How do you KNOW that your affair isn't contributing to the decline of their marriage?

[jj2007]

He was in between careers and was not financially in a position to give up all of his belongings to abruptly leave this home because he was caught having an affair he wanted to do the split right not in anger what's so yuk about that? it's smart actually!

 

what's so "yuck" about it is, he made sure HE was taken care of not his W. He wanted you but he used his wife to fall back on and lied to her on top of that. Very, very selfish. I can tell by your posts that he makes sure he is number one. After the newness wears off, I hope you are not left in the dust.

 

Double yuck:sick:

[luvmy2ns]

Well there you have it then you know all to well what it's like to be with someone who does not want to be with you or that you don't want to be with you, **** happens.

 

Just 'cause I'm not married doesn't mean I don't have a loving man. But he wasn't married when I met him either. He actually knows how to spell the word integrity.

 

So funny when someone quotes a teensy little snippet of what you said. Very transparent.

Edited January 3, 2008 by luvmy2ns

[Lizzie60]

do you wanna know the truth the bottom line truth? Because deep down a BS is so hurt by the betrayal they do not want you to end with their partners and actually be happy, that is the bottom line selfish reason why. They just don't want them to be happy with you. My b/fs ex said those very words to him "I don't want you to start a relationship with her if you leave me" bottom line. And the bottom line is who cares what they want, they don't own another person people are not love slaves, they are human beings with their own will and their own right to free choice to feel and do, that initself denotes what a lack of love she had for him. Love does not coerce another human being to pick them. Love let's go because they want what is best for the one they love.

 

especially the bold ... the BS have this idea that they own their partner... sooo bizarre...

 

and the bitterness sometimes gets in the way of rational thinking.. and they wish their partner badluck... sooo childish...

 

if they say they love them.. why would they wish them bad luck.. they should be happy for them..

[sarme]

No matter how you put it... they'll find something...

 

I think he was smart indeed.. like many MM\MW who take their time to do it the right way...

 

I totally agree and respect people like that... He is a good person... no matter what others think... YOU know he's a good man...

 

I know that Lizzie and some people try to bring up details of what I have posted in past thread hoping to corner me in what I am saying I am well aware of what I have posted on this site, and I stand by my words and my decisions it's unfrutante that some people's romatic situations failed and good for me for now, that mine succeeded. All relationships have a shelflife as far as I am concerned so might was well make the best of it while you can and if you feel you are not losing yourself in the situation to a point where you have to compromise your own happiness then more power to ya! I know people criticise your choices a lot but I see happiness and like that you found your own happiness maybe people should learn from you instead of trying to be so jealous of you.

[whichwayisup]

So, my wonder is why or HOW he could want her back.. just my point of view and the questions that come from it... not bashing

 

It's his wife and he loves her. Maybe all this has woken him up and now he wants to make the marriage work, give his best before throwing in the towel. He has that right, just like she has had the right to allow him back in, enough that SHE is willing to try as well, for the kids sake.

[luvmy2ns]

Jealous!? Hee hee heeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sarme]

what's so "yuck" about it is, he made sure HE was taken care of not his W. He wanted you but he used his wife to fall back on and lied to her on top of that. Very, very selfish. I can tell by your posts that he makes sure he is number one. After the newness wears off, I hope you are not left in the dust.

 

Double yuck:sick:

 

Eveyone should put themselves first, that is what allows us to give with no bounds having that love for ourselves first. Spending a life trying to reform someone who didn't have enough repect for you to consider how deeply they were hurting you is putting yourself second if you put yourself second don't expect much from others.

[sarme]

It's his wife and he loves her. Maybe all this has woken him up and now he wants to make the marriage work, give his best before throwing in the towel. He has that right, just like she has had the right to allow him back in, enough that SHE is willing to try as well, for the kids sake.

 

If it takes losing your so called love to another man for 3yrs to awaken that there is something severly wrong with you.

[Lizzie60]

I know that Lizzie and some people try to bring up details of what I have posted in past thread hoping to corner me in what I am saying I am well aware of what I have posted on this site, and I stand by my words and my decisions it's unfrutante that some people's romatic situations failed and good for me for now, that mine succeeded. All relationships have a shelflife as far as I am concerned so might was well make the best of it while you can and if you feel you are not losing yourself in the situation to a point where you have to compromise your own happiness then more power to ya! I know people criticise your choices a lot but I see happiness and like that you found your own happiness maybe people should learn from you instead of trying to be so jealous of you.

 

I know that... and I know who...

 

"Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius" Fulton J. Sheen

[luvmy2ns]

Eveyone should put themselves first

 

PuhlEEEZ never bear children with that attitude!

[luvmy2ns]

If it takes losing your so called love to another man for 3yrs to awaken that there is something severly wrong with you.

 

And if some woman (or man) is staying in a marriage while f'ing someone else for three years, there is something WAY more wrong with them than any psychologist or modern medicine could ever fix.

[whichwayisup]

If it takes losing your so called love to another man for 3yrs to awaken that there is something severly wrong with you.

 

Not when the MW is giving her husband reasons to stay. I mean, Stamps is still hanging on too. His MW is telling him one thing and her husband another. THAT is why all this is happening. Once she decides who it is she wants, the pain of not knowing will end and healing can happen. Atleast for whomever it is she decides to actually break it off with forever.

 

There's something wrong with the MW most of all.

[stampdaddy]

do you wanna know the truth the bottom line truth? Because deep down a BS is so hurt by the betrayal they do not want you to end with their partners and actually be happy, that is the bottom line selfish reason why. They just don't want them to be happy with you. My b/fs ex said those very words to him "I don't want you to start a relationship with her if you leave me" bottom line. And the bottom line is who cares what they want, they don't own another person people are not love slaves, they are human beings with their own will and their own right to free choice to feel and do, that initself denotes what a lack of love she had for him. Love does not coerce another human being to pick them. Love let's go because they want what is best for the one they love.

Yeah, H has said that there was "No Way" he was going to "allow" her to have her "Fairy Tale ending"... So if this is true, when does that feeling start to go away OR get over run with "other feelings" that make H want out?

[jj2007]

Eveyone should put themselves first, that is what allows us to give with no bounds having that love for ourselves first. Spending a life trying to reform someone who didn't have enough repect for you to consider how deeply they were hurting you is putting yourself second if you put yourself second don't expect much from others.

 

ok......

 

There is no point in this anymore. Your man is the most wonderful man in the world and you deserve him! I do hope he doesn't cheat on you because I wouldn't put that pain on even my worst enemy!

 

Happy?

[sarme]

Lastly I would like to add some food for thought on those that think they should save others before they save themselves: When you are on a flight and if you notice in the emergency kit the part that explains how to use the oxygen mask in an event that you are travelling with children tells you to mask yourself first becaues if you are filled with oxygen you will have a better chance at saving your children, your children are powerless without your sound performance to back them up. A partnership is the same if you are trying to save your partner you are depriving good oxygen from yourself and therefore the saving mechanism is futile because you will be conquered before you can save any else.

[whichwayisup]

So if this is true, when does that feeling start to go away OR get over run with "other feelings" that make H want out?

 

When MW decides who it is she wants to end up with. You and him have NO control over this situation unless one of you ends it and lets go...But, so far that hasn't happened.

[luvmy2ns]

ok......

 

There is no point in this anymore. Your man is the most wonderful man in the world and you deserve him! I do hope he doesn't cheat on you because I wouldn't put that pain on even my worst enemy!

 

Happy?

 

You got that right. She definitely deserves him.

[sarme]

ok......

 

There is no point in this anymore. Your man is the most wonderful man in the world and you deserve him! I do hope he doesn't cheat on you because I wouldn't put that pain on even my worst enemy!

 

Happy?

 

Yes he is a wonderful man but then again I am a wonderful woman we deserve each other.

[luvmy2ns]

Lastly I would like to add some food for thought on those that think they should save others before they save themselves: When you are on a flight and if you notice in the emergency kit the part that explains how to use the oxygen mask in an event that you are travelling with children tells you to mask yourself first becaues if you are filled with oxygen you will have a better chance at saving your children, your children are powerless without your sound performance to back them up. A partnership is the same if you are trying to save your partner you are depriving good oxygen from yourself and therefore the saving mechanism is futile because you will be conquered before you can save any else.

 

And if your child was standing on a railroad track and a train was coming and you could possibly push them out of the way in time, would you worry about yourself or take care of your child - FIRST?!

[stampdaddy]

When MW decides who it is she wants to end up with. You and him have NO control over this situation unless one of you ends it and lets go...But, so far that hasn't happened.

I am struggling with this as we speak.. The felling is like since the moment I met her, every single step that I took was "forward" with her, 3 1/2 years is a very long time and your pace picks up, it looks like it's all about to happen and then BAM!! I just ran off of a cliff and I am free falling to God only knows where..... I can't hear anything, I can't feel anything, I don't know anything and I am scared....

[sarme]

Yeah, H has said that there was "No Way" he was going to "allow" her to have her "Fairy Tale ending"... So if this is true, when does that feeling start to go away OR get over run with "other feelings" that make H want out?

 

When your woman stands up for what she wants and proves to him that she is not a comodity that can be used to save or improve anothe man's existence, when she shows him that she is not a love slave. She is a human being with her own will to choose and to decided.

[luvmy2ns]

When your woman stands up for what she wants and proves to him that she is not a comodity that can be used to save or improve anothe man's existence, when she shows him that she is not a love slave. She is a human being with her own will to choose and to decided.

 

She's been getting what she wants for 3 1/2 years - her cake and eat it too.

 

SD, find a GOOD woman, for cryin' in the rain!

[bish]

Stay tuned for more outrageously ridiculous things you've probably never heard before...

 

I'll expect nothing less.

[jj2007]

Lastly I would like to add some food for thought on those that think they should save others before they save themselves: When you are on a flight and if you notice in the emergency kit the part that explains how to use the oxygen mask in an event that you are travelling with children tells you to mask yourself first becaues if you are filled with oxygen you will have a better chance at saving your children, your children are powerless without your sound performance to back them up. A partnership is the same if you are trying to save your partner you are depriving good oxygen from yourself and therefore the saving mechanism is futile because you will be conquered before you can save any else.

 

I would give the mask to my child in a heartbeat while certain others would be fighting over the mask saying, "me first, me first" while the plane is going down.

[sarme]

And if your child was standing on a railroad track and a train was coming and you could possibly push them out of the way in time, would you worry about yourself or take care of your child - FIRST?!

 

That's a dumb example and not comperable to what I was saying because only one person is in danger of course I would push the child first, in order to save him I have to be in full form and then I can proceed to save him, if he is standing on the tracks and I am not I am in full form to give unconditionally and to do what is best for them. The oxygen mask is different you are both about to lose consciousness but by jumping the gun to give oxygen to your child you risk losing your own consciousness therefore leaving absolutely no room to save them. Give yourself oxygen first. Maybe you understand the point better now.