panicky Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 My husband keeps telling me thatI am crazy. He also says I am a bitch. I can agree with the bitch label....although I do not mean to be so disagreeable, I often am. However, I don't think I a crazy--clinically depressed, yes; crazy, no. My husband has a close relationship with a single woman that seems to be taking place mainly via telephone/text messages. He also is a recovering alcoholic that has recently started drinking again. I am so afraid of the guilt I may feel if we separate/divorce. Our fights are escalating, and he actually shoved me to the point of bruising last week. I almost feel like I deserved it because I AM such a bitch. Please help. Sometimes I don't know what the point is to keep on living at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author panicky Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 is anyone out there? Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 And you're still in this relationship....because....? Link to post Share on other sites
Author panicky Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 I suppose because I have been in love with my husband for almost 30 years. He is the only man that has ever told me he loved me. And I am afraid that I am the main cause of all of our problems. I don't know if I can live with the guilt associated with causing my marriage to fail. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Aherm...you think it hasn't failed already? I don't see any love here. I see need, addiction (to emotional attachment) and a lot of side issues that need professional help. The reason you two are together is because you've become co-dependent and are propping each other up. It's a woefully damaged relationship, and it's ultimately self-destructive....but It isn't love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author panicky Posted December 31, 2007 Author Share Posted December 31, 2007 Can you help me? Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 No. I can offer you my support, opinion, point of view, advice and talk to you. But the only person who can really help you - is You. And my first bit of advice would be for you to find a way of getting yourself out of there, and somewhere safe. I don't know you, I don't know where you live, and I don't know what measures exist where you are, to offer you the support - medical, psychological social or anything - that you need. But there must be something you can do, somewhere you can go, and some concrete help you can get. It may take a little while, but start searching. The important thing is to keep yourself safe. Like I said, in my opinion, this relationship was over - as a loving marriage - a long time ago, so you wouldn't be doing anything more destructive by walking..... Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 I agree with Geishawhelk I never laid hands upon my ex-hex! Although I wanted to! Link to post Share on other sites
CCNWV Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Sounds to me like you're in an abusive relationship. Emotional, if not physical. The clue was how you blame yourself for his actions, not necessarily the shoving. But I can tell you that if he's investing his emotions in another woman and resuming drinking that things will only get worse and you are not in a safe place. His frustration and anger will build. Get out while you can. What happens to him is not going to be your fault. Escaping from a co-dependant relationship is hard. Do you have any family you can go to for a while while you seek some counseling? Link to post Share on other sites
CCNWV Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 I re-read your post and wanted to add something. Your last line about the point in living. If you are having self-destructive thoughts combined with self admitted depression, this is a real warning sign for suicide. While you may not be actively thinking about it. Your words say it's in your mind. Those thoughts can sneak up on you and take hold before you know it, especially when you can't see any hope for the future. Trust me, I've been there. Find a friend, relative, pastor or counselor to talk to today. Someone you can be totally open with who won't judge you. Do this today, make it your New Years resolution. I really believe you will need some counseling before the clouds will part for you. Don't put it off, start healing today. Link to post Share on other sites
Tyra Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Sounds to me like you're in an abusive relationship. Emotional, if not physical. The clue was how you blame yourself for his actions, not necessarily the shoving. But I can tell you that if he's investing his emotions in another woman and resuming drinking that things will only get worse and you are not in a safe place. His frustration and anger will build. Get out while you can. What happens to him is not going to be your fault. Escaping from a co-dependant relationship is hard. Do you have any family you can go to for a while while you seek some counseling? I truly agree!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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