horny or in love??

[blue flower]

Hey all, I need some advices, please. There's this guy I met about three years ago in my cousin's wedding( with this guy's aunt). He seemed really nice but since we met he tried to hold me hand and things like that, it was kind of weird since we had never met before. Well, I wasn't really attracted to him or anything, but we kept on e mailing each other(because we dont live in the same city). About the forth time we saw each other we got kind of phisical, not sex, but, well, you know. Now I saw him again and he seemed ok, just ok. he used to text me and tell me how pretty i am and how I'm special and all, but I dont know what to do now.

I dont want to keep on being his "free" because I dont feel good donig that, but I cant formalize a relationship because I dont believe in distance relationships. How can I know if he's only in for getting some or if he really likes me?

[Blue Eyed Brain]

I don't know how old you both are, but lots of men retract from women when they feel an overwhelming connection or feelings for someone.

 

You can't worry about the "what if's or how is he feeling." You don't know. Just wait for him to make the next move. It maybe a day, a week, whatever. When this happens to me, I act cordial but towards the end of the convo I let the person know that I don't wait around for people because life is too short to wait for a person to start to care.

 

If he doesn't respond - then just move on without him. Cut your loss at this point.

[LakesideDream]

Argh... I'm an old guy, 57. I don't get horney anymore UNLESS I am in love!

[blue flower]

hey, thaks for your advice. Well, we are both 18 years old. And well, there´s obviously attraction between us, but how can I know if we like each other more than just physically? we only see each other once or twice a year so appearences do mean a lot, but I wouldn´t want to ask him directly is he likes me or not because that may freak him out; so what are some clues I could analyze to know is he really likes me?

 

LakesideDream, it is nice you oly feel horny when in love, even though you say it like a bad thing, you avoid a lot of trouble. I think you are actually lucky. =)

[LakesideDream]

hey, thaks for your advice. Well, we are both 18 years old. And well, there´s obviously attraction between us, but how can I know if we like each other more than just physically? we only see each other once or twice a year so appearences do mean a lot, but I wouldn´t want to ask him directly is he likes me or not because that may freak him out; so what are some clues I could analyze to know is he really likes me?

 

LakesideDream, it is nice you oly feel horny when in love, even though you say it like a bad thing, you avoid a lot of trouble. I think you are actually lucky. =)

 

Blue, you mis-understood my statement. I only feel "horny" when I'm in love" was a declaration of freedom. I have reached a point in life where sexual attraction is a component of "love". I am no longer driven by a chemical or mental need to procreate. Whether this is wisdom, maturity, or just a change in hormonal levels is moot. I am happy that I have reached this point in life.

 

That's not to say that I don't notice, or appreciate beauty, I do. The feelings a beautiful woman inspires are no longer lust or longing, the feelings are more like wonder, or entertaining. Seeing a beautiful 30 year old woman makes me smile.

 

I am emotionally and financially independant. I don't need anybody to share my physical problems, or financial problems with. I don't need a "partner" to help me maintain my lifestyle.

 

And... without a doubt, I would be much happier living with (hopefully married to) a woman I was in love with. What I am not yet willing to do is make a fool of myself to find that "someone". I figure I'll have a couple of chances in the years to come. I hope I am wise enough to recognize them when they appear.