Can't decide where to live

[shadowplay]

I'm torn about whether to live in Boston or NY this Spring. Here's the dilemma. Right now I'm living with my parents and trying to finally graduate from college. I've accumulated 80+ credits, but was dismissed from my original school because I didn't finish enough credits the last semester (major depression, lack of discipline, etc.).

 

Now I need to transfer to another school and finish. I'm pretty sure I want to go to a school in NY that I'm fairly confident I can get into (my SATs and GPA are way above their requirements). This is the same school my bf has transferred to.

 

I won't be able to apply to any schools until March because my college was holding my official transcript until I paid the last term bill (which I finally did recently).

 

I have two options. One is I can rent a cheap room in NY (cheap by NY standards) starting in January and take continuing ed classes at the school where I'd like to go. The advantage to doing this is I know all those classes will transfer once I'm admitted.

 

The other option is to stay with my parents in Boston and take continuing ed classes at a school around here and hope those credits transfer in the fall. (There are also a few Boston schools I'm mildly interested in, so this may be a moot point anyway.) The advantage is I wouldn't have to go apartment hunting or pay rent. It would also be easier for me to find a job in Boston. Then I would move to NY over the summer.

 

To complicate matters my bf will be back in Boston over the Spring for various reasons (he lived in NY before). Then he'll be moving back to NY over the summer for good. One of the reasons he decided to stay in Boston is me. He thought I would be here. I was planning on staying until recently when I did some major soul searching and decided it would be better for me to move to NY immediately to expedite the graduating process.

 

Now I'm not so sure. My boyfriend is pressuring me to stay in Boston. I guess the main thing holding me back is I'm scared to move to a huge city like NY without any connections. I have grandparents on Long Island, but I'm not very close to them so I can't count on them for support. I don't know anything about NY, and I was hoping my bf would be there to show me around. I'm completely intimidated by the NY subway; it's infinitely more complex than Boston's. I also know very little about the different neighborhoods and don't trust my own judgment when choosing apartments. I'm worried I'll get lost just looking for the places, and end up stranded in some dangerous neighborhood. I kind of wish I had a New Yorker who could help me rule out bad deals. I feel like once I get a place and a sense of the city, I'll be ok. It's just getting to that point that's scary.

 

I really do need to become more independent, though.

 

I've already contacted some people on craigslist about rooms, but I'm torn about whether I should go down there and look around.

 

What do you guys think?

[spookie]

How confident are you that the classes you could take in Boston would transfer to the school in NY?

 

If there's a good chance, I think you'd be better off staying with your parents in Boston for the time being and saving some money so that when you do move to NY, you're in a good place financially. A lot of peace of mind can be bought with just a couple hundred more dollars in your bank account.

 

After living on the edge for almost a year, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and I think NY would be a scary place to move with no money.

[Geishawhelk]

Think about what, in the Long Term, would bring you Happiness, and what would bring you Pleasure.

 

And opt for the more sensible former one...

 

Happiness is more long-lasting than Pleasure, but takes more dedication and work.

Pleasure is more immediately gratifying, but is not ultimately, as satisfying.

[Sweetcheripie]

Great advice Spookie!

 

I vote for staying with your parents too. Make sure the classes will transfer but other than that it sounds like the best choice is to stay with your parents.

 

Get a job and SOCK the money away!! Save the money - I wouldn't move out until you have enough money saved that you could go at least 5 or 6 months without any income. Seriously, having a savings will really take a lot of pressure of moving out away, it will help you feel secure and independent.

 

P.S. Thank your parents! It is very cool that you have the option to stay home and save!