Author Alpine123 Posted February 13, 2008 Author Share Posted February 13, 2008 Smiley--- RO is restaining order. She through one at me after she found out I put a tracker in her car. it's in my thread, back a few. I'm trying to reframe from thinking that getting my wife back is possible but it does linger in my head. -----I have a question--- When my W left she never took any pics or albums of us and was wondering would it be wise to box them up and send them all off to her work. I have taken them off the walls and put them in box in the garage to help the whatever but I was just wondering if this is wise. I fel it would be my last statement?? Link to post Share on other sites
smileysmile Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 When I split up with my 1st wife (Yes was M before to) I boxed all our pics up in a shoe box and gave it to her. I wouldn't trash them. If she left you then yes you should. It hurts to much for me to keep hold of them. I was in a 12 yr R with my 1st so lots of memories. Funnily enough, my current R was less than 3 yrs and I had more pics taken because of digital cameras. Took quite a few compared to my 1st M. You have to focus. DB is an option. I would recommend the 2 books advertised. You have to decide if you want to fight for her. She have to apply a few rules. I slipped up with yet another text was but I don't care. I haven't used bad language. I was just showing her she can't walk all over me. She is probably jealous with the R I have with my D seeing she does the most of the caring for her. Women are like that. There is not a sweet tone with her anymore and that saddens me. Hard to explain on here but I seriously need to find somebody else now. Somebody I can have fun with and who will love me. I feel like crying now but I have to stay sane for my D. It is hard sometimes because I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together and so did she. She blames my behaviour and putting her in the position she is. I can't do anything else. I need to focus and stay calm. Happy and upbeat. To look after myself. I have already had a 36 year old saying it is her loss and she fancies me like mad lol She lives local. Strange really, the things she says to me are what my STBXW thoughts were not so long ago lol How things change eh Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpine123 Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 You have to focus. DB is an option. Your kidding right? I figured I would be hammered if I thought that web site had any hope for me. Link to post Share on other sites
smileysmile Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 what do you mean "hammered?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpine123 Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 Just the fact that its been like 8 weeks since I heard or seen my W and with all the info I've recieved from family,friends, counselor, LS about NC and giving her space, and if she left with NC from me why would I want her back. It's just a confusing process! I typed an e-mail today to her , being sincere and corgile but ended up deleting it. I think I've come to grips that if she really missed me or even wanted to talk to me she would find a way---you know what I mean. I suppose it's just coming to reality that this is really over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpine123 Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 Are you thinking of this? I have been on DB. Are we mad to try and get our wives back? Smiley --I think we are mad! it's been too long with no help from the other side. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpine123 Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 I have one more question for anyone who could get back to me today before COB. I wanted to e-mail my W and just ask a simple question---"is this what you want or is there a chance?" Just not sure under my circumsatnce if I should just maintain the NC etc... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 You need to go back and re-read this thread.. Your wife has a restraining order on you ( and rightfully so ) and you both have attorneys.. If I were you the only person I would truly listen to at this point is my attorney.. Link to post Share on other sites
smileysmile Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 hmmm my ex doesn't contact me. Although 3 weeks ago I dropped our D back at her house and she had been a little sarcie towards me as I commented on her parking her car close to the garage door and that wasn't like her. She asked what I was implying and I said nothing. She parked closer so her folks could park in fron of her car the next day. She was cheesed off with this. I went out that Saturday night and had 2 missed calls on my phone. I rang her before going into the cinema and she said she left a message on my home phone. She rang twice as I found out later. Anyway, she asked me where I was? On a date hmmmmm?? I said I was by myself and why are you asking you don't tell me anything and you are with **** anyway. She said I am not with anybody. Then I mentioned I was seeing a counsellor she said that was wonderful, shame you didn't see one when we were together. I broke the call off and later checked my home phone. She rang to applogize for the way she spoke earlier because I had implyed the reason why she parked the car close to the garage door. Then briefly wanted to clarify picking up our D on the Monday. Told me to ring her. I think she asked me to ring her to prove she had nobody with her lol Whats she like. So yes she RANG me and and my mobile. Why not just leave it be with the home phone. Found out later she rang my mobile to.. see if I was back dating after me going on "whoa is me!" Meaning that I have been remorseful and repentant of what things I had done in our M. 10 days later I found OM behind her bedroom door! (read my thread). "just a friend" lol I live 10 mins away from ex and D. Not sure about you. You have kids together for that "connection?" I know what you mean. BUT until your D is final then keep DBing if you still love her. Then that might be the time to give up. Apart from her ringing me that time she doesn't contact me. I see her when I pick our D up. OM is a distraction and I guess she is the way she is 'cos she is trying to deal with her pain. Seeing me/talking to me (the cause of her pain) isn't what she wants as it reminds her. Link to post Share on other sites
smileysmile Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 Alpine..if you are looking for closure then email it to her. I would stay NC until she contacts you. It is all according to why you split. Whose fault it was etc. You know the answers. Coming here and DBing and reading books will help you remain focussed. I am not ready for an emotional relationship. Buy who knows what is around the corner. I have to help myself through reading and seeing my counsellor. I have to apply the rules when I talk or see my ex. I have to make changes for myself and hope she sees them. Maybe now the summer is coming and her anger melts she would like to take our D out for the day as mum and dad. Who knows Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpine123 Posted February 15, 2008 Author Share Posted February 15, 2008 Attny called today about RO hearing scheduled for tuesday. He also informed me that the D petition is ready to be served , just waiting for my order. I guess this is it. I told him to call me fri to get an answer so I could think about it, but I'm not sure what there is to think about. 8 weeks!!! That's along time for your W to just write you off without an explanation. I have read my thread more times than you can imagine filtering through all the advice trying to make a sound decision. I guess there's only really one to be made. Link to post Share on other sites
Land_Of_The_Lost Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 (edited) Alpine, I am so sorry for your situation. I registered at LS just so I could reply. Please tell us you did what you needed to do and had the papers served? There is so much good advice here. I really hope you followed through for your sake. Edited February 20, 2008 by Land_Of_The_Lost Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I wouldnt say jack crap to her. after being falsely accused and have a RO served on you ontop of everything that she's doing. Including the divorce. I would go permanently black. That is all the closure I need. If you open yourself up to her again Alpine, your only asking to be hurt. Ignore her and stay NC. Let her come to you, and then when she comes, slam the door in her damn face! lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpine123 Posted February 21, 2008 Author Share Posted February 21, 2008 Chrome --good to hear from you. Doing well and staying strong with NC and so on. Met with attorney today and we are moving forward with the D. I've been focusing on getting my self back. As far as Art critic thinking I deserved the RO may be you should read the thread again! Thank you for all the great advice I've recieved here --without the good support here this would have been a lot tougher! Again thank you for all that replied. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Stay with the NC ~ she's not worth your investment of time, energy, effort nor money? Go forward with going through the "Big "D" ~ and I don't mean Dallas! As far as the RO? Blow it off? Its nothing! Were I married and suspected the wife cheating on me? I'd slap a GPS on her car in a heartbeat! Especially if it was my car! Keylogger, the works! Whenever I get down and out with "single life?" I just watch: "Cheaters" "The Jerry Springer Show" "DivorceCourt" "Cops" "My Big Redneck Wedding" All of which tend to snatch me back into reality! Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 "My Big Redneck Wedding" ??? ROFLMAO! what the F is that? Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 "My Big Redneck Wedding" ??? ROFLMAO! what the F is that? Better twenty years or more in Tet than that level of "Hell" Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Another mindless CMT (Country Music Television) reality show... If only the brides looked as good in their Daisy Dukes as Catherine Bach did LOL... Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Another mindless CMT (Country Music Television) reality show... If only the brides looked as good in their Daisy Dukes as Catherine Bach did LOL... Let me guess, Catherine was the original Daisy duke huh? I thought jessica simpson did a great job but she needs more ass! lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Your wife has a restraining order on you ( and rightfully so ) and you both have attorneys.. According to the OP, the basis of the proposed restraining order was physical abuse. Assuming we take him at his word that he didn't touch her, that's not "rightful." Nonetheless, that's essentially a fine point; I still agree with your conclusion: don't talk to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Land_Of_The_Lost Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Alpine, you don't/didn't have to deliver the divorce papers youself, do you? Link to post Share on other sites
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