Curious situation...

[mikeraw]

This is a weird situation that I'm in. Not really weird, but curious nonetheless and I need some advice. You can get the gist of it by just reading the headlines in bold.

 

I. MET A GIRL AT A CLUB

 

I went out to a club a few weeks ago. I was tired and drunk and stepped outside for a cigarette. Even though I had zero energy, I went over to a really hot girl standing about 20 ft across from me smoking her own cigarette. I wasn't wasted or anything, just completely uninspired so I didn't even try my usual flirting techniques to get her number... I just asked her name, how she was, if she was having a good nite... etc... She told me she couldn't find her friends. I grabbed her hand and went inside to help her find them. Couldn't find them, I didn't care so we went back outside. She was hot. An 8.5 out of 10. I didn't think I'd get anywhere. I asked for her number... then as she was giving it to me I told her that I'd give her mine instead... Then changed my mind... Then she offered me her business card. I accepted.

 

II. EMAILED 2 WEEKS LATER AND HAD WINE 1 WEEK AFTER THAT

 

I wrote her after 2 weeks asking her out for coffee or wine. She agreed to meet up for a drink. Somehow, things kept comming up for over a week so we kept postponing our meeting. We finally met on a FRI night to have a bottle of wine. I saw her sober and realized she was gorgeous. By this time I was ready to turn up my charm. She kept looking around, drinking her wine relatively fast, which led me to think she wasn't interested in me. I felt I had nothing to lose, so I got a little pushy with my flirting, giving her a hard time about everything, etc. We ended up kissing and making out for a few minutes. I couldn't party that night because my mother was in town. The girl kept telling me to go out with her and her friends, but no way, I'm a momma's boy, first and foremost.

 

III. MET UP WITH HER AND HER FRIENDS A FEW DAYS LATER - CRAZY MONKEY SEX

 

Her office people were having a happy hour and I met up with her and her friends. I charmed them all. Made out like 15 yr olds in her car at the end of the night. She told me she'd come to my house the following night. I had written that off as an alcohol induced promise, but she DID come over to my house the following night, even though I live far from where she does. We had sex all night... literally all night. Next day we both called in to work to say we'd be late. Cooked her breakfast, perfect gentleman, more sex. All good and dandy.

 

IV. AS OF 1/1/08 I HAVEN'T SEEN HER FOR OVER 10 DAYS

 

Even though we used to email each other very frequently throughout the day, and even though the times we have hooked up were during the week, I have not been able to secure another date with her. She tells me that she doesn't like to drink during the week, that she;s a total homebody, etc. Obviously I've hinted that I too like to spend time at home watching TV or whatever, she tells me to be patient, that we'll meet up "soon enough". She has a daughter and I don't want to insist on visiting her unless she invites me so as to not sound as a threat to her or her daughter.

 

V. QUESTION: HOW DO I START A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER?

 

I haven't had a girlfriend for 4 years because of personal choice. Since my last girlfriend I've become very successful in hookin up with women and having sex with them and just amassing a number of booty calls. Lately, I've been considering settling down with a nice decent girl, if I find one.

 

I think I've played all my cards right with this girl and, as far as I can tell, her friends like me. I wasn't even dying to have sex with this girl, but if I'd opted to cuddle or do romantic things with this girl instead of having sex that time she came over to my house, then I think that would've been a turn-off for her.

 

Last time we emailed each other was on 12/27/07 and I have yet to her from her. Should I call her this week? Weekend? Email? Text message? I personally find text messages and emails kinda cowardly and childish and she's 2 years older than me, so I imagine she feels the same. I don't want to appear desperate and I don't want to be seen with other girls by her friends because I'd like a relationship with this one.

 

I dont think avoiding contact with her will works towards my advantage because she hasn't known me long enough to miss me. She hasn't gotten used to me.

 

Anyone have any advice? What bothers me the most is that she won't invite me to her house and I can't insist to go visit her. To me it seems that this was just a one-night thing, but it was drawn out because we communicated way before it happened and continued doing so after it did. I really don't want it to be a one night thing.

 

I thank anyone with advice in advance.

[Lovegod]

IMO, this woman doesn't sound like a good candidate for a LTR. At least not yet. You haven't been dating her for very long, and she doesn't seem to have an incredibly high interest in you. Don't get me wrong, she is interested, but not to the point where she's making excuses and arrangements so she CAN see you.

 

Date her for a bit longer before you try starting a LTR with her.

 

I dont think avoiding contact with her will works towards my advantage because she hasn't known me long enough to miss me. She hasn't gotten used to me.

 

Call her when it's convenient for you. Set up a date when it's convenient for you. Phone games won't get you anywhere.

[mikeraw]

Hahaha, I just found out she took me off her myspace... what happened to me? I actually started liking a chick over a couple of lays...

 

Still, I wonder what I did wrong...

[Mary3]

You s****ed her brains out all night long.....maybe thats all she was looking for . Was it drunken sex ?

[ElvenPriestess]

Hahaha, I just found out she took me off her myspace... what happened to me? I actually started liking a chick over a couple of lays...

 

Still, I wonder what I did wrong...

 

It sounds like there was sex, sex, and sex. Not saying there was nothing else, but perhaps not enough substance? I don't want to sound harsh but I don't think she wants a relationship. Or even steady dating. She just doesn't come across like that's her interest.

 

I wouldn't say you did anything wrong, you went with the flow. There's nothing wrong with that. You two don't want the same thing, that's what I think.

 

And taking you off myspace? Ok, I'm sorry, but childish. No email back, no returned call? Yeah I'm sorry, but sounds like some games played, and you don't need it.

[dunstable]

Sounds like she wanted sex with you, she's had it, she's now interested in similar activities with whichever next guy that will come along, and making polite excuses so you'll stop contacting her.

[bozwa]

It could be the arrogance dripping off every word you say. That gets old pretty quickly.

[mikeraw]

Chill dude.

 

Easy come, easy go. This had just been in the back of my mind.

[Lucasarts]

well i guess you didnt really start at the best place to find a relationship

 

lol clubs and bars are usually for one night stands i find

 

despite this chick being gorgeous, she has a kid, that right there should signify something for you

 

she practically made u her booty call (damn!) and thats all she wanted. Seeing that she "says" shes a "homebody" i dont believe it for a second; she had sex with you and left you for nothing, plus she got a free meal out of it.

 

I'd start looking for something serious where there isnt any alcohol to pump your game, u seem confident enough to start looking at other places (via: work, park, community centers, anywhere where booze isnt there).

[mikeraw]

well i guess you didnt really start at the best place to find a relationship

 

lol clubs and bars are usually for one night stands i find

 

despite this chick being gorgeous, she has a kid, that right there should signify something for you

 

she practically made u her booty call (damn!) and thats all she wanted. Seeing that she "says" shes a "homebody" i dont believe it for a second; she had sex with you and left you for nothing, plus she got a free meal out of it.

 

I'd start looking for something serious where there isnt any alcohol to pump your game, u seem confident enough to start looking at other places (via: work, park, community centers, anywhere where booze isnt there).

 

 

No way, Lucasarts... no free meal from me. I don't even buy chicks drinks at bars. I have THEM buy me drinks. And I know what I'm getting at a bar and a club, and I obviously go to those places for the easy chicks. I don't know what happened to me for a second there. I guess what I wanted was eye candy to have by my side and a hot booty call since my other booty calls are not high on the 1 to 10 scale.

 

I don't even want a serious relationship right now. However, I know there are cool, decent chicks out there, or so they tell me, and every few months I get a nostalgic need for a serious relationship but then I just snap out of it and finish my drink.

 

And when I do feel like being in a relationship, I've started looking in those places you mentioned, thanks BTW.

 

I don't mean to sound defensive, just wanted to clear up certains basics about my hooking up patterns. Hell, I LIKED being used like that. hahah

[gfto]

First of all, excellent work! Nothing wrong a good ol' easy hook-up! I and some of my buddies have seen and experienced this countless times. You meet her, go on a date, go on a second date including sex, then she just seems to go into the witness protection program! Who knows why. She could've just been looking for easy sex. She could be married. The key is to not spend any more of your time wondering about it. That is time that could be spent working on the next girl! I wouldn't even bother contacting her again.