After begging he is ignoring me....

[sharon1970]

Hi Everyone, i'm so happy i found this site. Its been so helpful in dealing with my situation.

 

I have reattached a post from a month ago. Just to give a short recap, my ex and i have now been broken up for a little over 2 months: We dated for 2 years but it was very turbulent with lots of break ups (most break ups because a commitment to marriage issues). The last time we came back together it last 3 weeks. During this time he told me he loved me more than anyone before and that he is soooo in love with me - then the break up.

 

During the first 6 weeks we went though alot of back and forth emails (you can read below) and then i bumped into him one night. He seemed really happy to see me and confessed he had been a wreck. His birthday was a week after we broke up and he expressed how upset he was that i had not called him or did anything for his birthday (i sent him a short email though). He told me i had missed many things in his life and that it was very sad for him. We spoke for 2 hours and by the end of the night i told him i would like to go with him to see his new niece...he agreed and seemed sad about it. However on my way home i sent him a text telling him i love him and he basically wrote back saying that this should have occured 5 weeks ago not now and that he will not go back to a relationship that keeps proving not to work. He said he loves me so much, loves me to death but he won't come back.

 

Well basically i went a bit crazy and showed up at his place, begged, called etc., for a week (the holidays were very difficult) and he maintained his postion that he doesn't want to get back. I even sent him a little love note on New year and didn't get a response till 2 days later telling me he wants to return some more of my things. I replied by telling him its strange to be interacting with him like this but it seems like he wants his space. I haven't heard back from him.

 

My assesement is that he is trying to be logical and move on with his life but he still loves me and is still angry at me for it not working out in his favour (fighting with him etc.,) But it also seems like very much a power struggle and i LOST. I was in a much stronger position till i bumped into him. Now the begging etc., has only pushed him away further and i feel completely humiliated at this point. I of course have no choice but to terminate all contact but does anyone feel there is any hope here?

 

Thnx for reading.

 

 

 

Previous post:

 

Hi, my ex have been broken up now for a little over a month. We were dating for 2 years on and off untill we had a huge fight and i walked out (he basically kicked me out). I tried contacting him 2 days later to discuss but he said he didn't want to fight anymore and i didn't pursue it further. The first contact we had was 2 weeks later when he sent me my things and wrote me a beautiful good bye letter.

 

Despite a turbulent 2 years together where we had broken up like 4 times over insecurities and stonewalling tactics (we are both very stubborn), we very much in love. The last few months have been even worse, mostly due to the fact that he wasn't ready to get married. He does have a fear of commitment and the fact that we have been fighting incessantly only increased his fears. 4 months ago i broke up with him and after a week he told me he made a mistake and wanted to get married, but then we continued fighting and he changed his mind. Of course he made me a proposal that we live together and have a child (not an idea i would even entertain). More or less the last break up was a result of all the tension created around this issue.

 

In the last month we have emailed eachother, mostly rehashing our issues and not getting anywhere. We basically told eachother its over, i'm moving on etc etc. Then last week i initiated an email to him telling him i miss him and if he feels the same. He replied using some very intense words describing how he loves me and misses me. He also mentioned that he has tried reaching out to me but that i wasn't responding to him (his version of reaching out is simply telling me some news about his family). He also expressed being upset that i am moving on with my life and looking for other partners after i told him he's the one. I believe he saw my profile on a dating site. I replied asking to see him and he didn't answer me for 2 days. So i wrote him an email telling him i didn't believe he was sincere about reaching out to me and if he wanted me back that he would have not been so cryptic and ambiguous about it. I told him words mean nothing that i need it supported by deeds. I also confessed i had put a profile online but have taken it down as i'm not ready. i told him i missed him and wish that things were different. I haven't heard back now for 5 days and don't think i will.

 

I do want him back but i feel after what he put me through and not wanting to get married that the ball is in his court. Does anyone believe that there could still be a chance? My worst fear is that he will start dating someone and forget about me (if he hasn't already). Sorry for the long description any advise would be really appreciated.

[SeraBella]

what do you mean by most breakups were a commitment to marriage issues?

[s_n_d]

I think theres ALWAYS hope for any relationship to work if both people are willing to make the effort.

He, along with MY ex are the kind of guys who dont believe in second chances. I too begged him for a long time to reconsider his decision(i hate to admit it because it was so childish to beg) and ofcourse he ignored me as well and said we cannot work things out.

We broke up over a few pointless arguments. And a little clingyness...