I need some serious help!!

[lil_bad_girl44]

[color=blue][/color]

 

I have a guy friend who I need some serious advice about, because, I think I have pretty much dug myself into a hole. I have been friends with this guy since my 9th grade yr. in high school (so about 51/2 yrs.) and we were a thing off and on and he was always breakin my heart. When he was a senior and I was a junior he got a girlfriend we drifted and then stoppedtalking. They moved in togather for 1 1/2 yrs. and were togather for three and now they are broken up and we started talking again through friends., (she never wanted him taking to me while they were togather.)

We starting our usually ****ed up THING and now im in a mess. We sleep togather some times and in the beginning it was great. He would call me 10 times a day we saw eachother every night. see eachother on lunch breaks, everyone thinks we'd be perfect. But I guess he does't. He says his ex messed him up soooo bad he doesn't want ANYTHING with another girl... and I cant have a boyfriend either. So I thought I t would be cool. But Its not.

See I want no ties to anyone and neither does he, but I know he likes me a lot like I like him. But hes always hooking up with stupid girls. Not exactly right in front of me, but while i am there the girls will be too and he'll ignore me then hook up with them while Im gone. Then he;ll tell me he didn't. He'll tell me how much He likes me one minute then disrespect me the next. I guess he trying to pimp it or fill a void, or....I dont know. Everyone says we're ment to be and he needs to grow up and I need to tell him how I feel, but I do and its just a retarded situation. HHHEEELLLPPP!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!?

[yes]

1 - how do you know for sure he hooks up with these girls after you leave?

 

2 - for how long have they been broken up? are you sure you're not the rebound? did he have time to get over her (that was a pretty long r/s he had with her!)

 

3 - why don't you create some space between the two of you, and watch his reaction. if he cares about you, he'll either ask what happened or will try to reduce the space - in both cases, you slowly reduce the space, and say - nothing's happened =) (If he doesn't care, on the other hand, he'll let you drift off easily, and then you'll be free to move on...)

 

thats my view,

-yes

[quankanne]

frankly, this guy sounds like a prime jackass, and not really worth wasting your time over.

 

you say he doesn't want another girl, but hooks up with them anyway ... all the while YOU can't have a boyfriend? If you're buying the crap people tell about this being the kind of "love" that's meant to be, you're selling yourself short. A good relationship needs to be grounded in mutual respect and trust ... and it doesn't sound like you have either with this guy, even though you have love-feelings for him.

 

go and find another guy to invest in a relationship with. If in five and a half years you haven't gotten it "right" with this turkey, it doesn't sound like you ever will.

[lil_bad_girl44]

Well, he told other people he did hook up with these girls, he just lies to me.

 

Him and his ex-girlfriend have been broken up for months now (a while) and.....yes youre right. both people who responded. I guess if in 5 yrs. we haven't got it right, I guess we never will.

 

I dont want a boyfriend, I just want him to give me a fair chance, I know I KNOW we have something weird. A connection. I just dont know what it is. I told him I dont want to be friends anymore and now hes all upset. HES A FREAK!@! AAARRRGGG!!

 

But thank you for your input. I appreciate it!! If you have anymore input. Let me know!! PLEEEEASE!! (:

[quankanne]

let him stamp his feet and throw the biggest hissy fit ever imagined ... you deserve better than what he's willing to give, and if he's honest with himself, he shouldn't expect you to stick around.

 

A 'connection' is not a substitute for respect and trust in a relationship, it's just a chemical attraction. Just because you've got that spark doesn't mean that it's always necessarily good for you!

[lil_bad_girl]

you are absolutely right. ya know, I guess I thought that if I toughed it out things would work out, but I am better then that. You are right. No one deserves to have to "togh" things out when it comes to something that should be precious and meaningful. So thank you for helping me come to grips. If he doesn't want me tons of other guys do. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!