Author JimMorrison Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 hey, I forgot to mention. This woman's father died a tragic death (was cheating on wife, and this woman he was having an affair caused his death) I think she has abandonment issues, so do you still think that NC is the appropriate way to go in order for her to miss me? Or do you think it will validate her idea of guy's abandonment? Link to post Share on other sites
johnnyj Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 First of all, let me say damn man I thought you died in Paris. Glad you are still around. I think this woman has a few issues, and I don't think you ruined her Christmas the way she is trying to make you think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 heh thats what they want you to believe! but im still alive and kicking, goin to have a new album coming out sometime next year! shhhh! Alls I want my girl to say is : "Come on baby light my fire!" Link to post Share on other sites
zilverenvlinder Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 When I told my high school boyfriend I needed space, he proceeded to come over to my house, and left me a spiral notebook which he had titled "1000 Things I Love About Elia". And there were, literally, one thousand things he loved about me. And they were ridiculous. "I love the little mole on top of your forehead", "I love the way you sound when you drink out of a can." Freaking ridiculous. I changed my mind, told him I didn't want space, that I wanted to break up with him. Sooo...maybe the little video was a bad idea? Maybe you should ignore her and call her a bitch. She would probably like that. Then follow her around (without her knowing) and find out what dude she's been screwing, because I'm a girl, so I say this without bias... A girl won't let go of one dick until she's got a firm grip another. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted January 9, 2008 Author Share Posted January 9, 2008 (edited) I dont know I think she broke up with me simply because of the situation, the pressure, I wasn't sensitive enough to her needs. I am seriously contemplating on sending a final letter, a letter than will show her the truth, a letter that will make her tell me once and for all to move on, or for me to hang around. I think if I don't say anything then she will think I am clueless about how to do some things right, but I want to show her this isnt the case. She thinks I'm immature & I think she is confused. I think I need to send a final letter to stop the madness, for better or worse. I really want her back, but if she broke it off with me to be with someone else and lied about it then I'd never take her back. If she really doesnt wan't to hear me out when things go wrong I don't want her back. I don't think she is lying about a new guy though. A week before she gets this letter, I mailed her all the money I owed her. She texted 'thanks for the money.' and left it at that Here is the letter, what do you think of it? I dont want her to come back because I waited some time, I dont want her to come back because she sees me with someone else, I want her to come back knowing that there was misunderstandings and she can take it or leave it. Maybe since she doesnt want to talk, maybe instead I should send three blank pages, one with an exclamation, one with a question mark, one with tears. That wouldnt be talking! letter: Hey! How’re you doing? I trust that you are doing just fine. Well, I just wanted to write this letter now that I have some real answers and some time to cool off. I have been doing a tremendous amount of thinking about everything, about life, love, and happiness. These past few weeks, I have done a lot of thinking about everything. I know I haven’t loved you one hundred percent. For example, I honestly didn’t mean to interfere with your gym workouts or your sleep you need for work. That was wrong of me to do—I just didn’t see it like that at the time. I should’ve encouraged you in your interests that make you feel alive. I was selfish at times. I know you were there for me though and you loved me one hundred percent. We hit a snag in the summer that I wasn’t equipped to deal with, but that’s what life entails, you’ll never know everything about anything and you can only hope to learn from mistakes. I know what love means now and you have taught me so much. I realize that I’ll never know everything about you, for we are always changing and evolving. That’s a part of love, to teach your partner things that they don’t understand, to adapt to new things— which you have done for me, and I appreciate it immensely. No other girlfriend has taught me much about anything. I felt no true chemistry between anyone else, and I feel our chemistry is the best in the world! Perhaps, in a way, I am grateful for the snag in the summer, for maybe I wouldn’t have contemplated such things. Then came Christmas, and I was acting smug. Sometimes I act smug when I’m nervous. I let the fear of losing you get the upper hand of me. I was starting to see that our relationship was a contest to debunk your confusion, and I felt I was being cheated out of winning. But that was wrong. I was wrong. Look, I love you. I really, really love you. It doesn’t make any sense for trying to put force on you to come back to me. I just assumed you would take care of whatever was keeping us apart. Only by making assumptions like that, I’m keeping us apart. I’m here for you if you want me. If you’ve got to sort something out, if I can help, I will. . . or I’ll wait. And you don’t have to feel that my waiting for you is a burden. If you really want me to disappear, I will. Take your time in answering this letter, as much time as you need, unless your final answer is you want me to disappear. My saying this is not a game, (ex's name), believe me. It’s reality, because doing it any other way would not be loving you. I’ll be okay with whatever happens. I’d just prefer to be okay with you, rather than without you. -- Now that I'm thinking about how fickle women are, maybe I should do the 3 blank page idea, wait for her to call, and tell her this info. But I think I should just stop the madness and know for sure which direction to go. Edited January 9, 2008 by JimMorrison Link to post Share on other sites
vivrantflo Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 A girl won't let go of one dick until she's got a firm grip another. You have a car? Great. Get in it.. drive to the nearest Walmart.. buy a pad of those sticky note things.. Write the above quote on each page. When done, stick them everywhere! Fridge, Tv, monitor, bed head.. and take note.. cause that's the most honest, and acurate admission I've ever witnessed by a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted January 9, 2008 Author Share Posted January 9, 2008 (edited) I dont believe in such generalizations when it comes to such an abstract topic such as love. No two people are the same, just like fingerprints. I could go as far to say a generalization like that is asinine! Not to call anyone that, thats just a personal opinion. If this is the case she was dishonest with me about it. If someone breaks up with you for someone else and doesn't tell the truth, they are by nature, dishonest! I'd want nothing to do with her! If she told me she wanted to play the field, I would've been more understanding. This was one of the first things I asked her before things got ugly and she adamantly denied it. I am definitely sending the letter Edited January 9, 2008 by JimMorrison Link to post Share on other sites
vivrantflo Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Very rarely a woman will admit she wants to play the field because... 1. She DOES care about you, and doesnt want to hurt your feelings 2. She would not be able to have you as option "b" if her $hit doesn't work out with the other guy. Trust me, she said she didn't want to talk to you anymore.. and that you two can be friends again in the distant future. Those are two red flags that should be telling you that she doesn't want you to know what's going on in her personal life. She wants to be able to see another guy, without having the guilt that you're still around. I know it's not what you want to hear, but going from my own experiences, and the MANY on here.. there's someone else involved.. I do hope im wrong tho.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted January 9, 2008 Author Share Posted January 9, 2008 Thanks. I will let you know the outcome Link to post Share on other sites
TerryTeardrop Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Dont send it! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Jim, now listen Dont send that damn pathetic letter! Just dont!!!!! Its horrible and needy and nasty! And why do you think 3 blank pages will do any good? Darling you need to move on, if she wanted to be with you she would have missed you like crazy and called, trust me! She may have another agenda but that isnt important, what is important is you keeping a cool head here If you really really need closure and you really really want to tell her how you feel then text her and ask to meet up. If she ignores you or says no it is for one reason ... SHE DOES NOT WANT TO! and you have your answer without all the guilt tripping and crawling. If, however, she says yes then you can tell her face to face and with feeling and see what happens I wish you luck but more than that I wish for you to NOT SEND THAT LETTER! Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted January 9, 2008 Author Share Posted January 9, 2008 alrite. I didn't send the letter, but I sent the 3 blank pages. It might not accomplish anything, but I don't think itll do harm. It validates her request that she doesnt want to talk. Maybe after seeing that she'd like to talk. If thats the case, then I can talk to her face to face. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 What on earth was the 3 blank pages meant to achieve? If I recieved that I would think you are crazy and ignore it Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted January 9, 2008 Author Share Posted January 9, 2008 (edited) maybe she will. She already knows Im 'crazy'. She is crazy too. We are both very odd. I dont really care anymore how she'll take it. She said no more talking so its the best I can say without talking. My last communication before I move on. Its a hell of an improvement from her x's last communications, them yelling, calling her bitch, spreading rumors about her, slashing her tires. Edited January 9, 2008 by JimMorrison Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 You know what? Everyone on this site is soo right. Im sooooo glad I didn't send that letter. I'll never take her back even if she came crawling and groveling. What kind of friend asks you for a "promise ring" and then doubts your word -- takes it for granted?! What kind of friend breaks up with you and tell you you are immature and need to have your heart broken AGAIN!? What kind of friend ends five years of friendship through a text, ends 5 years of friendship by hitting buttons!!! A lousy friend thats who, a person without a shred of decency. I regret sending the three blank pages with a question mark, exclamation, and tears. I never said anything mean, and this is how you get paid back! She hopes to be friends in the distant future, but I am going to call her to tell her to throw out the letter that was sent, to crush her hope of ever being friends, for the reasons above, and demand for my computer I built her. She never even turned it on once! I own a computer company and would benefit greatly from it, and I'd feel so good doing all of this! She can keep the rest of the gifts I gave her. What a waste of my time & money. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 She is right ... You ARE immature Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 (edited) ahh you're right. I tend to get loopy when I wake up in the middle of the night because of this. I used to sleep like a log before this fiasco. The best I can do is NC, be the bigger man, and move on. Who knows what the future brings, but I can only move forward and not do things I'd regret down the road. Edited January 10, 2008 by JimMorrison Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 (edited) Well shows over folks. I don't think she'll ever be back. All assumptions I made in my letter that I was going to send was correct, and that is the reason she initially broke up with me. Basically I was an impaired lover due to inexperience. We got into a lot of fights, I had a metephorical tally sheet of who did what for who, wanted her to stay up late against her wishes a few times, and basically didn't treat her the way she deserved. I treated her very well otherwise, but I assumed love was 50-50, when I should being loving 100% of the time. Then she gave me a second chance, but since it was around christmas time, and since I put too much pressure on the whole deal, especially after she ignored all my calls & I asked why she was ignoring the calls was why she said she wasnt sure if she shouldve given me a second chance. The letter and the chocolate blew it, and the DVD was too much pressure. She didnt answer because she wanted stress free christmas time, it being busy and all. She said she didn't want anything serious and thats all I was, I didn't keep a cool head. She told me that we could never be together again, and to top it off, my good friend went behind my back and told her that I think its all her fault. So I dont think she'll ever be back, and I lost a good friend who I thought I could trust. She was a good girl too and I blew it. At least I learned a lot about how to treat women, but I'll always regret losing her. She even told me once that she loved me so much that even if I cheated on her she'd probably take me back, but now, I think she'll never come back. I just wish she would work with me through these problems as they came up. =( =( Atleast she knows that I won't make these mistakes in the future, and she told me she won't take no bull from anybody anymore. Its just unfortunate that even though we both learned a lot that we have to split paths. She said she'd be my friend in the distant future, because she doesnt want to be my friend right now. There was no other guy in the picture. Edited January 10, 2008 by JimMorrison Link to post Share on other sites
vivrantflo Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 This is what you do now. Take time for yourself, to better yourself. And go NC with your ex. You're not the worst person in the world. Everyone makes mistakes, and no one is perfect. Work on yourself, and keep cool man. Sending blank pages? You want to keep your dignity throughout this situation. Back off, and work on yourself so you can be proud of the progress you make. When it's time for you to meet someone new, or even if you bump into your ex again, you're a completely different, and better person.. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 (edited) Thank you vivrant, you are right, everyone makes mistakes. And to everyone who has helped, thanks for being there. I appreciate everyones words immensely. Edited January 10, 2008 by JimMorrison Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Thank you vivrant, you are right, noones perfect. Yes JM.. no one is perfect.. it seems like you are ready to move on.. Good for you.. What ever you do.. please don't send her anything else..it will just start to look really bad for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 Yeah I know no more sending anything, NC is the only feasible option. I asked if she wanted her hoodies back but she said that I could keep them. She asked if I wanted my hoodies back, and told me she still wears them. I told her she could keep everything, the computer and all. She seemed to be happy about that. Yes I'm ready to move on, but man I'll never stop hitting my head against the wall, she was 1:1 billion and weve been great friends for 5 years. Link to post Share on other sites
johnnyj Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 heh thats what they want you to believe! but im still alive and kicking, goin to have a new album coming out sometime next year! shhhh! Alls I want my girl to say is : "Come on baby light my fire!" lol Just so you know, your old band has regrouped with a new lead singer;) Check this out... Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Awwww Jim I really feel for you babe Reading this has made me feel so sad for you as it hurts to lose someone because of your won behaviour. If only we all had a crystal ball so we could know what road to take! My ex will regret how he treated me just like you do, and like you it will be too late for him. Its sad Sorry if I was a bit blunt to you but it is so much easier to see from the outside. Well hopefully you have learned a huge lesson now and will be very happy with the next lucky lady to get the new, improved you! Post here any time you need support Jim xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author JimMorrison Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 (edited) JohnnyJ, thats pretty kool! Seems like Manzurek has spiced up things a bit. That poser tho can never match the charisma I had! Thanks Lishy. You kinda look like my ex, I was thinking maybe you were a relative of hers or something I havent met! I wish it didn't have to be too late. You'd never take back your ex even though he learned exactly how he wronged you? I really wish I did have a crystal ball, thatd be so awesome. Im not worried about finding someone else, Im just worried that noone will match the caliber of this woman that split from me. she was perfect in most ways. hair stylist, so her hair was always amazing. blue eyes, great physique -- not too skinny, gave me free haircuts all the time at an upscale salon, always partied with me, good massages, we could talk about anything, she could make me laugh, and i could go on forever! Edited January 10, 2008 by JimMorrison Link to post Share on other sites
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