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me identify this illness


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HokeyReligions

A year or so ago I saw a news show on this, but I don't remember what the illness is called.

 

Background: The mother of a friend has some serious issues. We figured she was nuts but didn't know it is a real illness. She has never thrown anything away and she collects everything. Her house is literally falling down around her. She has a narrow path to walk around and everything is piled up to the celiling. The roof has holes and water leaks in. Two load-bearing walls are being held up by the stuff piled against them.

 

Her insurance carrier will not insure her any longer. Every room in her house is like this and she keeps adding. She doesn't have much money so what she adds are food containers like the packs coldcuts come in, or plastic tubs like frosting comes in; newspapers, things like that. She cannot throw anything away. I don't know how she even stays clean or keeps up her laundry!

 

She has been like this for nearly 50 years and getting worse. I didn't realize how bad it was until our friend told us recently that they are afraid her house will be condemned. It should be, it's not salvagable.

 

The mere suggestion by her children of doing anything about it sends her into an angry, depressed panic. She will Not have it.

 

The show I saw talked about other people like this and that it was an illness and that it took more than just counseling to help anyone and none of the sufferers did it themselves - it took a major intervention by family and doctors.

 

The whole family is a little 'off' and our friend is the only normal one in the bunch. The over-the-top obsessive behavior started about 35 years ago when her husband died, but the behavior itself began about 40 years ago when her oldest daughter was murdered by the JDL when they lived in London.

 

Her youngest daughter, who is now 43, still lives at home! She has never been married or been in a serious relationship. She finished high school but has shown no desire whatsoever to continue her education or find a better job and be independent. She works in a pre-school as a helper and has been doing that for all her adult life. Nothing wrong with that - but she could have moved into more responsible positions and more income. My friend is a school teacher who has to hide the fact that he's gay or he will lose his job. He loves teaching and is very good at it.

 

We just found out on Christmas day that his older brother - who was 48 or 49 - died in October and they still do not have a cause of death. His older brother was never married and had some relationship problems in his past and never wanted to marry. He owned his own home but was not particularly close or supportive of his family. Our friend is the only one who ever tried to care for any of his family - the burden has all been on him. He now has to pay his own mortgage and that of his brother because until they get a death certificate he cannot sell the house and his mother will not move into it - she won't leave her falling-down house.

 

I'm sorry this is so long, but now you see why I'm having trouble trying to find out about it online - how do I search? I've been looking for something for a while and can't find any information.

 

This is a very broad site and maybe someone here may be able to give me a name of this disease or know where I can look. I even called our EAP at work and asked those counselors about it and they didn't know, but said they would check into it.

 

I'm worried about the whole family, but especially the mom. Our friend is doing what he can, but he doesn't push the issue either because he's tired and financially unable to keep up. He could have her committed - but he doesn't want to do that either, it's emotionally too hard and then what is going to happen to his sister. He does not want them living with him (mom would'nt anyway) and he's worried that his sister will assume that she can move in when their mother does pass.

 

Any ideas?

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am emailing a copy of your post to my BiL, who is a psychologist, and will slap his response here as soon as I get it. But it sounds like some kind of compulsive order triggered by that particular trauma ....

 

BTW, nice to see you outie!

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