How do you cope?

[White Flower]

You sound like you're getting stronger already!

 

Yes, people do not know how strong they can be until they are put into a situation. Then they find out what they're really made of. It sounds already that you have bones of steel my friend! Those bones are protecting a very soft heart and anyone who knows you is very lucky indeed.

 

Hugs,

WF.

[Lyssa]

I miss my late mother a lot more today and I am not coping well right now. It is almost 8 months and it is still fresh in my mind. What triggered this feeling was seeing my father staring at a picture of them both. He told me that he misses her a lot and feels lonely. I wish I could make him feel better.

 

I miss her a lot. I really do and a lot of good things are happening in my life right now and I wish she was around for me to talk to... for her to give me her insights, advice and mostly her hugs and kisses.

[Kasan]

Oh Lyssa--

 

I believe that the death of a parent is not something that becomes easier with age, nor do I think that the loss fades with time.

 

I believe your mother's death will stay with you and shape you for the rest of your life--how could it not? Your mother was your reference point as she helped define you.

 

I am sorry that you are hurting so.

[orangehose]

I just read through a few pages of this thread and cried. You're a strong person, Lyssa, and it is only normal to still have difficult days and miss someone so important and crucial to you.

[marlena]

Lyssa darling,

 

I was thinking of starting a thread about how I am not coping well with my parents' deaths and it's been almost four years. I wish I had the right words to comfort you but I am at a loss as much as you. I don't know if it helps to know that someone else, some one who thinks so highly of you,is also going through the same thing. You have my sympathy and many, many warm embraces.

[Lyssa]

You're right, Kasan. It isn't something that becomes easier. I know I've said this somewhere in this thread that even in my late twenties, I still need my mother. I feel that there is so much more that we haven't done together especially when I see my friends with their mothers - that is why at times, it is hard for me to cope.

 

Orangehose - Thank you for your kind words and I'm sorry - I didn't mean to make anyone cry with my thread

 

Marlena, you know you are always welcome to use my thread to talk about your parents' deaths (if you don't feel like starting one).

 

It always helps knowing someone I admire and respect so much is going through the same thing, understands how I feeling and why I still find it hard to cope with my loss. You have mine - empathy and many hugs.

[marlena]

Lyssa,

 

Your dear mother raised a wonderful human being. That can only mean that she, too, was an amazing woman. She would be proud of you.

[tealeafbud]

I'm not, I'm getting weaker by the second.

[Lyssa]

I'm not, I'm getting weaker by the second.

 

Did one of your parents passed away too?

 

I know what you mean. At times, I feel stronger but when I see something that reminds me of my late mother - I break down and cry.

[Lyssa]

I can say the same thing about your parents, Marlena.

[marlena]

Thanks my sweet Lyssa. We'll help eachother get through this. I promise.

[White Flower]

Lyssa, you are very strong, intelligent, and funny. I agree with Marlena that you are a reflection of your mother and she lives in you. Be proud of that.

 

I see it in Marlena as well;). Always dignified and full of integrity. Your parents did a good job, too.

 

We should start a thread about people who have lost both parents because it is so hard knowing there is nobody left to look up to. I guess that is why they do such a good job in raising us--they know we can handle it. But I do envy people my age and older who still have their parents to talk to and spend time with. All we can do is remind them to cherish every moment they have with them.

 

Lyssa, big hugs to you and your father.

[marlena]

I see it in Marlena as well. Always dignified and full of integrity. Your parents did a good job, too.

 

 

Thank you, WF! I see it in you, too. You have class, a gentle heart and a rare dignity.

 

Yes, it is extremely hard to have lost both parents at what ever age. Suddenly, life becomes scary as you realize that the two people who were always there for you unconditionally are forever out of your reach. I feel so bereft without them as I am sure you do, too.

 

In may ways, of course, they are alive, in our hearts and in our minds and bodies. They will continue to live on through us as we pass on their wisdom to our own children.

 

You wouldn't believe how many times a day I hear their voices, still guiding me, loving me, nuturing me. I am sure it is the same for both you and Lyssa.

 

Take care of yourself, WF, good, loving care.

[Lyssa]

WF - Are you talking about yourself, girl?! You're all that you say I am! (((((WF)))))

 

I've been spending time with an old GF of mine - she is the only child and she used to argue a lot with her mother. They still do and when we met again (after years of lost contact), I told her what happened to my mother. She cried cause she felt so bad for all the arguments she had with her mother.

 

Now she tells me that she spends time with her mother - taking her shopping, helping her mother out with her business etc. My GF said there isn't a day pass by that she doesn't tell her mother how much her mother means to her. GF said what happened to me made her realise how much she has taken advantage of her mother. That made me feel good and yes, people need to remind themselves to cherish the loved ones they have in their lives.

 

Oh Marlena, you are absolutely right! I feel scared, even though I still have my father. I am so afraid of losing him too - unexpectedly. Whenever he goes out, it scares me if I don't hear from him after an hour. That's how paranoid I am now!