Love me? Love me not?

[witho_t]

i've been with my gf for 3 months now. If not we would have been together for 6 months. I got to know her when my cousin introduced her to me. After a year of knowing each other, we got attached.

 

Half way through the relationship, things starts to change. She doesn't reply most of my messages, hangs up my calls and always rejected for a date out.

 

Exactly on our one month 'anniversary', she asked for a break up saying she was not ready for any relationship. It was the most heartbreaking moment of my life. After talking to her trying to sort things out, i decided to gave her some time and hoping that she'll get back to me when she's ready for a relationship.

 

two days after the break up, i saw her holding hands with her new bf outside a cinema. Out of my anger, i approached both of them. Though i regreted punching the guy. It was then tat i realise she actually loved another guy when she's wif me.

 

I still love her soooo much eventhough it hurts me bad. I waited for her patiently for 2 months and she returned to me. She dumped her bf becoz sha said that she still remember me and its hard for her to forget me.

 

Now we are together again and its already 3 months. She now loves me more than she did before. She introduced me to all her friends and her parents. BUT then, i juz got a message from her saying that she still like this guy whom she admired for 2 years. But she told me history won't repeat itself coz she loves me very much and not him. She said its juz that she likes him.

 

I am devastated! angry! sad! She told me she's trying her best to forget him but its difficult but she will keep on trying. I don't wanna love a gal who loves me and like another guy at the same time! I'm really feeling vulnerable right now. I dunno wat i should do.

 

WILL I JUZ HAF TO WAIT FOR HISTORY TO REPEAT OR WAT?

 

I'm feeling so damn vulnerable! I don't want to lose her coz i love her so much... wat should i do?

 

Should i give her a break and give her time to forget him then come back to me???

[Tony T]

You should give her a permanent break. This girl's a real loser.

 

First, you have to stop going around punching guys out. That shows no class whatsoever. Grow up!!!

 

You'll never get anywhere with this girl because she is confused. Somebody who is really into you won't be telling you she's still interested in somebody else. How romantic can things be with her?

 

Go find a girl who's sole attention is on you and how to make a relationship work with you. A gal who's done the things this girl has done to you is not worth keeping around.

[maskee28]

I agree with Tony. This girl is not being very respectful of your feelings. She seems to be attempting to string you along, and has no interest in being in a committed, long-term relationship with you.

 

The one good (?) thing she did is TELL you of her feelings for this other guy, allowing you to make an informed decision about the relationship. She has come right out and shown you her true colours, rather than sneaking around behind your back.

 

Move on and find a girlfriend who deserves your devotion.

[witho_t]

Firstly, thanks for the strong advice.

 

The hardest thing for me is to ask for a break up becoz i know and i believe that i will regret it and will yearn for her return. Is there any other solutions besides letting her go?

 

She still loves me a lot. I juz came back from meeting her (first time after she confessed) and everything was fine. In fact, she was more loving to me than i expected. Now my feelings for her have changed and i love her more and more.

 

But the guy whom she like is still in my mind. Its difficult to bear but its difficult to let her go too. I'm feeling sooo suicidal. I dunno wats happening to my love life.

 

However, i felt a bit more relieved when she messages me and call me saying that she is sorry. I'm glad BUT she says she needs time to forget him coz she liked him for 2 years. But to hell with tat! She's with me now, she loves me, why must she like another guy!?

 

Sigh

[NEONINK]

She does not love you. It will be okay though, because why on Earth would you want someone that didn't find YOU SPECIAL?

 

The answer of course is, you don't want someone that doesn't want you. Simple enough.

 

She's just one girl. Who cares what she thinks. There's a world full of other girls that would suit you.

 

And please, work on the anger management. Words can wound just as easily as punches. Next time, tell her what you think of her, and walk away with your head held high, a proud man that you will be ok without her.

[yes]

my feeling is that this girl is feeling way too secure about your feelings for her. give her some space, make her wonder if you're as into her as you were before. that'll shift her attention to you... (but dont announce it like "honey, i'm going to give you space yada yada"... just see her less, make it natural).

 

it's ridiculous of her to tell you she likes some other guy unless she wants to break up -... perhaps she enjoys seeing you jealous, i don't know. Or perhaps she's just not ready to be a one-man-woman.

 

just some thoughts,

-yes

[witho_t]

2 days haf passed and things aren't improving that much. She told me that she still likes him, but juz a bit... not as strong as before. Should i trust her? Is she saying this so that i won't leave her? I'm juz so so confused.

 

HELP!!!!

[NEONINK]

Let me tell you what's happening to your love life....

 

It's out of your control. You cannot control another person. All you can control is whether you stay or go.

 

It's take to take back your power from this manipulative and confused girlfriend of yours, and end it with her. Guess who'll be surprise when she sees that you DON'T WANT HER ANYMORE.

 

There are some things worse than being alone. Being with a confused person is one of them.

 

Get real and take your life back from the hands of this near stranger! Get your guy friends and go out this weekend and have a good time.