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I don't know ...


bdfan1026

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Alright, lets start from the beginning.

 

I'm a 17 year old junior in highschool. I'm usually pretty quiet around girls but I'm also somewhat picky at the same time. I have yet to be in a decent, serious boyfriend-girlfriend relationship that lasts.

 

Around spring time last year I was trying to start a relationship with a girl that I liked. We were talking about dating but after a while she decided that she didn't want to date during high school... She's very timid about dating yet very friendly and outgoing about other things. Ironically, this isn't about her, but her sister.

 

Close but prior to the time she made her decision, her younger sister (now 14) began to get very friendly with me. Before this, she hardly even said hi or talked to me at all. I didn't really mind but it was unexpected when she started doing this. She would always acknowledge me by name and smile or wave and it seemed at first like either she was developing a small crush or just being goofy. I'd always just say hi back but I'd always kind of passed it off not really expecting much from it. I wanted to date her older sister, not her.

 

After things decided to pass the way they did, it ended up that I made a great friendship with her younger sister, who I'll call S for sake of anonymity. S would send me emails and would frequently im me out of no where and this is how our friendship began. We go to the same church and so sometimes we would hang out on sundays during youth group activities and what not. To bring things further, we're both drummers in the high school band. I'm planning on being a music major in college and she's very talented herself. I always try to help her out with music and its a great friendship booster. We talk most in band and sometimes we talk more about personal things during im sessions because they're more private. We've become quite close.

 

Here's the thing though. She's extroverted, I'm introverted. We both have completely different groups of friends because our age difference is three years. If it wasn't for her reaching out, we probably wouldn't be as good of friends as we are now. We talk alot. I'm confused though from her sometimes. At times it seems like she has a crush on me... Smiling alot, being talkative, and she's almost always the first to initiate an aim conversation, not to mention the random way we became friends. Sometimes it seems like she really likes me. Maybe this is wishful thinking from me, but I hope its real because I've begun to develop the same kind of feelings for her. As time passed however of me beginning to really like her, though, she got a boyfriend. This has been within the last few weeks. He is in her group of friends that is completely separate from mine, and I don't know whether or not I should (a)just forget about a possible romantic relationship, (b)wait for him and S to break up and tell her my feelings then, or ©anything you guys have advice to do that deviates from a or b. She is the first girl that I've met that I know is more than just a crush, because we both care about and respect each other so much and while I have other (girl) friends that I care and respect for none of them have I developed feelings for like this. I really, really hope that somehow this can work out. Please tell me what you think.

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in many states, this relationship wont even be legal once you reach 18. There are reasons for this. It sounds to me like she has more of a "crush" on you than anything that could truly be romantic. I know this type of situation. I'm 18 now, but at the time I was 17 and had a 14 year old interested in me. The problem is you have very different lifes. I liked to go out and party and chill with friends, but she wanted to go to the mall.

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Fer chrissakes, walk away!!

 

This is just a friendship, nothing more, and you shouldn't even be thinking of anything else. You're older, but I hate to say it, Biologically, developmentally and emotionally speaking, you are her age... Boys do take longer at this stage. That's not bias or prejudice, it's fact.

 

But the age of consent is way off, so leave it alone, and actually, if I were you, I would try to cool things a bit....

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