A New Perspective

[Ariadne]

Yey!

 

Ok guys. I went to an Indian market to buy food like I do very often, and right next to it there is an Indian store where they sell clothes.

 

So I walked right in, and I bought two Indian attires that look just like the one this girl is wearing in this pic on the right.

 

They were only 14 dollars each for the three pieces, tunic, pants, and a scarf. And the scarf is so big I can make a dress with it.

 

They are the most comfortable thing ever, all silk. The pants, believe it or not, are about 2 yards wide, you just pull a string to fit your waist. And since the tunic goes all the way to your knees, it still looks great.

 

The print is so beautiful that it makes the whole attire. I got one in a purple tone and the other one in yellow.

 

I'm not sure if I could go to work with that though, because it looks like I'm wearing some Indian custome.

 

Ariadne

[Kamille]

That's a good question. I think I'm really weird and I can't relate to most people. I always say the most inappropriate things at the weirdest times.

 

Amen. and that's how we love you Ariadne!

[Lights]

What everyone else said.

 

Shifting one's interests is fine, but using unhealthy compensatory mechanisms to cover for areas in one's life one considers lacking is never the way.

 

Hope things work out for you.

[Ariadne]

Hope things work out for you.

 

Thanks Lights.

[Ariadne]

Amen. and that's how we love you Ariadne!

 

It's not as fun as it seems Kamille, but thanks.

 

Btw, I look like a clown!!!

 

(Maybe next time I get those weird clothes I'll get them in plain color, like brown or some)

 

Ariadne

[Ariadne]

This is so stupid...

 

No wonder they have this weight problem in America when they make it so hard.

 

I had a doctor's appt today that I waited weeks for, and the main reason I wanted to go to this appt was to ask the doctor to give me Meridia.

 

This is a weight control medication that has an SSRI element to it, and without being a stimulant, you forget about food and somehow you become more balanced and don't have any cravings for sweets etc.

 

Ok, saw the doctor and told him I've been gaining weight lately and that I wanted this medication.

 

Ha! Ha!!! Suuure buddy...

 

He told me that no doctor in the "whole entire medical building" would give me that medication. That the only thing he could refer me to was to a dietitian that was was going to tell me to "eat healthy and exercise" to lose weight but no medication.

 

And if I wanted the medication I'd have to join some clinic that they have, commit to weekly meetings, monitor the weight, maybe get medication (but not for sure), and pay 600 dollars out of my pocket!!!

 

OMG

 

This is so outrageous, I'm pissed. I'm going to have to go to Mexico and buy that thing over the counter for 20 dollars.

 

Back where I'm from in South America everyone is skinny, people are like models on the street, and they sell Xenical over the counter and even Meridia is pretty easy to get. Oh yeah, and birth control and antibiotics too. So nobody gets pregnant and you don't have to go to the doctor for a sore throat.

 

And there I was counting on this doctor to help me here... sigh... now I have to go back at 12 for a mammogram, that's what I got.

[Always Wrong]

And our government wonders why we have an illegal "pharmaceuticals" problem in the USA!

 

That's the only way we can get them... illegally!

 

We try the legal route and get turned down... so we're supposed to be good little droans and go home now... yes doctor, I'm going home now... by way of Tijuana!

[Star Gazer]

Nothing natural about it. I tend to gain weight when I am in a relationship and get skinny when I'm single. And when I'm broken-hearted I have to force myself to eat.

 

I'm exactly the same way.

 

Ariadne - you're using food as a substitute to comfort you for what's missing in your life. You can easily find other things - hobbies, exercise, etc. - to fill that void other than food.

[Racquel Colette]

You need to exercise regularly. When I am not in a relationship, this helps me to stay slim because when I am working out, there is motivation to eat healthily, otherwise the working out is a big waste of time.

Join a gym, then just think, you will get slim AND tone, and you will more easily get a guy up to your standards. This works.

It also helps me being motivated to work out because a month ago I started seeing a guy, the first time I felt butterflies since my last ex & I broke up a year and a half ago. This new guy is in good shape, and although he is infatuated with my body, it is motivation to keep working out.

Good luck!

[dropdeadlegs]

Ariadne,

 

You often baffle me in the way you say that you "say inappropriate things" at times, but yet I also adore you. Your screen name, avitars, and your photos are always of a beautiful nature, and I love beauty.

 

The idea of letting yourself go is certainly appealing, but I don't think you will be happy as an obese person. I also think your high weight would be limited, naturally. Tunics are very comfortable, so I see no problem in wearing things of that sort. I'm sorry that your Indian attire purchases were disappointing.

 

The photo of you while in Montevideo is fabulous! You look very healthy and fit. I'm curious, did you feel like you were starving while visiting your parents? I know that before you left that you mentioned that you lose weight while down south, and I assumed that the "menu" was simply better balanced and probably healthier.

 

Denver guy...I had my say on that topic once and won't harp on you about him. I hope you will put his memory to rest at some point, but that will only happen when you are ready to do so. I concede defeat on that subject.

 

Meridia, while not classified as an antidepressant, might be acting as such for you. You mentioned SSRI and that is a key "phrase" with most antidepressants. If it was working for you, go to Mexico and get some. The US has some harsh drug guidelines and i believe that many prescription drugs should be classified as over the counter medications.

 

While you're there get me some!

[Ariadne]

And our government wonders why we have an illegal "pharmaceuticals" problem in the USA!

 

That's the only way we can get them... illegally!

 

We try the legal route and get turned down... so we're supposed to be good little droans and go home now... yes doctor, I'm going home now... by way of Tijuana!

 

I know.

 

The only thing you can get here is Advil and Flu medicine. That's it. And then the market for diet products is in the billions, selling crap that doesn't work (green tea caplets etc).

 

I even told that doctor that I had taken them before and with great results. He said, I'd have to go to that clinic for some education and change of habits, and pay 600 dollars because it was considered "cosmetic."

 

I said, cosmetic!?! With the huge overweight problem that you have in this country.. This is a major health problem!

 

He said, well, I didn't make the rules, but you can talk to a dietitian that will tell you what to eat etc.

 

Argh, what a pest.

[Ariadne]

Ariadne - you're using food as a substitute to comfort you for what's missing in your life. You can easily find other things - hobbies, exercise, etc. - to fill that void other than food.

 

Oh, definitely. I have an oral fixation.

 

For some reason I don't crave for sex (if I'd did I'd go get me some guy), but instead I have this "craving" for taking things to my mouth.

 

I know just what to do to be healthy and exercise and all of that. That's ok. The problem are the cravings (I guess similar to quitting cigarettes, though I don't smoke), and my lack of self control.

 

I think the cravings are a result of not having love, that's the best explanation I can get, since when I was in a happy relationship I forgot all about food. But there's not much I can do about that, I can't have a loving relationship and the cravings are still there.

 

I was hoping that pill would help but, no can do. I don't have any hobbies. I have started exercising at work for 40 mins at lunch since they have an employee park. See if that helps, I just started.

 

Thanks.

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

Thank you so much for your words. I find your posts to be very mature and well expressed.

 

The idea of letting yourself go is certainly appealing, but I don't think you will be happy as an obese person.

 

Yes, I realized that. I saw during the weekend a movie about a girl posing as an obese person with some suit, and I realized all the discrimination and problems that that can entails. I think I'd be even worse.

 

This girl befriended an obese person in the movie, and it showed the world as seen from the obese person's eyes in a very realistic way.

 

The photo of you while in Montevideo is fabulous! You look very healthy and fit. I'm curious, did you feel like you were starving while visiting your parents?

 

Thank you. That was in my apartment though.

 

I didn't feel like I was starving. Over there I just feel more alive and inspired!

 

My parents have a big house, so there is always something to do, some activity. They also have a big patio.

 

Here in my one bedroom apt it seems like the only thing to do is to either sit in the computer or to be in bed. I can't even move. If I want to see a tree, or walk even, I have to get in the car and drive to the park.

 

It seems like life here is lethargic, over there is vibrant.

 

Here is easy to gain weight, over there is easy to lose.

 

I know that before you left that you mentioned that you lose weight while down south, and I assumed that the "menu" was simply better balanced and probably healthier.

 

I just ate healthy meals and walked for an hour every day. I was motivated. After I came back I kept walking for a while but after some time I grew tired of it. Plus, I started having the cravings for chocolate etc.

 

Meridia.. If it was working for you, go to Mexico and get some. The US has some harsh drug guidelines and i believe that many prescription drugs should be classified as over the counter medications.

 

I agree. Especially with the birth control pills. They make it so hard. I might have to go to Mexico, the problem is my passport is expired and it can take weeks for that to get renewed. I was hoping that doctor would give me some.

 

Thanks.

[dropdeadlegs]

If you feel inspired in S. America, why do you choose to live here? You wouldn't have to live with your parents, but it seems to be a lifestyle you enjoy. Your home country is certainly beautiful.

 

Is Mexico now restricted to passport travel? I don't live in a border state and I thought a drivers license was all that was needed. I guess I need to thank all that "national security" crap for limited movement within our continent. I wonder if we now need a passport to travel to Canada, as well. Europe is so open and even has the same monetary system. That seems so much more "evolved."

 

Whatcha gonna do with the Indian clothes? I can't imagine you looking bad in them. What you think of as overweight is probably closer to average her in the US.

 

I saw that movie you spoke of. It was on Lifetime and you described it well.

 

What is your line of work, if you don't mind saying?

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

If you feel inspired in S. America, why do you choose to live here? You wouldn't have to live with your parents, but it seems to be a lifestyle you enjoy. Your home country is certainly beautiful.

 

You know, I was waiting for you to ask me that.

 

I don't know. My son doesn't want to go live there, and somehow I got used to living here. I wouldn't want to give up either. My ideal would be to be able to go back and forth.

 

Is Mexico now restricted to passport travel? I don't live in a border state and I thought a drivers license was all that was needed.

 

I'm not sure, I was going to look that up. I think it's driver's license and birth certificate, but I wasn't born here so. I was afraid to go with and expired passport and to be in some huge trouble. So I went and bought "hoodia" lol yesterday after the Dr disappointment, but I didn't notice any change.

 

Whatcha gonna do with the Indian clothes? I can't imagine you looking bad in them. What you think of as overweight is probably closer to average her in the US.

 

Oh, I'll keep them. I love wearing them, is just that they are silk (or something like that) and I was getting pretty cold in them, plus, they look like you are wearing some flag. The prints start to look too much after a while. Like ahhh!

 

What is your line of work, if you don't mind saying?

 

I have a BS degree in Computer Science. So I work as a programmer. Pretend to work anyway.

[whichwayisup]

A, do yoga. It helps in so many ways! Start off by getting a 20 minute yoga video for beginners. Trust me, within 2 weeks you WILL feel a big difference.

[Ariadne]

A, do yoga. It helps in so many ways! Start off by getting a 20 minute yoga video for beginners. Trust me, within 2 weeks you WILL feel a big difference.

 

Hey thanks.

 

You know, I used to hang in a Kundalini Yoga forum for a while and I noticed that people swore by it (they also got up before dawn, and took a cold shower before their daily yoga session).

 

I have no patience for that, but I can see the idea. I'm walking now at lunch time, I've tried it before and I noticed that I remain in good spirits over the day when I manage to do that.

 

I work in a cubicle in a room without a window and it can be draining, so it's good to see the sun.

[dropdeadlegs]

I researched Hoodia and thought it would be something special. Instead it was hogwash and a complete waste of money. At one time I got prescription diet pills on the internet for what I considered to be an exorbitant price, yet I knew a DR would not give them to me. When I went back for more, they wanted 2-3 times the money for a 90 day supply. I will not pay $300+ for them, but they were good and gave me energy. I felt better overall, and a 90 day supply lasted much longer than 90 days. But sadly, I am frugal with money.

 

If your ideal is going back and forth, then do it! I know it is expensive, and LA is expensive, too. The wages are probably better in a high cost area, though. Your son doesn't like going to SA, but surely there is WoW there! Is he doing well in school since your return to the states? I'm now realizing that the SA trip was a year ago! Time sure flies.

 

Oh, and "pretending" to work is quite the American way! Don't fret about that! Just looking around here during office hours will attest to my beliefs.

[Ariadne]

Hey you,

 

I researched Hoodia and thought it would be something special. Instead it was hogwash and a complete waste of money.

 

You know, I saw a program on tv where this woman was reporting on hoodia. So she went to Africa, and some local black guy took her walking down the fields until they run into some wild hoodia bush.

 

The woman ate some to testify, and even she was shocked that for the whole day she didn't feel hungry. (Seems like they used it there for starvation or something).

 

Anyway, I went and bought a bottle of hoodia for 18 dollars and the only thing I got was a major headache so I returned it and strangely enough, they gave me the money back. But yesterday I went again and bought a different brand, some gel caps that were in sale, and I didn't notice any difference with the appetite.

 

At one time I got prescription diet pills on the internet...they were good and gave me energy. I felt better overall, and a 90 day supply lasted much longer than 90 days.

 

I once bought Phentermine in Mexico and those made me feel good overall and with energy, too. But those are stimulants. I got a bottle of 30 for 25 dollars which I thought was a good price. The only problem that my heart rate became raging with those so didn't go back for more.

 

Meridia doesn't have that problem. I tried Xenical in South Am too and I found it excellent. That one absorbs the fat that you ingest in foods, even if it's the dressing of the salad fat, and you eliminate it. It makes you lose weight twice as fast. But those are expensive, even in South Am they cost 50 to 100 dollars a package depending on size.

 

for what I considered to be an exorbitant price, yet I knew a DR would not give them to me. When I went back for more, they wanted 2-3 times the money for a 90 day supply.

 

That is horrible. I looked at Xenical online and it was about 300. That's the rip-off that you get because doctors don't want to give you any pills. You go to Tijuana and you have blocks to no end Pharmacies one next to the other, with big signs for all the popular medicines. Then you have to sort of smuggle them in the US which is also freaky.

 

If your ideal is going back and forth, then do it! I know it is expensive, and LA is expensive, too. The wages are probably better in a high cost area, though.

 

I know, I know, I'm trying here. Not easy being a single mom.

 

Your son doesn't like going to SA, but surely there is WoW there! Is he doing well in school since your return to the states? I'm now realizing that the SA trip was a year ago! Time sure flies.

 

I sort of made him drop out of HS, actually. He was doing things like at the speed of snail and he is almost 18. So I told him forget it. I told him to take a vacation for now while we decide on how to prepare for the GED and when.

 

I know, but he can go to 97% of colleges in this country with the GED, so he says he is going to do it "easy mode". Oh yeah, and he still plays WoW all the time. How is your daughter doing?

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

And here this guy put my problem into words. That's exactly it:

 

"In the case of chocolate this feeling is a soothing feeling. It produces the same neurotransmitter that is produced when falling in love. So it's very often used by people who are feeling alone, and not loved."

 

 

And to make things worse, companies profit from this. I walk inside Rite Aid and the first thing I see, right next to the door along the path you must walk to get in the store, is a whole isle of chocolates for close to nothing! All in red, for Valentines day. It's so hard not to say, the hell with it, I'm having chocolate.

 

And then I go to the doctor and he tells me that in order to lose weight you need to eat healthy and exercise. Like who doesn't know that!

 

That is not the problem, is much more complicated than that. He tells me, you have to know how to eat healthy, well, I know how to eat healthy. I'm just out of love and craving chocolate. Please help!

 

So frustrating... don't know what to do really.

 

Is like the doctors are stupid and don't get it. Oh yeah, and the Hoodia crap is good for nothing.

 

Maybe I should just date anybody so I don't feel this way anymore. Just go to some club and get the first guy that comes along.

 

Ariadne

[Jmina]

I didnt eat after my break up because i lost my appetite. i couldnt imagine eating and eating and eating to replace what i had lost.

 

i had to force myself to eat.

 

its like when something makes your stomach turn.. why would you want to eat after that? same thing for me.

 

its like taking a step in the dark and finding there is no floor beneath you so you fall. but it comes with a sick suprise.

 

i dont know about you but that doesnt make me want to go binge on the nearest cream cake.

[Ariadne]

I didnt eat after my break up because i lost my appetite. i couldnt imagine eating and eating and eating to replace what i had lost.

 

Hi,

 

Thanks. I know some people are like that.

 

I haven't lost anyone recently and I'm in no crisis of sorts.

 

I'm just out of love I suppose, the love of a man. And personally I believe that to be an unnatural state.

 

I believe that adults are meant to be paired. Yes, I'm relatively happy alone, but I know I'd be happier with someone to love, and I know it would be easier as well.

 

I notice that couples are always "helping each other." And I have to rely on myself only for anything in the world that I need or whatever happens.

 

Yes, I can do it, I've been doing it for years, and it's been stressful. Especially being a single mom.

 

And I suppose this unnatural situation manifests itself in some sort of cravings for chocolates, sweets, pastries, and stuff that make you fat.

 

I wish it didn't, but in my case it's a struggle to deal with that.

 

I was wondering what the solutions were:

 

1) Find true love (you know how easy that is)

2) Resist (I've been resisting and then failing for years)

3) Medicate to control the chemicals (the doctor won't allow)

4) Be obese

[dropdeadlegs]

 

I once bought Phentermine in Mexico and those made me feel good overall and with energy, too. But those are stimulants. I got a bottle of 30 for 25 dollars which I thought was a good price. The only problem that my heart rate became raging with those so didn't go back for more.

 

Meridia doesn't have that problem. I tried Xenical in South Am too and I found it excellent. That one absorbs the fat that you ingest in foods, even if it's the dressing of the salad fat, and you eliminate it. It makes you lose weight twice as fast. But those are expensive, even in South Am they cost 50 to 100 dollars a package depending on size.

 

That is horrible. I looked at Xenical online and it was about 300. That's the rip-off that you get because doctors don't want to give you any pills. You go to Tijuana and you have blocks to no end Pharmacies one next to the other, with big signs for all the popular medicines. Then you have to sort of smuggle them in the US which is also freaky.

 

If your ideal is going back and forth, then do it! I know it is expensive, and LA is expensive, too. The wages are probably better in a high cost area, though.

 

I know, I know, I'm trying here. Not easy being a single mom.

 

Your son doesn't like going to SA, but surely there is WoW there! Is he doing well in school since your return to the states? I'm now realizing that the SA trip was a year ago! Time sure flies.

 

I sort of made him drop out of HS, actually. He was doing things like at the speed of snail and he is almost 18. So I told him forget it. I told him to take a vacation for now while we decide on how to prepare for the GED and when.

 

I know, but he can go to 97% of colleges in this country with the GED, so he says he is going to do it "easy mode". Oh yeah, and he still plays WoW all the time. How is your daughter doing?

Okay, I deleted some of your quote, but I kept the important part of the "back and forth."

 

The drug I referred to in my post was phentermine. I didn't have the heart racing (or maybe I just accepted it as part of the medicine.) I have never tried Meridia. As for Xenical, there is an over the counter drug called Alli that is now available. Like you say, fat is eliminated, and quickly, from what I have read. I'm not sure of the cost in LA, but in my areas it is about $36 monthly. No doctor is required.

 

My son dropped out of high school, too. My daughter graduated in May 2007 and is working full time at the video rental store she was employed at prior to graduation. She is not paid well, yet has "assistant manager" tagged onto her responsibilities. I urge her to quit and go elsewhere for more money. Lowe's or Home Depot pays more for beginners, but she likes to smoke. I have no problem with the smoke, but have never had to "test." These higher paying jobs require an oral swab. So, she sits where she sits. That's my daughter's story.

 

I wish I were thin while in love. Sadly for me that is not the case. I am thin while miserable, or at least when I was smoking. Today I'm happy, my BF thinks I'm hot (but he's in love, and can't be relied upon for truth) but I hate how I look. Still I do nothing about it. I eat too much, and I drink too much. Cooking for him hasn't helped, although my kids eat better meals because of my cooking.

 

Maybe that's not true and we'll all get fat.

[burning 4 revenge]

Why dont you just start smoking cigarettes instead

 

And ive seen some recent pics of you and you still look really cute and sexy thin and not so cute and sexy overweight. Youre just one of those people who dont hold weight well, so why dig yourself in a hole if you're so fascinated with "love"

 

Plus you have an adorable personality and Im sure you'll find love if you go through personals or something like that. Youre not screwed like me

[Ariadne]

Hey you,

 

The drug I referred to in my post was phentermine. I didn't have the heart racing (or maybe I just accepted it as part of the medicine.)

 

Yeah, what happened was that I took one pill and soon it didn't do anything. So I took two. And then a few hours later I'd take more when I noticed it was fading, so I ended up overdosing. It was freaky.

 

My son dropped out of high school, too.

 

Did he take the GED? Is he going to college or trade school or something? My son doesn't know what he'll do as far as career etc.

 

I urge her to quit and go elsewhere for more money. Lowe's or Home Depot pays more for beginners, but she likes to smoke.

 

Same question.

 

I wish I were thin while in love. Sadly for me that is not the case.

 

I was wondering the long term effects of that, say, you meet someone you are happy with and after many years would you still remain skinny.

 

Today I'm happy, my BF thinks I'm hot (but he's in love, and can't be relied upon for truth) but I hate how I look. Still I do nothing about it. I eat too much, and I drink too much.

 

Do you have time to exercise? And you are so lucky. Did you ever end up buying the house like you said you might after he got the money from his father? How did you meet him?

 

Cooking for him hasn't helped, although my kids eat better meals because of my cooking.

 

Yeah, I end up eating my son's food too, usually bean soups and stuff like that. Not very low cal, but after making all of that is too much just for him.

 

Later.