cj1988 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 You need to be alone and do not move in with anyone. I am moving to my lake house alone, no roomates or men ! My son came home for the holidays, he is the only one I want with me now. I look forward to being with me and then dating again ! It is exciting to me ! I have been asked out a lot lately and it is fun ! I cannot do it yet, still married, but it feels so good to know after all these years I still have it ! You will see, it will take you by surprise to see all that you have to offer, YOU not what people see on TV or whatever, just little old YOU ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author watchconcierge Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 I didn't even think about people here googling my user name. Hope my wife doesn't google that name! Fortunately, when I just googled it, I didn't see anything about me. This is a private name and email address that I've maintained for something like 10 years and don't use it very often. Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 I agree no sharing again! My H wanted to do that and I was not for it at all. I have been with woman before, but I was single ! I was not in a commited relationship. You cannot share the one you love with anyone and it remain the same again.....do not get involved so fast again, take a break and do something, go some place and have fun ! Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 So, you see where I got GOLF? My son attend UGA, go Bulldogs ! He is on teh golf team now.....you see what makes me smile, my baby ! Well, he is not a baby anymore, but he is to me....when I went through the bull with my husband, he was my wall, he held me up and reminded me who I was and what I was.....he looked at it as a way for me to get away from someone that did not deserve me in the first place and he was right ! Trust me looks are a bad thing sometimes. we were Ken and Barbie, but it was all fake....looks good on the outside, nightmare on the inside ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author watchconcierge Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 That's what I'm gonna try to do. Be by myself. Build my independence. Build my self value, again. That's what I'm gonna TRY to do. Hope I don't jump in to something. But I haven't thus far and I've had chances. Link to post Share on other sites
Author watchconcierge Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 Yeah, BUT... I know myself... I HAVE to be attracted to the person's physical appearance first. Then I get to know the person. Then if that's cool, it goes further. But if the looks aren't there... There's no chance. Don't mean to sound shallow. That's just part of who I am. Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Ok, when you feel yourself doing that, get on line and start tyoing here....it helps......one guy calls me when he wants to call his EX, that way he gets to talk it out ( I talk him out of it everytime) and we laugh so he can get past it. I am not going to lie, it is not easy, probably the hardest thing you will have to do, but do not jump back into something now....give it and you time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author watchconcierge Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 Thanks for the advice and support everybody! Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Look I do understand, I am that way too. I have to be attracted to them (looks) or I will not even try. It is not shallow, just being honest. My husband is gorgeous, always has been, but I see him differently now....that is what I mean, he is ugly on the inside to me now, so the looks are not so good now. We can both get what we want in people (not be conceited) that is not the issue. But, you get what you settle for.....if I met the most gorgeous man in the planet and he is a f---- jerk, I am out of there. Looks then I will check it out and see.....a lot of people are like that! But you need to get away from the young hotties.....there are a lot of older more experienced in life woman than you know.....why do you think YOUNG guys like older woman. When I visit my son, his friends love me and I think it is hilarious, my son does not I do not do anything, too young, but it feels good to know I can still hang with the college chics ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author watchconcierge Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 Yeah, but... the calendar model who wanted me to move in with her... I've never met a needier, more possessive person in my life... And she's 28! That just freaked me out. I can't believe that somebody could want to move so fast. I thought when I heard that she was 28 and saw how hot she was that this was going to be an awesome thing. Nope. Not even close. By trying too hard to reel me in, she drove me so far away... So age isn't the only thing that matters... wisdom, experience, mental stability... Those are all important factors, too imho. Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Now you are getting it, 28 is not OLD. She is just another insecure child looking for someone to make her feel good. You see it is not about YOU it was about WHO YOU ARE to her. She saw you as the famous YOU, not you ! It is a major turn off that is how that 21 year old BOY was with me, obsessed from the beginning, freaked me out too. The other person somewhat famous I talk to is a nice man, I did not ask who he was, did not care, he needed my help and I needed his as a mans opinion. We are not here to reel you in so to speak, we are here to help you stand on your own two feer again get yourself straight ! Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Look, if people know you're famous you're in a bad spot for golddiggers and the like. I know someone who is pretty famous and I can say he's had that problem in his life- not just from romantic partners but from family members too. Everyone wants a piece. It's sad. Many times the people you meet are in the business themselves so you do tend to date those types of people. Many of them end up being vain and pretty emotionally unavailable. IMO you need some time alone to love yourself. Get to some individual counseling to help you focus on yourself and quit trying to define who you are by who you are with. You do seem to have the Jerry McGuire complex- he'd never been alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Kasan Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 I gotta tell you wc that I am really having a hard time mustering up a lot of sympathy for your situation. I just can't get over all this superficial crap that you keep talking about. How is being famous, having a calendar model want you to move in with her, and having hot women panting over you have any bearing on all of this? Or maybe it does, and this was a problem with your marriage? You are like some of us here.....you got married, had a child, and are now separated...and speaking of your child, how is your child doing with all this? I would have never known from your original post how devastated your were about your situation, until you posted about your anxiety attacks, and to tell you the truth, I'm not sure what kind of advice you are looking for. Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Look, My son is very handsome and dated JUST the pretty girls all through school.....the cheerleaders etc....he learned real quick that those are the ones that made him nuts, played games....now he dates very cute and some real pretty older girls. We talk alot and he is learning early. He saud he will NEVER marry a real beauty, she will be attractive, but not the type he had before. If he is 19 and has learned that, imagine what you can do.....some of the men I have met over the last month are attractive, some are not. I am learning about people now and what makes them tick. It is fun ! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 I gotta tell you wc that I am really having a hard time mustering up a lot of sympathy for your situation. I just can't get over all this superficial crap that you keep talking about. How is being famous, having a calendar model want you to move in with her, and having hot women panting over you have any bearing on all of this? Or maybe it does, and this was a problem with your marriage? You are like some of us here.....you got married, had a child, and are now separated...and speaking of your child, how is your child doing with all this? I would have never known from your original post how devastated your were about your situation, until you posted about your anxiety attacks, and to tell you the truth, I'm not sure what kind of advice you are looking for. I completely agree with this. I don't get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author watchconcierge Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 Sorry, Trialbyfire... I made some MAJOR mistakes. And now I'm in pain and looking to talk about my situation. Maybe I don't deserve anybody's sympathy... Sorry Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 I just think he is confused right now, rejection, denial of what she was when he saw the signs, you cannot fault him for that....plus how many famous people do you see or hear about that do not have the mentality as this one....that is all he knows right now and wants, If I am reading this correctly to move away from that type of behaviour and or life. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 What it is, is that you're completely caught up in all the superficial stuff about your life..the fame, the money, your looks, etc. etc. You're a boy who is trying to mature into a man. You never did answer my question about your child. Where are your priorities? Even some of us peons who aren't famous have to worry about whether people are dating us for the "right" reason. You just have to keep your wits about you. You have to pay attention to a person's history and who they had relationships before. You will have to be very careful...like any of us...if you don't want to be taken advantage of. Granted, you probably have more of a challenge ahead due to the fame, but still, you can do this. Just use your head (you know which one.) You made a mistake with the marriage. Doesn't mean you have to make another one. Make up your mind that the next time it will be right. And yes, look past the superficial, just like you'd want a woman to do where you're concerned. Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 No one will offer you sympathy here so to speak, just support. We feel sorry for you and anyone in pain, but we are here to help each other, like a club......you will see.....just be YOU and be honest. No one is attacking you at all, just to the point.....that is what you get here, HONEST real people putting it on line, so you can see what is in your face. Link to post Share on other sites
Author watchconcierge Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 I am SOOOO confused right now. I am a mess. And I don't want to repeat mistakes that I've made in the past. I found this place looking for advice to help me cope. I seriously didn't mean to offend anybody. Just wanted to tell the whole story... all the details... so that you'd know where I'm coming from. Link to post Share on other sites
Kasan Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Sorry, Trialbyfire... I made some MAJOR mistakes. And now I'm in pain and looking to talk about my situation. Maybe I don't deserve anybody's sympathy... Sorry Okay, so what were your major mistakes, and how can we help you? Link to post Share on other sites
PinkRibbon Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 I feel like I just stepped in to a b grade movie. My suggestion is get a woman and quit playing around with the little girls. Gees a man of your age running with a 18 year old GIRL. I don't care who you are and what you do have some dignity and respect for yourself and others around you. You have shown in your post a blatant disregard for anything other than getting laid. I am sorry but I don't agree with anything you have done and you saying that age and wisdom are important....where have you shown that? Stop the playing around, zip your pants and think about your future as a man and what you are going to do to get yourself back on track. Link to post Share on other sites
Author watchconcierge Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 My daughter is doing well. I see her and we have a great relationship. I will say that I know everybody will tell me it's wrong, but I have been having a very difficult time taking her Thursday night thru Sunday morning, bc that enables easier all nighters for the ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author watchconcierge Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 Major mistakes? 3some, letting her go to LA, playing games, hooking up with girls right after we split... Some pretty immature things. Don't know how you can help. And those are probably just a few of the major mistakes I've made. Link to post Share on other sites
cj1988 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 I know what you are saying about the all nighters, someone I work with is doing the same thing, FORGET about what SHE is doing, YOUR daughter is the most important thing in your life, make HER your focus now, it will help ! Link to post Share on other sites
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