but one day, don't judge a relationship without looking at the other 364. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 What is with some people? It is a CHRISTMAS present. He doesn't owe you ANYTHING. If he decided to give you perfume, accept it as the present it is. If you think your present was so much better, don't put any effort in next year. Whatever. It is a present. He went to the trouble of choosing it and buying it for you. If you want anything in particular, buy it for yourself. Be glad you have someone to spend Christmas with, quite alot of people don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Jade 02 Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 Hi mylovegrewsdeeper Well I would be very thankfull,cuz a dude at work(hes only known a half year gets a 70 dollar leathrman,and he gts a case a beer,and I get nothing,in the secreet santa circle. But that ok,POF in the sea Link to post Share on other sites
LN99 Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 My ex's....never remembered to get me a gift for christmas. In fact, I remember picking out costume jewelry with an ex because he had no clue what to even pick out for me. It just wasn't the same though. I would have liked something from him.....and I think that perfume is personal. I would have been thrilled with perfume. I think thats my all time favorite thing to wear on a daily basis. If it's a scent I like..and he likes...all the better. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 I'm a woman but I hate, hate, hate trying to figure out presents for Christmas. Give me a list, don't make me guess. If I know what you want, I will move heaven and earth to get it for you because I enjoy seeing a happy, smiling face. Many men and women feel this way about presents. If you want something special, let him know what is more meaningful for you. Having said that, I have 30+ people to buy presents for, for Christmas. If your choice was for me to make something with my two hands, you will be getting perfume. Who knows how many people your b/f has to give presents to. Be reasonable. Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 Be reasonable. I couldn't agree more. You condensed it down to two words. Brilliant. Anyway, it's the simple things in life which are often most meaningful. And are often also taken for granted. Go figure that one out. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 Oh well... I would rather have perfume than a lawn mower... I think perfume is fine... better than a gift certificate... which is, IMO, the 'lazy' 'get-over-it-quick' gift... Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 Oh well... I would rather have perfume than a lawn mower... I suppose that depends on how big his penis is. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 Okay, I know what you must be thinking. But please read so you'll understand. I know I must sound so ungreatful but I'm more insulted than anything. I was given a bottle of perfume. PERFUME. Why am I upset about this? Firstly, it's got nothing to do with price or because I didn't get a cheesy zales diamond commercial for Christmas. This is why I hate it- it seems so damn impersonal and thoughtless. Well, if it is perfume that you don't wear, then yes, I can understand being disappointed, but if he bought you the kind you actually wear, then that's cool! It means he went and made the effort to buy you YOUR scent. I got a nice bottle of perfume from my husband, my brand ofcourse. Put a smile on my face... For Christmas I made him my FIRST ever acrylic painting. Of a memory that is very special to both of us. I put time and thought and heart into my gift, and he gives me..perfume? The man has a lot of money (again just listen before you assume you know what I'm saying) He buys perfume for FRIENDS who hint that they want it. Let's say I'd been hinting around all year that I wanted perfume, but no never once said it. Expect less that way you won't be disappointed. Just because you're in tune with everyone, and you put effort into buying gifts, doesn't mean everyone else, aka your boyfriend has to. People are different and if you go in expecting ALOT, you will be disappointed, hense your Xmas gift. Again, because yours is thoughtful and heartfelt, doesn't mean that your boyfriend's gift to you isn't. Maybe to him, him giving you perfume was heartfelt. My gripe isn't about what it is; it's about what it isn't...if you're going to give a gift it should be heartfelt- it should be something the other person feels you through, not something you feel like is just another dollar bill. Again, you have high expectations of what YOU think others should do as in gift giving. It isn't fair to put that on someone if it's not what they're used to. Instead of getting upset about it, be happy he actually bought you something. Anyhow, I have to vent because I'm so utterly dissapointed it's done nothing but sadden me. I mean he loves me, doesn't he? Why give me something so empty and meaningless. That is how YOU are interpretting it, doesn't mean HE is! Stop thinking negatively! I mean, if he didn't love you he wouldn't have bought you anything. He could of wrote me a four sentence love note- and I would of been MORE than happy with that, it would of meant the world to me. Again this is not about material value, it's about sentimental value and this gift has none. It's made me so sad Any of you feel this way? Or any other comment you'd like to make about it would be fine. Even if you just want to vent at me and call me an ungreatful brat ~ Could have, but he didn't. I'm sure he is like most guys and he doesn't write love notes. Many men aren't mushy that way. Look for his ACTIONS, what he does while he's with you, how he treats you, the nice things he does when you two are togther. THOSE are things you need to focus on and base your relationship and love on, NOT Xmas presents, let alone a bottle of perfume that you got from him. Did you talk to him about this? If so, what did he say? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 For example, he spent some time christmas eve night trying to score some potica for my dad who really really really wanted it. That was SO sweet of him, it touched my heart. Then I get........perfume? See, his ACTIONS count. The nice thing he did for your father. THAT should count a hell of alot more than him not getting you the perfect gift. Next time spell it out for him, and I mean TELL HIM what you want for Xmas or for your birthday that way you won't be disappointed. Or, just lower your expectations of him and let him be who he is. A nice, giving guy who cares alot about his girlfriend and family, but gives perfume as an Xmas gift. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 Its a LDR right? Perhaps he liked the perfume and wants to smell it on you? And in your absence can smell it? A friend of mine was in a LDR and use to put his gf's favorite scent on one of his pillows. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 Another practical thought. Perfume ships better because it's always well packaged and isn't very heavy or an awkward package size. I was thinking about a few people I ship to and it's something kept in mind, when finding gifts for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 A friend of mine was in a LDR and use to put his gf's favorite scent on one of his pillows. I am sobbing uncontrollably right now. I guess this is why b4r finds it so hard to part with them. Link to post Share on other sites
purplebubbles Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 I sure hope that he didn't know how disappointed you were with recieving perfume! I'd be heartbroken if I'd spent time and money trying to find something that my boyfriend absolutely loved, only to recieve a half-assed thank you. You say that the gift is meaningless, but doesn't the old saying that "it's the thought that counts" ring true in this situation. I mean, he spent time and effort finding you something that he thought that you might enjoy, isn't that better than recieving a big fat nothing? Is he usually a sentimental person? Perhaps it's just not in his nature to give you something that is sentimental. I guess that we can speculate about why you didn't recieve what you wanted, but it's definitely not in your best interests to give a gift and expect anything back. For Christmas this year I recieved a very simple card with some sapphire earrings enclosed (that obviously cost a small fortune). The card just said "I love you with all of my heart" and had his name signed in it. It was the most heartfelt gift that he could've given me. Yet, it wasn't anything sappy & sentimental? Link to post Share on other sites
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