readyToWed Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 I was proposed to by my long term gf and said yes (she beat me to it!) To save for the wedding and all we decided to move into an apt. together and have been co-habitating ever since. The first date we set had to fall through due to other family reasons. Since then its been difficult to settle on a date and time just seems to go by. More recently when I bring the subject up of if we are ever going to get married like we promised each other she's saying there are no guarantees in life and maybe we will and maybe we wont! My suspicion is she's not sure what to do with her life and is at a cross-roads. But her girlfriends mentioned that a fortune teller had said to her that she hadnt yet met her soul mate in this life, and whoever she was with (me) was not the one for her! Is she playing for time in the hope that she'll meet someone and find love on first sight with someone else? I'm crazy in love with her yet ever since this fortune telling thing I'm wondering if I'm being played in a very cruel game of finding someone better before its too late. I don't want to lose her but what can I do? We had even talked about having kids! I thought we were inseperable. It's been 4 months since this aparnet change in heart but she wont talk to me about it. Link to post Share on other sites
bserious2012 Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 The fortune teller story has a romatic vibe to it but who knows if that's why she has changed her attitude. Its quite possible that she's just not sure about being comitted to one person for the rest of her life. You never said how old you guys are but this is a big deal for anyone, regardless of age. How old are you guys? How long have you been together? How long have you been engaged? If she was already feeling unsure this might have been all she needed. I have to say though...when you're in love with a person it really doesn't matter who says what. Plenty of people have gotten married against the wishes of parents, religious clergy, and other people much more influencial that astrologers and fortune tellers. And whose to say that your soul mate has to be the same person you marry. The term is over used, her soul mate could be her best friend or sister something someone she gets along great with, she isn't going to run out and marry her sister is she? No. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 ...when I bring the subject up of if we are ever going to get married like we promised each other she's saying there are no guarantees in life and maybe we will and maybe we wont! My suspicion is she's not sure what to do with her life and is at a cross-roads. But her girlfriends mentioned that a fortune teller had said to her that she hadnt yet met her soul mate in this life, and whoever she was with (me) was not the one for her! To me, your g/f is missing something that she (now) believes her "soul mate" relationship will provide. That is, if anything, all the fortune teller did was affirm that something's missing in her current relationship with you. I agree with bSerious: "soul mate" is a term that can be interpreted many different ways. Most definitions include that an SM is someone we knew in a previous life. But the thing is, we could have had a loving OR abusive relationship with them...we're just recognizing the 'soul' in this lifetime -- it doesn't mean that everything was all loving and wonderful with them, before. Plus, a common misconception is that a soul mate will fill the voids in our own lives -- individuals need to do that for themselves. In any event, there doesn't seem to be great open and honest communication between you two, right now. I get that you're concerned but, other than try to talk about it when she isn't in the mood, I'm not seeing what else you're doing to really improve things. You mention that she may be at a cross-roads. Perhaps a book like, "You are the Answer: Discovering and Fulfilling Your Soul's Purpose" by Michael Tamura, will help her with that? Probably the library could order it in for you, if you're not sure it's a book she'd like to own. Or check-out other "soul purpose" books at amazon.com. Why not also mention the 'fortune teller/soul mate' thing, and ask what she'd need to see in THIS relationship, for it to become her soul mate relationship? (Like I said, I don't think it's a "soul mate" issue...but that's where her head is, so may as well work with what you already know.) The questionnaires at marriagebuilders.com are also great for gaining understanding of relationship needs so the couple can strengthen weak areas...perhaps a nice thing to be doing on New Year's Day, as you both look forward to a brighter and happier 'new' relationship? All the best. Link to post Share on other sites
bozwa Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 And whose to say that your soul mate has to be the same person you marry. The term is over used, her soul mate could be her best friend or sister something someone she gets along great with, she isn't going to run out and marry her sister is she? No. I completely agree with this. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and although I am 110% sure that I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, he's not my soulmate - or at least what the traditional definition of soulmate would be. Honestly, I do have a soulmate in my life and she came in the form of my best friend. In fact (which is kinda funny), she and I had this very conversation a week or so ago...we feel that soulmates can come in any form, and in our case, our soulmates are in eachother, not our mates. And this is okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Jordane Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 If she's listening to a fortune teller and basing her future on this she needs to wake up! Come on, those people are crocks and that should DEFINITELY not have this huge of an impact. You should talk to her about this. Tell her how you feel and see how she responds. She might not be into the relationship as much as she was. Are you guys young? Maybe she is coming to terms with how serious marriage is and it's freaking her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Haner Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 You've got to be kidding me... if my fiancee decided we weren't soulmates because of some voodoo fortune teller, I would seriously consider calling the engagment off. You got two possibilities: 1. she's doubting heavily and looking for any sign to confirm her doubt, even from fortune tellers; or 2. she's a flake. Neither choice favors you bud. Link to post Share on other sites
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