****!..we are back toguether but hes being a biitch to me!whats going on??

[Da_1_n_OnlyN3na]

well this is kind of embarrassing because i posted a thread a couple days ago sharing my story to everyone about me and my bf getting back toguether after a 1 month break......well i thought things were normal but i have felt something akward between us...ummm...he hasnt said i love you to me ever since we started going out.. and hes been really mean to me lately.....i thought maybe he just needs to get used to me again like before....but everytime it gets to me and it doesnt feel good....

 

a couple days ago we spent the day toguether and we made love.. if i can call it that....and then when we were by his house i said i loved him and he said "no you dont" and i said "yes i do i love you very much"...he looked away and he said "well you shouldnt"..i said " why shouldnt i?"...and my heart just dropped and i tried to seem like i was ok..he said "im mean to you i yell at you and cuss at you and make you feel stupid and shyt" i said "well i gotta get used to it i love you no matter what even if your mean to me or if you smoke...i still love you...why dont you??"..he giggles and said "man i dont want to talk about this im leaving"...and i said "no ok no no..just tell me do you love me?" he kept nodding his head...he nodded yes to loving me i said "why dont you say it to me anymore? do you feel it?" and he just nodds his head....well i didnt want to insist anymore and all i said was "ok nvm den baby umm just know that i love you no matter what even if your mean to me or whatever because i know you proably do it because i used to be a bitch to you before...i love you" and i gave him a kiss........yesterday night i called him and again he was just being mean and i told him that i had fixed my computer because there was something wrong with it and i said "i can fix anything"....he said quietly "except relationships...hahaha"......i asked him why do u say dat? what relatioship.. ours??...but he wouldnt answer.....

 

i asked him why he had gone back out with me and he said because he wanted to...we werent talking much and i was feeling down...so i told him i was going to go to sleep(not true)....well when i hung up i started crying and i decided to call him back and ask him str8 up what was wrong with him and why he was treating me that way....he was getting mad over nothing...and was cussing and didnt even give me a str8 up answer he said he didnt know what i was talking about....he said "cant you just let things happen and let it be??"....i started to cry ..he was saying he was going to hang up because he didnt want to fight...i asked if he loved me and he said "define love...what are the symptoms?".....lol....i laughed and said "well if you feel it you should know right?....then i guess you dont".......i said "better question..do you feel the same way for me as before when were going out before the break??" he said "in person your annoying on the phone..im not trying to be mean but you are..in person your not annoying...".......i told him that if i was so annoying on the phone as he said then to just call me when ever he wanted to hang out....he asked me "when can i see you?" and i told him to come with me to the mall the next day and he said if we could home early because he had a soccer game at 4 and that he was going to go to hooters with his sister and her bf... agreed....so i called him the next day and he didnt pick up twice...i called a 3rd time and i asked him if he was asleep and he said no and i told him that i had called earlier and he said oh you did for what...(lol wow)...i said "well to see if you were still trying to come with me" and he said "i dont know...no i dont think so"....i said ok then bye and we hung up....

 

i dont know whats wrong with him...i feel as if he is trying to make me pay for what i did to him before and its really stupid......i just dont understand how he stopped loving me in just 4 weeks.....how do you do that???.....or maybe he just never loved me like he had said......if he got back with me its for a reason but how are we a normal couple if we wont even talk on the phone because he thinks im annoying on the phone..i dont even know how am annoying.. i dont say anything to annoy him at all....im always the one to start the conversations....im so confused i love him so much and he doesnt anymore....what do i do..i have him but not completely.......any advice will be helpful...thank you...and thank you for reading up to this point....

[s_n_d]

My ex said his love for me died in the span of the two weeks between an anniversary of ours and the breakup.

I dont get it either.

But I figured maybe it was an excuse because love just doesnt die that quick.

Nevertheless my ex is the kind of guy who doesnt say ANYTHING he doesnt mean and he told me he loves me several times.

For this reason, I just cant let go of him and I will always have the hope for us. However, my ex was never rude to me EVER in the span of our relationship.

 

From reading from you just wrote, It sounds like your ex is trying to get back at you by being rude to you and inconsiderate of your feelings. Annoying on the phone? Thats just a stupid excuse for him to avoid talking to you. You dont deserve someone like this.

Talk to him about the situation and how you feel and take it from there.

[child_of_isis]

He is totally disrespecting you and you are allowing it.

 

Guys don't dig it when women take that sort of treatment.

[underpants]

Why did you two break up previously?

[Davey McG]

From what you've written about him I would say that he's protecting himself. You broke up with him for a month and it probably hurt him so he's just covering himself.

 

He probably doesn't trust you either, which is understandable and something you are going to have to be patient with if you really want give it a go. Remember, you hurt this guy and he's going to have issues trusting you for a while.

 

Thats my take on it anyway

[sedgwick]

Why do you want to be with him when he's being such a jerk? And why say things to him like you love him even though he's mean to you? This is giving over all your power to him and compromising on things that are actually a really big deal. If you didn't sleep with him anymore, do you think he would stick around and be nice to you?

 

Also...please oh please write in English instead of text-speak! It also helps to end sentences with a period instead of ellipsis (...), makes it MUCH easier to read!

[Da_1_n_OnlyN3na]

UPDATE: WELL AFTER THAT TIME WHEN I TALKED TO HIM ON THE PHONE AND TOLD HIM HOW I FELT ABOUT HIM BEING BIITCHY TO ME HE CALLED ME THE NEXT DAY AND TOLD ME HE COULD NOT SLEEP BECAUSE HE WAS THINKING ABOUT ME AND HIM AND ABOUT HIM BEING MEAN TO ME. HE SAID HE WAS SORRY THAT HE DIDNT KNOW WHY HE WAS ACTING LIKE THAT AND IT WASNT JUST WITH ME HE CHANGED OVER THE BREAK MAYBE BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN SMOKING ALOT. ( IVE NOTICED THAT CHANGES THE WAY HE ACTS) WELL HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO TRY TO CHANGE THAT AND HE HAS HES DIFFERENT HES GETTING TO THAT PERSON I FELL IN LOVE WITH AND EVERYTHING IS GOOD RIGHT NOW. HIS SISTER TOLD ME TO BE PATIENT WITH HIM AND THATS WHAT IM DOING.

 

Why did you two break up previously?

 

well we went on a break for almost a month. He called it because we were fighting alot since i was so jealous and didnt trust him, i understand now why he would get stressed and needing space because thinking back i acted very stupid and mean....now i am doing the opposite.

 

 

Davey McG From] what you've written about him I would say that he's protecting himself. You broke up with him for a month and it probably hurt him so he's just covering himself.

 

He probably doesn't trust you either, which is understandable and something you are going to have to be patient with if you really want give it a go. Remember, you hurt this guy and he's going to have issues trusting you for a while.

 

Thats my take on it anyway

 

well i didnt break up with him he called the break but i do agree with what you are saying about him protecting himself because i think he doesnt want to get hurt and isnt trying to get so attached to me just in case we get in a fight or something it wont hit him as hard. But i am trying to show him that its ok to put his guard down because i am not trying to get so attached to him as before but if i do i cant help it, but it will be ok because i dont want to go back to how it was before and ive told him. I have moe of a reason to trust him now because he came back. I will have to just be patient.

 

sedgwick] Why do you want to be with him when he's being such a jerk? And why say things to him like you love him even though he's mean to you? This is giving over all your power to him and compromising on things that are actually a really big deal. If you didn't sleep with him anymore, do you think he would stick around and be nice to you?

 

Also...please oh please write in English instead of text-speak! It also helps to end sentences with a period instead of ellipsis (...), makes it MUCH easier to read!

 

 

He admited he was being mean and said sorry to me that he didnt know why he was doing it and he said he was going to try to change and be like before, hes been doing so and i didnt have to sleep with him for him to be nice to me or stopped so he could change. I let him realize it on his own that it wasnt fair how he was treating me, i knew what i was doing. Now i know that sometimes he just needs his space to think and realize some things. i wasnt planning on talking to him that day and he ended up calling me around 2 am in the morning because he couldnt sleep thinking about everything i had said to him. i guess it is just because hes protecting himself like i am except hes just does it differently.

[Da_1_n_OnlyN3na]

UPDATE:

 

hes also acting exactly how i used to act... jealous, doesnt trust me as much, gets mad very easily for nothing...i dont know hes everything i used to be now. my friend told me when i was on the break that if we got back he was going to be the jealous one and i like it but its just that i dont want those kind of issues anymore. I want to be good with him with no more jealousy, trust in both parts, and just no problems lol. I dont know how to approach him ans tell him all this without him getting mad. He is so jealous now that today he saw me texting and he was saying that i was texting my bf. When i got to the car i hugged him and tried to give him a kiss but he turned his face so i just kissed his cheek and started walking to the car then he said he was going to call me if i wanted and i left with my friends bf because i gave him a ride to pick up his baby at the babisitter. I was crying while i was driving but i tried to not let my friends bf notice but it was too obvious he just stayed quiet, and while i was waiting for him outside in the car my bf texted me and was asking me all these questions like where i went and i told him to get the baby and he asked me if i went with my friend her sister and my friends bf, and i told him that it was just me and him picking the baby up. He asked me why i didnt give my friend a ride to work atleast and that if it was because i wanted to be with my friends bf only. i told him that my friend never asked me to take her to work, when she wants a ride she tells me but she didnt today and he got all mad and said whatever just call me when ever you want. he is so jealous now omg i dont even give him reasons to be that way.

[Da_1_n_OnlyN3na]

we broke up again yesterday because he was being exremely jealous...we were having an argument the night befoe about that and the next day he texted me and asked me if i wanted to hangout with him...well i went to his house and his mom was very happy to see me and his sisters,he asked me if i wanted to watch a movie in his room and he said "put away your shyt" i said "what...put my shyt away?" and he said yeah leave em here in the drawer if you want" so i put my keys and my phone on the shelf and went to his room and started watching a movie...

 

he kept coming in and out the room and one of those times h took forever..i was geting mad and i started to cry and then he came in and i wiped my tears he threw my phone at me and then closed the door..i started crying again an didnt know what the hel was going on..later he came in again and i asked him why he threw my phone at me and he said "cuz its yours"...later we started talking and we ended up arguing and said he had looked through my phone and saw that i was talking to my ex the day before when i had told him i did but not even for that long because my ex wanted to see how i was doing and i tried telling him that i had no other boyfriend but he would not listen to me so i tryied leaving his house but he was holding me and took my keys and my phone....i told him to let me go and he said no that we were going to talk but when ever i tried talking he wouldnt listen he would just say something stupid like "why are you trying to leave you probably have a date with you ex" nd it was useless trying to explaing to him that i was only with him and i didnt want to argue so i was trying to leave...

 

well he got mad and finally told me to leave if i wanted to and game me my keys and my phone i was comming towards the bedroom door and he said "dont talk to me no more, il tell you that" and i said "whaterver" and started walking to the exit door....his siter and her bf an his brother i think were in the living room and saw me when i was leaving i slammed the door when i left and went home....he didnt call me at all last night not even to apoligize or nothing so i guess that means were done for good....

 

this is so hard because ive tryied so hard to be happy with him with no problemsand this time it wasnt my fault i didnt do anything wrong.....i love him more than anything in the world and i dont want to lose him....but i guess its too late...

Edited January 6, 2008 by Da_1_n_OnlyN3na

[Da_1_n_OnlyN3na]

i know im probably talking to myself but just in case anyone is reading my shyt...

 

IM BACK WITH HIM AND WERE GOING TO GIVE IT ONE LAST SHOT...EVERYTHING SEEMS AS IF THERE GOING BACK TO NORMAL RIGHT NOW AND I THINK I KNOW WHATS WRONG....WE GOT BACK YESTERDAY AND WE WERE TALKING AND IVE REALIZED THAT HE SORT OF KINDA MISSES HOW I USED TO BE.. JEALOUS AND OVER PROTECTIVE. NOW SINCE I GIVE HIM HIS SPACE AND DONT REALLY GET JEALOUS AND I DONT SHOW MUCH OF AFFECTION TO HIM SINCE I AM NOT TRYING TO GET SO ATTACHED TO HIM, HE THINKS I DONT CARE ABOUT HIM ANYMORE. BUT WHEN I DO GET JEALOUS HE SMILES AND SO I TRIED IT TODAY I TRIED BEING CUDDLY TO HIM AND KISSING HIM AND ACTUALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM AND LOOKING THROUGH HIS PHONE...HAHAHA ...I MEAN I CAN PRETEND I GET VERY JEALOUS BUT I REALLY DONT THAT MUCH ANYMORE, IVE REALIZED THAT THERE IS NO POINT LOL...

 

BUT I GUESS TO HIM IT SHOWS THAT I CARE WHEN I ACT LIKE THAT. WEIRD HUH? WHEN THATS THE REASON WE BROKE UP IN THE FIRST PLACE...NOW IM JUST GOING TO DEAL WITH HIS JEALOUSY, HE WIL GET OVER IT JUST LIKE I DID...I WANT TO GIVE THIS ONE LAST SHOT I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE EXCEPT HIM ND IVE LOST HIM TWICE ALREADY I CAN DEAL WITH IT AGAIN BUT I DONT WANT TO WONDER LATER ON HOW IT COULD HAVE BEEN IF I GAVE IT ANOTHER SHOT..I MEAN I AM YOUNG IM ABOUT TO TURN 19, AND EVEN THOUGH AT THIS AGE ITS HARD TO STICK WITH ONE PERSON SINCE TEENS ARENT MEANT TO STAY WITH ONE PERSON FOR A LONG TIME, BUT HOW DO I KNOW THIS IS MY TRUE LOVE? OR MAYBE NOT...BUT ILL NEVER KNOW IF I GIVE IT ONE LAST SHOT AT THIS RIGHT?? HE CONFUSES ME BUT I KNOW HE LOVES ME....I CAN FEEL IT HE JUST DOESNT WANT TO GET HURT I KNOW ITS THAT BECAUSE OF THE WAY HE ACTS AND I DONT EITHER THATS WHY I TRY NOT TO BE SO ROMANTIC TO HIM BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO FEEL REJECTED..I NEED TO SEE PAST THAT...

 

EARLIER TODAY I WAS DOUBTING MYSELF AND THINKING "DAMN... DO I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH HIM?...DO I STILL LOVE HIM?" IF IM NOT WITH HIM I MISS HIM LIKE SHYT...WHEN IM WITH HIM LIKE GOING OUT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO WATCH OUT FOR EVERYTHING I DO TO NOT GET INTO A FIGHT OR ANYTHING AND ITS SORT OF ANNOYING AND THAT SHYT GOT IN MY HEAD THIS MORNING....BUT LATER ON IN THE DAY I REALIZE THAT HE JUST NEEDS AFFECTION FROM ME AND I NEED AFFECTION FROM HIM...NOT BY HAVING SEX OR MAKING OUT VERY HEAVY BUT BY JUST CUDDLING AND GIVING PECKS AND HOLDING HANDS AND HUGGING...THATS ALL WE NEED TO WAKE UP THAT LOVE WE PUT TO REST DURING THE BREAK...GOD IS GIVING US ONE LAST SHOT FOR A REASON, EITHER TO SEE THAT WERE NOT MEANT TO BE AND THAT WHAT WE HAD IS IN THE PAST AND WE CANNOT FIX IT OR BRING IT BACK AGAIN....OR WE BELONG TOGUETHER AND WE JUST NEED TIME TO FIX THINGS AND MAKE THINGS WORK ..ALL WE NEED IS JUST A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT AND WE CAN DO THIS IF WE DESIRE IT.....

 

I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN FROM NOW ON BUT....THIS WILL BE MY LAST POST...IF ME AND MY BF END UP TOGUETHER FOR A LONG ASS TIME AND EVERYTHING IS WORKING OUT I WONT WANT TO COME TO LOVESHACK BECAUSE IT MAKES ME THINK OF PROBLEMS BETWEEN COUPLES....IF WE DONT LAST BECAUSE THINGS ARENT WORKING OUT I WONT NEED ANY ADVICE TO GET HIM BACK BECAUSE I LOST MY LAST AND ONLY CHANCE WITH HIM AND I WONT WANT TO GET INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP....LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL BUT IT HURTS LIKE SHYT AND I DONT WANT TO THROUGH THAT AGAIN...BEFORE I GOT WITH MY BF A YEAR AND 2 MONTHS AGO I SAID "THE NEXT GUY I END UP WITH THATS THE ONE I WILL MARRY AND STAY WITH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, IF IT DOESNT WORK OUT THEN THATS IT FOR ME, I WILL BE DONE WITH LOVE AND I WILL STAY ALONE BECAUSE I WILL REALIZE THAT LOVE ISNT FOR ME" AND I WILL STICK TO THAT......EVERY ONE THANX FOR YOUR REPLIES AND FOR THE ADVICE YOU ALL HAVE GIVEN ME THANX ALOT AND I HOPE ALL OF YOUR PAST PRESENT AND FURTURE RELATIONSHIPS END OR STAY WELL....THANX AGAIN...

 

 

~SINCERELY,

DA_1_N_ONLYN3NA

[ElvenPriestess]

Geeze. I hope he had a huge apology to you before you took him back. I had an ex once lock himself in the bathroom with my cell and find a guys name and hand me my phone and call me a whore and crap like that. He once called people in my phone book and would hear their voice and hang up. You don't need any of that stuff.

 

I really hope he changes because otherwise he is hurting you and this will always hurt you horribly to not feel and be trusted. Jealousy tears so many relationships apart. I hope that you guys salvage and resolve before it comes to that. Best of luck to you.

[Lee725]

This sounds like a really terrible relationship.

I am chippng in half way here, sorry if i am out of place but the whole thing from what i have read that is currently going on sounds toxic.

 

I could not read the last post (sorry the capitals letters were doing a number on my eyes - maybe old age is kicking in!)

 

Maybe the month break was not enough here for you guys to sort out the problems you individually have.

 

You have just got back together and this should be a very communicative time and it should also be just like falling in love all over again should this relationship stand any chance of survival.

 

Just my 2 cents worth: but get outta this one babe, for your own sake, these up's and down's are going to cause you some serious trauma.

 

To be making and breaking so soon, to put up with and be subjected to any kind of verbal tirade, to be held "hostage", with a lack of trust, a lack of communication, the i love you / i do but dont want to say it, the acknowledgement of pshycological abuse in the form of treatment, the throwing of random objects towards you, just to name a few things.

 

This is a toxic relationship.