when you know it's time . . .

[ezmac]

how do you muster up the courage to do what must be done?

 

the WW and I are over. we both know it but we're both here "for the kids". we've grown so apart since i discovered her affair almost 2 years ago.

 

we went to counseling for a while but that didn't work. she didn't want to really work at it. in fact, she went at all because she wanted to be able to say that "we did all we could".

 

as it stands, she says that she doesn't love me and claims that she never will again. we have no sex, no hugs, no kissing, no nothing.

 

i'm at the point where i am starting to despise her. i look at her and in my mind i am hoping that she falls down a well or gets abducted by aliens.

 

she won't leave. she has it good. i am by far the main breadwinner and i'm a good dad by all accounts. i do far more than my share of housework, cooking, and child care. so why would she leave?

 

but i know what has to be done. i have to get out. how do i get over the hump and swallow that jagged pill?

 

advice??

[redblack66]

how do you muster up the courage to do what must be done?

 

the WW and I are over. we both know it but we're both here "for the kids". we've grown so apart since i discovered her affair almost 2 years ago.

 

we went to counseling for a while but that didn't work. she didn't want to really work at it. in fact, she went at all because she wanted to be able to say that "we did all we could".

 

as it stands, she says that she doesn't love me and claims that she never will again. we have no sex, no hugs, no kissing, no nothing.

 

i'm at the point where i am starting to despise her. i look at her and in my mind i am hoping that she falls down a well or gets abducted by aliens.

 

she won't leave. she has it good. i am by far the main breadwinner and i'm a good dad by all accounts. i do far more than my share of housework, cooking, and child care. so why would she leave?

 

but i know what has to be done. i have to get out. how do i get over the hump and swallow that jagged pill?

 

advice??

 

SO familiar. Read my thread. There are some very good postings (by other people) from which you may get an idea what to do.

[stampdaddy]

is she still seeing the OM?

[squirrely1]

Before you say ANYTHING to your Wife you should consult with an attorney to find out what will be the legal challenges in your divorce. Once you have a clear picture from a legal aspect I think the conversation should be a lot easier. I know this sounds cold, but try and come up with an exit strategy. Have a plan and try to follow it as best you can. It sounds crazy, but if you can try and keep the emotion out of an extremely emotional process, it can make things a lot easier on all parties involved.

 

That being said, how do you muster up the courage to actually go through with this? Remind yourself that you deserve happiness. That your children will model THEIR relationships after their parents. Would you want your son or daughter to have a marriage like yours? I don't know how old they are, but don't you want more for them? A home full of acrimony and hostility is not a good environment for them.

 

Choose happiness for yourself and your children. It will be rough on them initially, but it souds as though things would only get worse if you stay together.

 

best wishes!