niceguy27 Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 Ive been "single" now from my ex going on 4 months now. Its over and done with and I dont think I would take her back again. She is still involved with the "new guy" and they have some real issues with each other. Completely opposite and I really believe he is a rebound for her and she has A LOT of things to work through herself. She is not the same person I fell in love with 2 years ago. Everything she does is completely opposite of how she used to be. And I mean opposite. For the first time both of us were able to just be ourselves with each other and now it seems she had taken two steps back and is back to putting on different faces for people. Nuff bout that... Anyway, I have a good friend of mine I have known for about 3 years. We used to work next to each other and she was the OW with a guy I worked with who was married. He had an affair with his wife with this friend of mine. Went on for close to 2 years. So I never tried anything with her as she was kind of with my buddy. Well...fast forward to now (about a year after they are done). He still hasnt left his wife and its been about a year since they have seen each other. I havent seen him in almost a year and I can now look back and see that he was just using her and honestly I dont think he will ever leave his wife. Anyway, shes busy with school and she tells everyone she doesnt have time to date. The last two months her and I have been hanging out A LOT. Like 2-3 times a week. Most of the time its with her roomate (who is also a good friend of mine) but lately its just the two of us hanging out going to the clubs, movies, etc. But she doesnt have time to date? The last month things have been getting a little strange and Im not sure how to take it. We go to a local bar and go dancing. At first it was all friendly and fun. But the more we went, the more "provacative" she would be while dancing with me. She would allow me to get closer and closer and I could feel the ol boy getting excited (haha, only because Ive never had feelings for her like that before). Anyway, that goes on and I hear about her getting a little jealous when I go on dates or hang with other women. My bday we partyed and hung out and she was sitting on my lap, arms around her, getting close, etc. Heres my little dilemna...She is not the type to handle a direct confrontation about stuff like this. Her roomate tells me to just play it cool and see what develops. If I pour my heart out and tell her how I feel she may over think the whole thing (as we are "just friends"). If I dont act on it, its going to bug the hell out of me. And just last weekend her ex happened to be out and I got jealous...wth?? Cool guy but nonetheless I think I got jealous. Week prior to that SHE got a little jealous wondering where I was and came looking for me while I was hanging with another girl I know. I did bring something up recently about the two of us and she real politely put it as us being just friends but just going with the flow. Ive always had lots of girl friends and know where the lines are and never cross them. But now that Im a bit older (Im 28, shes 24) I feel that I know myself well enough to know the difference between a friendship and something else. But due to the fact that my ex stomped on my heart I am leary about trusting myself again with these feelings. Especially ones for her. Link to post Share on other sites
s_n_d Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 I think this woman and you definitely have a connection. But I agree with her roommate.. You should play it cool for a bit and see how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 I have a question for you before I really answer your original question.... How do you feel about the fact that she was willing to be an OW to someone? Does it bother you? Does it not matter to you? The reason I ask is, she was in a relationship she knew was harmful to not only herself but potentially others. Do you think she's the kind of person you want to get involved with, due to this past, or does it not matter to you? Just curious... Link to post Share on other sites
tinke Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 knowing women (assuming it is another woman), my guess is that her roommate has already suggested to her that you are interested in more than a friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 so i dont know if fate exists or if i just have some weird bad luck...i was at the mall (first time there in 8 months and also where my ex and i met) with the friend that i have been spendong time with as posted in this thread. so we are there and as she is in a store with her sister, what hapens???? my EX walks by!! and what do i do?? stupid me, who has not seen her in a month, walks out the store and says hi. now, about a month ago he told me that we couldnt hang out the once or twice a month that we got together (casually, not sexually) because it caued problems with her and her new guy. she was kind of bitchy about it and said basically fine, whatever. then about a week later she leaves a vm wishing me happy bday...oh was i pissed out that. first i get the boot as a friend and then she wants to be all nosy and wonder what im doin on my bday. anyway, we talk for a few minutes about her recent health problems and she apologizes bout what she said to me and wasnt fair to me. she also commented bout how good i looked and hw the tables have turned...i go out and am very carefree (thanks to breakin the ''nice guy'' syndrome). she then asks bout my friend and i detected some jealousy there. i kept my cool the whole time (inside i was a wreck). anyway, we part ways and i meet back with my friend. so i go up north to spend new years with a few friends and am alone. later that night my friend calls me 30 min b4 the bal drops and is all upset bout her night. she is still in touch with her ex and he was bein a jerk. they had plans with hr roomies to go out and she ended up leaving because of his attitude. we then agree to mee halfway so i can pick her up and take her back up north with me. we ended up ringin in the new year on the phone driving to met each other and made it back up north to party a little bit and then hung out all day today. so dumb question here....in the big scheme of the universe (lol) what is it trying to tell me?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 oh and to clarify...the ex is a guy that she is not sleeping with and she tells me nothin will come from it as she is ''too busy'' to date. also, i never really thought about her situation as the OW...the MM is a very very manipulative person and totally played on her big heart. i asked her today bout him and sh tells me the reason for hangin wth her ex is to keep the MM out of her mind. plus she still is jsust my friend so im trying not to think to much into her and her dating life right now. we spend more time together than anyone ele we both hang with. thanks guys for listening!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted January 4, 2008 Author Share Posted January 4, 2008 any more inputs?? Im trying not to read into anything (thats why I come on here to vent) and just go with it as we have been friends for a few years. Link to post Share on other sites
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