wants to test the waters right now...

[Mike85]

This is my first time on this site, so i am new at this... I am going through some hard times right now with my girl friend, we are on a so called break right now... We have been dating for a year and five months now. She tells me she loves me and misses me and that she is going to come back to me, but wants to test the waters right now... we just graduated from high school, she doesn't really know wat she wants to do for her career, wether to go to college or a 8 month class.

 

She called the break because i have not been a gentlemen to her... she never told me the things that bugged her, she always said she is happy with me. we are really commited i guess you can put it... the thing is i only see her once a week, and thats saturday nights. she is vietmonese, her parents are very strict on her and only allow one night a week. well on that one night a week she goes out with me, not telling me that her g/fs want to hang out with her.

 

in which i would never hold her back from doing. When i say gentlemen i mean not paying for things or dinners when we go out. not buying the movie tickets and i know that i did her wrong on that, so some nights we just stayed home and rented movies. her parents dont allow her to date, have phone calls from guys, nothing at all that has to involve guys... her aunt lives across the street from me and thats how we met.

 

her aunt covers for us by letting me come to her work to see my g/f. so i dont go up there ne more because i dont want to interfere with work, i got a job when baseball season started down at the down i bus tables and on the weekends or every other week im not at the dome i detail cars and fix them. so that i have money now to take her out. wat i am trying to say is, is it to late for me to ask for a second chance, she said giver her a month..

 

so i am so she can have fun with her g/fs, she met this guy and she told my mom about it, and hes 21, shes 18, im 17 turning 18 this july. she looks at him to compare to me and wishes i was more like him, "gentlmen like" when he is a grown man compared to me, thats like asking a 5 year old to act 15... i mean yeah i need to step up to the plate and make some changes, i know she love me and i lover her so much to. and i dont want to let go. i just wish i did this sooner, she warned me about changing here and there, but i never thought it would come to this to get me to change, the reason i just now got a job is because I internd during the week at a computer specialties center and had no time to work.

 

so now that i am out of school and working i want to show her i can be the guy she wants me to be, but i dont want to wait a month to see how things goes as she put it. i wrote her a letter which touched her. i dont know wat to.. any advice would be great.. i mean yeah everyone tells me im to young to fall in love, but i am in love. and i know she feels the same. well i think she feels, so i dont know if this is a time for her to get things off her chest before settling down or what i dunno...

 

i have always been here for her. i put up with her parents crap this long.. and will continue to do as long as we are together, i am good friends with her brother who brings her out to me when we do go out saturdays, the break has been going on for almost a month and one week. i have changed in many ways, and people tell me they see it. so wat should i do? i bought her jewlery, diamond earings, diamond rings, necklace. special gifts, and i gave her my v card. as she gave me hers. she is my first for everything. please help me.... there is more if you would like to know. thank you.

mike

[NEONINK]

You might only be 17, but you have wisdom and insight for someone much older. You have been really considerate to "put up with her parent's crap".

 

Ok, so you didn't have the money to wine and dine her (so to speak). Big Deal! That doesn't make you a bad guy. That's just where you were in life at the time. So what! There's nothing wrong with that.

 

Give her the chance to return to the relationship, if that's what you really want. But, if she doesn't return, you will be a great guy for somebody else. Make it a win-win situation for you!

 

You deserve that, and you already sound like quite the gentleman.

[Mike85]

Well she said for me to wait a month, I bought her a promise ring and we already talked about mariage and having two kids after college and everything settles down. and she swore me her life she would come back, but i guess you can say im pushing it, but see the thing is she is being stuborn and some wat immature about the whole thing, she knows it hurts me, she knows wat she is doing wrong, i told her how i felt about it and she said sorry but wat i said was not going to change her mind about the break.

 

she looks to this guy, and then looks at me. she says there are things he does that she asks herself why can't mike do this why can't mike do that? she told me time and time again mike there will be another guy, blah blah blah.. i love you and i do care for you. if she did then why would she want to do this for? If she lets me go her whole family except parents will dispise her for her actions of doing so, cause they know i can do, i know i cant. i just would like a chance sooner than a month.

 

she has giving me so much and the same from me to her. she knows we are meant to be, so wat kind of break is this then? i am somewat confused about the whole, maybe its something she is putting me up to just to see if i do love her and will be there for her. but i dunno. any tips on how i can get her back quicker? if you would like to contact me through e-mail or aol, my screen name is cutemike1017, and my e-mail address is the same thing. there is more to this situation so if you would like to know or see let me know. thank you

[NEONINK]

I don't like the fact that she is comparing you. You could just as easily have resorted to that type of awful behavior.

 

You are who you are. All of us have room to grow. And at each of your ages, you both have room to grow-up as well.

 

It just seems terrible unfair to compare. If she were needing time to see her friends, it would be understandable. But if she's seeing someone else in order to decide, my advice would be to start looking up. The girl of your dreams might be somewhere out there as well.

 

It almost seems as if this relationship has been harder than it should have been. Are you sure you don't at least want to use this time to make sure there isn't someone better suited for you?

 

That, at least, is a constructive way to spending your free time that she has requested.

[Mike85]

Mikey... man we've been thru so much & I can't belive we got things back on track. It's been hell but it all came out ok & i'm happy.You've shown me so much and i love you for everything you've shown me, given me. There will never be anyone else out there who will treat me like you have. I can't wait until that one day where we'll be together forever. And in that meantime I will promise to be there for you when you need me to be, and to show you the love that you've been wanting.

 

I'm just greatful and so lucky to have you. You've given me so much laughter since we've been together. And your love.. gosh it's so incredible. it's a different feeling everytime we share that kiss. It's becauseof you Mike that i smile everyday. And I'll ALWAYS remain here for you, and i'm never going to let you go AGAIN I learned my mistake, and i'm not going thru that horrible scene again. Our break up just proved to me that in the end love will bring us back together, i still wonder why you came back to me after all I put you thru..

 

and i know i put you thru alot. But hell it's a part of life. Baby keep smiling.. because i'm forever yours! I love you to million pieces. I'll never let you down or hurt you I promise you my life on that. But i'm soo soo happy now that youre a part of me again. Gosh hunny i love you so much!Muah! xoxoxoxo... Thank you for everything you've given me, youre an Angel and my love... It's a a year full of luv and laughter! I'm so in luv with you! I miss you all the time! The shaft is a plus in the relationship and so is cherry pie and the puppies....

 

hee hee. i'll never forget the times in the room and the teggy... Remember 6th gear? or service mechandise warehouse? Boy the good days, many more to come! We've shared alot together as a couple & all those memories will remain with me til the day we die. The smile on my face is always from you.

 

*she wrote this in a webpage not to long ago... is there ne other way i can communicate with you other than hear? e-mail address? ne thing. no i dont want to take the time to see someone else i know she is the one, she is just being selfish and stuborn right now.. she will come to. she told me to giver her a month and that she wil be back july 15th... so let me know how i can contact you. thanks

[ThisGirlNameKD]

Mikey, it's looks like you're learning one of those hard facts of life that people refuse to accept: people do change. When a person tells you that they love you, they are telling you how they feel AT THE MOMENT. When a person tells you that they will love you forever, that's how they feel AT THAT MOMENT IN TIME. There is no absolutely no guarantee that they will feel the same way 3 days, 3 months, or 3 years from now, because people change. Another fact of your life you're learning is: you can not make a person love you. No matter what you buy, no matter what you do or no matter what you say, you can not make a person love you. I'm sure you've heard of people that treated their lover super, and their lover treated them like dirt. It's because you can't make a person love you. If they do love you, it's because it's something they chose to do. And just as they can choose to do it, they can choose to not do it. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you to make them stop loving you, and it doesn't mean that everyone you love will end up leaving you because they stop loving you. You just have to realize that nothing is guaranteed. I would hate for you to wait a whole month for nothing, and she still end up leaving you anyway. What would you do then?