My story (pretty interesting stuff)...

[watchconcierge]

First off... I'm a little bit famous. Thought you'd like to know.

 

Ok... Here goes...

 

A year ago in October my wife told me about this guy who worked with her dad that she thought I'd like to meet. Her dad is a realtor and this guy is a realtor. His cubicle was about 10 feet from her dad's office.

 

I ended up meeting him at the Halloween party. She told me that she had helped him decorate his cubicle. I didn't think much of it. I was very secure in our relationship. Then when I met him... Tall, dark, handsome... A little bit of suspicion creeped in, but nothing major.

 

Then about 10 days later... On the four year anniversary of our first date, she went out on a 'girls night.'

 

I never stressed about her going out with friends and this night was no different. She said she'd be home around 11:00. She tried to call me around 11:15, but I was tired and didn't answer the phone. She got home 3 1/2 hours late. She slept in our then 1 year old's room that night by herself.

 

The next morning, I asked her how her night was. She said it was fine. I asked her if any guys bought her drinks -- just joking... She said that this guy that I mentioned earlier showed up at the bars and was hanging out with them and bought them a few drinks.

 

I became somewhat suspicious and checked the phone records the next day. She had called this guy well after 2am. He missed the call and he called her back.

 

 

Wow! That was upsetting, but I didn't say anything. That was Sunday. Over the next five days (until Friday), I was watching her behavior (very suspicious) and checking the phone records. They exchanged 43 text messages that week -- one night even up until 11:30 while she decided to sleep in our daughter's room. My wife doesn't work, and she suddenly was getting all made up to go in to "help her dad" during the day.

 

That next Friday, I confronted her. And she lied about so many different aspects. For instance, I asked her why she called him the first time. She said that she wanted to make sure that all of her friends were getting home okay. I asked her why she hadn't called any of her other friends... She didn't have a reasonable explanation. I asked her how she got this guy's phone number. She said that one of her friends typed it into her phone without saving it so she could immediately call him to make sure he was getting home okay. But when I told her that she called that friend 15 minutes prior to calling him that I concluded that she could not have been with her friend when she called him. She admitted that she lied. She had his phone number programmed under the name "A" in her phone. We did the whole "let's call your friends to verify your story" game. She was given explicit instructions not to lead her friends. She, of course, "got nervous" and told her friends what to say. lol

 

I lit her up and called her every name in the book. I have never been so vulgar. I'm definitely not proud of it.

 

I booked us tickets to Puerto Vallarta for 10 days and we went. I screamed at her so much down there and had sex with her like 4 times a day. It seemed pretty therapeutic. She swore nothing happened with the guy physically and swore that they were only friends.

 

Nevertheless... I was betrayed. She hid a relationship of some sort with another man.

 

From that point on, if she would go out to the bars, I would self medicate with aspirin and benadryl to tranquilize myself because I would get shaky and couldn't eat and sleep. It was horrible.

 

I believe that she permanently broke off contact with him.

 

In December, she started working for a homebuilder. She hadn't had a job in a few years and it has been her goal to work in real estate. By the way, she's only 23 years old right now and I'm 35.

 

Then in March... A new guy started working at the model home... At that point, I was now a suspicious guy, so I researched him a little... tall, dark, handsome...

 

On the first day, he had her help him build a myspace page. She asked me to help her. I got mad... I felt like that was a guy tactic to get a girl to do a project... One of those mating rituals...

 

They began texting and talking on the phone, but they worked together a little bit...

 

Then in April, she had a work birthday party for her. I couldn't make it. He was there... They were texting the next day about how drunk they were. Yep... I read text messages. lol

 

She invited him to come to her regular b-day party the next night. I was to be out of town. My plans changed and I went out with her. About 9:30, I asked her when we were going to pick up our daughter. She said that she had made arrangements to leave her at a friend's over night.

 

So... my wife who thought I was going to be out of town, made overnight arrangments for our child (for the first time by the way) and invited this guy out. He didn't show up by the way. She could have given him a heads up or maybe he had other plans. I don't know. Any way... I felt re-betrayed and left. She reluctantly came home that night and was very drunk.

 

The next day, I said some horrible things to her that I had never said. Major put downs about physical flaws she has. Absolutely disgusting stuff that should never be said to anybody. I'm not violent, but if I had beaten her silly, the wounds wouldn't have been as deep as my words. I was horrible.

 

Well... About a month later, I finally met this guy... No wedding ring (apparently he NEVER wears it), he seemed embarrassed that he had a child on the way... and I was getting ready to go to Tampa and he told me about all of the hot chicks I would be seeing in Tampa. Suspect!

 

Around this time, I did a charity donation at a fashion show and the emcee girl who is pretty well known locally obviously was interested in me. I decided to flirt with her a little. And we exchanged something like 500 text messages and lots of phone calls over about a 2 week period. I fully disclosed this from the beginning to my wife. I was playing a game. I was rubbing it in her face.

 

When I went to Tampa, they had a 27 minute phone call. I called him and told him to stop calling and texting her. I told her the same. They apparently curtailed their discussions and then she only communicated with him on her work cell.

 

Around this time, I did a charity donation at a fashion show and the emcee girl who is pretty well known locally obviously was interested in me. I decided to flirt with her a little. And we exchanged something like 500 text messages and lots of phone calls over about a 2 week period. I fully disclosed this from the beginning to my wife. I was playing a game. I was rubbing it in her face.

 

Then in late May, she decided that she wanted to do a threesome with another guy. I decided that maybe she needs to be with other guys in a controlled situation so she won't seek it without my knowledge which could lead to emotional attachment and heartache for me. We signed up for a website and did it with a black guy in early June. Bad move. She had three orgasms within 2 1/2 hours and he had 4. I could barely perform. His manhood was twice as big as mine. I was so nervous. I still have issues from this!!! Not kidding, but lol nonetheless. I have pictures and videos from the event, though.

 

A little after that, a major celeb friend of mine who she hadn't met and I were joking and I said she would give him oral sex. The jokes ended up turning into him buying her a ticket to L.A. and she went. And she says that they did some things but didn't have intercourse.

 

So now we get up to almost a year after the first issue... Halloween parties downtown. She's out with friends. I can't get ahold of her but get ahold of a friend of hers who says that she's extremely drunk. I go down to see if I can get her home. She can hardly talk, can hardly stand... I get a ticket for parking my Land Rover in the middle of a busy street. They apparently were getting ready to tow it. She refused to come home. Her friend started saying stuff about how she got married too young and she needs to be able to go out to the bars and that she's very social and needs this.

 

I went home. She didn't.

 

She had plans a few days later to go out with the girls again. I packed up my Land Rover with whatever I could and I left. I went over to that girl's house after I packed up. I had stayed in touch with her... maybe texting or talking for a couple of minutes once a month.

 

We began seeing each other once a week for a few weeks, but I'm a bit of a mess, so it's going really slow.

 

I've been crashing on my mom's couch for about 2 months, now.

 

The day after I left, I went to a steak place to get carryout for me and my mom. I met an 18 year old there. She was flirting with me. The day before Thanksgiving, I went back. She got my number. We texted that night and on Thanksgiving quite a bit and on Friday she started sending me naked pictures over the phone. So we went to a movie that night and left within like 20 minutes. Went to the parking lot. Got into my car. I had sex with her.

 

My wife was checking the phone records. I told her about this girl, but not that we had gone out. She texted the girl and told her I have kids and am still married and was even previously divorced... The girl flipped out and told her that we had sex. lol

 

Nice.

 

So that was the last time I saw her. I wasn't interested any way. Then a model friend of mine who is a co-host of a tv show (I helped her get the job) was on myspace and I saw she was online so I told her what was up. She told me she had a friend... This girl is the most beautiful girl I've ever been with. Just amazing. BUT She's a psycho who thought I was her golden ticket and who wanted me to move in to her one bedroom apartment within less than two weeks. She even hid my socks so I wouldn't leave when I didn't want to stay the night... Not once... not twice... but three times in one week. So I broke it off with her. She so bitter. haha

 

So now I'm only really talking with the girl who was the emcee at the fashion show charity event.

 

And as far as communication... My wife and talked a TON. Texted a TON. But then I read the comments here in another thread and haven't talked to her for 3 1/2 days now. I haven't been responding to her attempts at contact. And don't get me wrong.... She doesn't want me back.

 

But... on msn messenger and gmail chat, we were playing an unspoken game yesterday... We were online and weren't talking... she tried to talk to me, but I wouldn't. Then we kept changing our status... busy, in a call, away, etc. And we never have done that. It was kind of a little dance. Kind of a game.

 

Then I had the first bad dream last night about her being with somebody else... So I decided to block her on those messaging programs. I started thinking that I would begin looking at my computer wondering when she would log in and what she was doing if she weren't logged in... That wouldn't be good.

 

So I'm just over here healing. We now have attorneys. Our situation is pretty amicable. It's messed up, though. I really feel that her betrayal a little over a year ago set this all in motion. I can land chicks, so I'm not concerned about that. I just wish that we were still together. I wish that things were fixed. But I know they won't be.

 

 

Oh and another thing... My little sister who is a year older than my wife used to tell me that I needed to leave her because she was so unmotivated and didn't work and stuff. Then there was a falling out with my sister's husband and there was a big wall. But my wife had my sister's gmail password and was looking at her gmails and telling me all of the bad things my sis was saying about me. And this made me more angry with my sister.

 

Oh... And one time before that, my sister's husband and I masturbated until orgasm in front of my wife. She was into it.

 

So... NOW my sister and my wife are absolute best friends. And that hurts. And I could mess that up by telling my sis that my wife was spying on her email and had this huge secret about watching her husband masturbate. I feel like I won't say anything most of the time, but sometimes the emotion gets high and I think about it.

 

Okay... Enough rambling for now... Looking forward to reading your comments.

[Mz. Pixie]

WOW, first of all you're 35 and married to a 23 year old. She is immature and

has no idea about what marriage is suposed to be like. Did you not think of that?

 

Also, both of you are cheating and you have given her permission to sleep with other men because of the threesome and everything else.

 

What is really the question?? The reason you came here?

[watchconcierge]

I know my message didn't sound like it, but I am in pain constantly. I just started the no communication thing posted in another thread. It's been 3 1/2 days. We've been apart for 2 months.

 

I never cheated on her when we were together. Although I did talk to that emcee girl as a way of lashing out.

 

As far as I'm concerned, when you split up and are no longer living together and you agree that you won't be getting back together, then you're not cheating if you hook up with other people.

 

I was trying to simply convey an interesting story that included some very wrong choices with the hope that people can learn from my mistakes.

 

Oh... And I'm pretty darned immature myself. Unfortunately.

 

I've just been lurking for a few days after I found that thread about no contact and thought I'd chime in. Hope I didn't offend.

[Touche]

How messed up. I'd like to know what your question is also. By the way, you sound very, very abusive. Are you controlling too? Why do you choose women (girls really) who are so much younger than yourself.

 

(And what does being famous have to do with any of this? I don't see the relevance.)

 

And no offense but you say in your title, "pretty interesting stuff." Hmmm...I don't know. Your story is not that much different than many others on here. You chose the wrong person to be your wife. Your sister is disloyal.

 

Why are you still even in contact with your wife? And you don't even mention your child in all of this. You seem more concerned about all the drama and the "dance" you two are playing on line.

 

You guys really need to grow up. Don't you want a normal life without all the drama? Or is that what "famous' people need to have to feel alive?

[cj1988]

Well well, you have gotten yourself in a mess. I cannot believe what I just read, hell I thought my marriage was a god awful mess.....you and I should write a book.

 

First of all, you NEVER share someone you love with someone else, BIG NO ! Second, you should have never let her get away with all that she did in the beginning. Honey, you will find by reading a lot of posts, when your gut feels it, it is happening. Now, what do need help with exactly...moving on without her or did you just need to vent? Trust me it helps.....

 

By the way, NEVER marry or date someone that young, you are only asking for trouble. Been there....I was 35 went out with a 6 foot 8 inch 21 year old and he was obsessed ! It was a trip I never want to take again !

[blind_otter]

Yeah I am curious as well...what was the point of your post? Just to tell your story? It did sound pretty sordid and messy.

[watchconcierge]

I don't want drama!!! I came off sounding like a real jerk, didn't I? Sorry about that. I'm just a guy in pain and I probably spun my words to make myself sound cool. I feel like such a failure.

[blind_otter]

Well I really think you did marry this woman at too young an age. I got married when I was 21 and it was a disaster. I think I'll tell my child, when they are of age, that they shouldn't get married until they are in their late 20s.

[cj1988]

Look, you did not sound like a jerk.....a little messed up, but we are all here for the same reason, to helo deal with the pain.....so you are hurting because you love and miss your wife, right?

 

First off, she is way too young and she will do this again....you need to start thinking about YOU and what you really see in your future....can you really be with someone that you have seen f--- someone else in front of you? You will see that forever now !

[watchconcierge]

I definitely needed to vent. It felt therapeutic to write all of that down. I sometimes have thought about everything I wrote there and envisioned myself telling it to somebody. Remember that I'm in pain. Ok... and the truth is that I suffer from anxiety attacks. I've actually gone to the hospital like 6-7 times in my adult life for strokes or heart attacks before a doctor finally told me it was anxiety attacks.

 

I have to breathe in bags, take hot showers and take hot baths every single day. I take sleeping aids.

 

But a good friend who went through something similar has provided encouraging words. She has told me to try to live by myself and learn to like myself and heal from this.

 

So that's what I'm doing. Sorry that I sound like a big weirdo.

[Touche]

I don't want drama!!! I came off sounding like a real jerk, didn't I? Sorry about that. I'm just a guy in pain and I probably spun my words to make myself sound cool. I feel like such a failure.

 

Well, you can turn things around. If you're a jerk, you can stop. If you've had too much drama in the past, it doesn't mean that you need to have your life continue that way. You can turn your life around. It's up to you. We can all reinvent ourselves (called growing) if we really want to.

 

I'm sorry for your pain. Divorce sucks. Been there. I know. But life can actually get better again. Just get it off your chest and stay away from her. And don't forget about your child. Be a man. Grow up.

[watchconcierge]

I didn't know any better. And you couldn't have convinced me that she was too young at the time. Live and learn. In talking with friends, I think that next time I will be sure that the next person will be somebody who has some life experience and has gone through the bar scene, etc.

[cj1988]

Ok, you have something to do with GOLF? My son plays for UGA......

[cj1988]

Now you are talking.....you need someone that has a job and has built a life before you and you will see a BIG difference in how things work.

 

I know it is weird to be alone, I am doing it to for the first time and I am so looking forward to it and meeting new people. I am in Atlanta, so I am SURE I will meet alot of interesting people here.

 

You need to go out and do the same !

[watchconcierge]

So that everybody knows... I'm the furthest thing from being a control freak. The furthest. I can't even control pets by keeping them inside. And they invariably run away (cats). Maybe I don't assert enough control and let myself get pushed around in personal life too much until I'm fed up.

 

I tend to give people things so they will like me. Material things, freedom, etc. I can't stand not being liked. It's actually a serious issue. I attract gold diggers and those who want to take advantage. Then they get ugly after getting cut off. Wish I could fix that.

[cj1988]

Ok, then go some place where you are NOT known and find someone that wants or needs nothing from you, BUT YOU ! You know all woman are not a like....I own both houses and all the assets we have and need nothing but someone that loves ME for me too ! So, I know what you mean !

[watchconcierge]

I totally love and miss my wife. But she acted like she wanted to be single. When I couldn't take it anymore, I left. Then she refused attempts at reconciliation...

 

Oh... forgot to add... The 2nd guy... The one that doesn't wear his wedding ring... 3 days after I left, we promised each other that we wouldn't be seeing other people and that we would work things out... Then I went to the house to get some things and read her work phone... She wrote a text to this guy... "That makes me so hot you horny boy." Then she saw me and made me give her the phone so I didn't see the rest of it. She wrote that message that morning after we promised each other we would try the previous night and the next morning. Sad. :-(

[watchconcierge]

That's what this one friend says...

She says that I need to meet people without telling them who I am and without revealing what I do. But that's part of my "game." That's what I have that really sets me apart from the pack. I don't think I can get somebody as attractive if I don't reveal that stuff. It's a tough decision.

[cj1988]

Dude, she is messed up. Let it go and run Forest run......you are seeing that she does not love you like you love her.....she needs to grow up and get a life. I have a male friend that has been off and on with his wife for 5 years now. She was young and just not ready for what he was ready for....he took her back so many times after she had man after man in her bed....he has now moved on and is very happy with a nice woman older than him and she adores him !

[OldEurope]

Dear Concierge,

 

 

Welcome, and believe me, no story here is so outrageous that we haven't hear "it all" before (though some of your details are...well...not terribly conventional to say the least...)

 

What you do is you go. Separate. Let time and space and clearing the air work their wonders, but maintain distance. If you cannot move too far away, you are going to have to move somewhere for the time being where you can be alone and mentally sort yourself out. So I would say---not Mom's couch if you can have it.

 

I do not see why being famous necessarily has to mean a degenerate life. I just don't. I do not know what celebs may or may not be lurking here, but some of us here are well known in our fields or have established a name, and like and enjoy society. Whatever one's achievements, it does not mean having to go off the moral deep end. So whether it is low self esteem, narcissism, the need for attention, the love of novelty or all of the above from which you are, somewhere, suffering---do get a grip. These wild stories such as yours are ultimately banal because "we" read them every day (or see them every day) in the trash press. Go someplace where you can have some peace, go readjust your moral compass, set your values aright, and then continue on in your human relationships. Nothing, absolutely nothing comes out well in a sloppy life of sloppy ethics.

 

You might also do something about the company you keep and, as another poster wrote here, please no sharing.

 

The problem is you my dear. Clear out, clean up, and then see where you want to go from there. You have a lot of thinking to do.

 

xo

OE

[watchconcierge]

I actually did play competitive amateur golf, but I'm a no name in that industry. How did you make that guess??

[cj1988]

That is your problem you are not being YOU. Who cares what you do that is not who you are, right? Hell I am a good looking woman and do not pretend to be more than what I really am, a working mother of a college student and proud to be JUST that. I am not rich by no means, not poor either.....My family is well off, but I do not tell anyone anymore because of what you are going through.

 

In high school the only reason guys went out with me is because of my dad and what he had.....I was not that hot.....then when I grew up and could get what I wanted by being me and my looks improved a lot, it was much easier to not throw the family name in to get attention, are you getting it?

[cj1988]

I googled it of course I am like that ! I talk to a lot of men alone on this website (privately) now, to get a womans opinion alone (some stuff they ask is way to private for the world to view. So, I try to look up people sometimes that are known. I am talking to another now that is known like you !

[watchconcierge]

Believe me... NO SHARING will every occur again. That was a horrible idea.

 

Mom's couch is actually a bit of a sanctuary. I won't take a bedroom, because it's temporary and I don't want to feel like I moved in with my mom.

 

She cooks for me, is supportive, minds her own business. And is letting me heal. I can't be alone. I'm like Jerry McGuire. It is so hard for me to be alone with my thoughts. I gain tremendous focus on things. So I can't live alone right now.

 

But at least I didn't move in with that one girl. And I'm here. And I'm trying to be by myself. I'm trying to heal.

 

Thanks for everybody's comments so far. Wow.

[cj1988]

I have asked some woman and men to privately talk.....it helps if there are things that are too close to you to vent out loud.......some people you will see on here give excellent advice and you will soon be doing the same for others as they have for you, it is an awesome website that could save lives sometimes and more ! It is great you will see !