Lishy Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 Exactly. If he doesn't trust his decisions and goes against him. Why is she with him in the first place? Ariadne Precisely!!!!!! (spell check?) A mans word is LAW! Do as you are told at all times and love, honour and obey! Men rule! Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 Precisely!!!!!! (spell check?) A mans word is LAW! Do as you are told at all times and love, honour and obey! Men rule! That's why you can't be with some idiot. You have to be with a man in whose character you trust, or at least goes in the lines with the way you think. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 We have the opposite problem. My H likes to stay with family when we travel, to save money. While I'm fine with this if we have a bed to sleep in and a door to close, I don't like camping on someone's basement floor for several days or sharing one bathroom with fifteen other people. We did this once. We had flown in for his family reunion and didn't have enough money to rent a car. We had to depend on our hosts to drive us around; we were sleeping in the basement; I felt at everyone's mercy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author allina Posted December 27, 2007 Author Share Posted December 27, 2007 You're so good natured and sunny, allina. You must be a joy to be in a relationship with. I was mad at my SO but we talked about it and ended up joking about his rude ways. Aw, thanks BO, that's really sweet Hi, Am I in the wrong here? Yes. As a wife/partner you have to trust 100% and without reserve all the decisions he makes. If he wants, he can consult you, but if he doesn't you have to support him 100%. If he says, I invited Aunt Cecile home for a month, you have to say, that's wonderful honey, I'm sure we are going to have a wonderful time. Ariadne Wow, well I'm speechless here..... That's why you can't be with some idiot. You have to be with a man in whose character you trust, or at least goes in the lines with the way you think. Ariadne However I agree with this 100% We have the opposite problem. My H likes to stay with family when we travel, to save money. While I'm fine with this if we have a bed to sleep in and a door to close, I don't like camping on someone's basement floor for several days or sharing one bathroom with fifteen other people. We did this once. We had flown in for his family reunion and didn't have enough money to rent a car. We had to depend on our hosts to drive us around; we were sleeping in the basement; I felt at everyone's mercy. That would drive me slightly nuts as well When we traveled to Boston we stayed in a hotel for a night and at my bf's brother's for two nights, it was a nice balance. We spent a lot of time with friends and family but also got a comfy, alone night away from the living room floor Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 ...When we traveled to Boston we stayed in a hotel for a night and at my bf's brother's for two nights, it was a nice balance... Did you know that your bf's brother's woman was silently seething at him the whole time? Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 I think you have the right to be angry becuae your bf didnt imform you or get your opinion about it. But Im sure if one of your family members or close friend s wanted to stay over for a few nights he wouldnt have a problem with that.. Its only Five days, and plus you already know the brother and is fond of him.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author allina Posted December 27, 2007 Author Share Posted December 27, 2007 Did you know that your bf's brother's woman was silently seething at him the whole time? No, she wasn't living with him, wasn't her house I think you have the right to be angry becuae your bf didnt imform you or get your opinion about it. But Im sure if one of your family members or close friend s wanted to stay over for a few nights he wouldnt have a problem with that.. Its only Five days, and plus you already know the brother and is fond of him.. Oh of course, my family is always welcome just like his. And I do like the brother, so at least it's not someone I dislike Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 Precisely!!!!!! (spell check?) A mans word is LAW! Do as you are told at all times and love, honour and obey! Men rule! I am in awe.:love: Link to post Share on other sites
Saxis Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 Hi, Am I in the wrong here? Yes. As a wife/partner you have to trust 100% and without reserve all the decisions he makes. If he wants, he can consult you, but if he doesn't you have to support him 100%. If he says, I invited Aunt Cecile home for a month, you have to say, that's wonderful honey, I'm sure we are going to have a wonderful time. Ariadne In an equal relationship, how do you trust someone who doesn't consult you in matters that affect your life directly?? I like a woman that can respect/trust my decisions, but a domineering relationship is hardly a way to share your life with someone. She has an opinion, and she should not just cave on this. As far as not being with an idiot, but someone who's character you trust, that's spot on! Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 In an equal relationship, how do you trust someone who doesn't consult you in matters that affect your life directly?? I like a woman that can respect/trust my decisions, but a domineering relationship is hardly a way to share your life with someone. She has an opinion, and she should not just cave on this. As far as not being with an idiot, but someone who's character you trust, that's spot on! Well, I wouldn't expect him to ask me for everything. He could, but I'd like him to feel free that if he wants something and is important to him, that he'll have the freedom to decide and then just "tell me". And to know that I'll be supportive 100% if it's something he wants. And not feel that he can't make any decision without asking me first. Say, he meets his best friend Charles on the street and says, hey, would you like to come home for dinner? And then call me, Dear, I just invited Charles for dinner, we'll be home in an hour. And not, Hi Charles. Let me call my wife and see if it's ok for you to come home for dinner or some. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Saxis Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 Well, I wouldn't expect him to ask me for everything. He could, but I'd like him to feel free that if he wants something and is important to him, that he'll have the freedom to decide and then just "tell me". And to know that I'll be supportive 100% if it's something he wants. And not feel that he can't make any decision without asking me first. Say, he meets his best friend Charles on the street and says, hey, would you like to come home for dinner? And then call me, Dear, I just invited Charles for dinner, we'll be home in an hour. And not, Hi Charles. Let me call my wife and see if it's ok for you to come home for dinner or some. Ariadne Maybe not everything, I agree. But things like "spending the night", or "a guest for dinner"... wouldn't you feel more respected if he did at least call and ask beforehand? Let's say you had a surprise romantic dinner/evening planned for just the two of you. Wouldn't it be a bit of a disappointment to have an unexpected guest at the last minute? I mean, it's just a common courtesy and consideration.... Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 Hi, Maybe not everything, I agree. But things like "spending the night", or "a guest for dinner"... wouldn't you feel more respected if he did at least call and ask beforehand? No, I wouldn't feel more or less respected because of that. Some things are spontaneous and I want him to feel free to make decisions without asking me. He could, but I wouldn't demand it or expect it. Let's say you had a surprise romantic dinner/evening planned for just the two of you. Wouldn't it be a bit of a disappointment to have an unexpected guest at the last minute? I mean, it's just a common courtesy and consideration.... No, it wouldn't be. I'd just laugh it off and tell him, there goes the romantic dinner I had for you.. and accommodate for the changes. And make it our private joke. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Saxis Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 I give up! Maybe you are a more forgiving woman than I could ever imagine, Ariadne. Then again... during my marriage when I'd get up to use the restroom, my X would ask, "Where are you going??", as if I were leaving for a month! Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 during my marriage when I'd get up to use the restroom, my X would ask, "Where are you going??", as if I were leaving for a month! Well, now "that" I do I'm kind of like a dog... and if I like some guy chase him around etc. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
popey Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 if alina has expressed that she dislikes house guests then she should be consulted before a guest is invited to stay in her home. At the same time, if it is his brother, and there is nothing offensive about his brother, he should be welcome. "a man's word is law... obey?!"... good gracious! glad things worked out Alina. Link to post Share on other sites
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