Why Me Posted June 13, 2003 Share Posted June 13, 2003 Hey guys..went out with a guy last friday night..had a great time and thought he liked me too (posted previously about this). Guy called a few days later (thought that was a good sign). So here's the problem: this guy is acting weird. He isn't being as talkative anymore when we catch each other on line, he is saying he has to go bed early (which is a definite CHANGE in attitude cuz he used to sit on the phone/computer with me much later) and is saying stupid things. For example, he tells me that he should just go to clubs and pick up girls on the weekend since he has no entertainment in his life or possibly even visit a hooker. He is talking stupid and I know him for a long time now so I definately know this isn't his character. It's really weird, he can tell I get pissed off when he says this stuff but he says it anyways. It's like he doesn't care that he's giving me the wrong impression about him--he likes having me think this stuff. He hasn't asked me out on a second "date" yet either. He is being hot and cold. One minute I think he's all into me and the next he is being a loser. In person he is cool, behind his computer he gets all these balls to say crap. I'm tired of his crap though--when he's being nice I really like him but when he gets like this I can't stand him. I guess I'm just confused. I don't know if this guy likes me or if he's trying to turn me off of him. No guy would act like this with a girl he was trying to impress, would he? The last thing I want to do is waste my time with a guy who isn't interested in me sincerely. I could not imagine coming out and asking him this so I wonder if there is any way to find out for sure. I'm positive he knows I'm interested in him so I don't know what else to say about this. When does a girl know it's time to move on and forget about a guy whom she THOUGHT was great. And, how does she make it known to him that she won't play his game--that she IS interested in him but will not be taken for a fool? Thx:-) Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted June 13, 2003 Share Posted June 13, 2003 here's an idea: don't talk to him via IM! Let him call you or take you out, instead. When you're at least hearing the voice, it's much easier to have some real communication happening. IMing sux - been there, done that, believe me. good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 13, 2003 Share Posted June 13, 2003 No guy would act like this with a girl he was trying to impress, would he? No. And, how does she make it known to him that she won't play his game--that she IS interested in him but will not be taken for a fool? She stops contacting him. She stops IMing him. When he says stupid things, she nicely tells him she has to go or changes the subject. She does not get pissed off. She just ignores him because he is stupid. She gets on with her busy, busy life, dates other men, goes to the gym, hangs out with her friends, and focuses on herself. Look, he knows you are interested. Now you need to find out if he is. You do this by letting him contact you and ask you out for a date. If he doesn't do this, then you just move on and find another guy who will! Don't pursue him at all. Just let him figure out what his deal his on his own. Link to post Share on other sites
Why Me? Posted June 13, 2003 Share Posted June 13, 2003 Clia, thanks for you advice. I intend to put that plan into action as of this instant. However, I wanted to tell you that in the past when I've backed off in this manner it has indeed made him chase after me more. In fact, I think that's why he took the initiative to ask me out on our date last week anyways. BUT once he thinks he "has" me and we go back to "normal" this crap starts all over again. Is seems like a cycle that is never going to end. It sometimes seems like he just likes the chase. I often feel like the only way to keep this guy interested is to play these games with him. Does this sound normal to you? And if he ever does ask me out again, should I go? Link to post Share on other sites
Baubles Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 you didn't mention how long you knew him...were you friends b4 you went out...it would appear he's seeing you as just a friend now (by bringing up seeing other women- in jest or not)- if you've been giving the impression your interested. I've never had a guy I went out w/ joke about seeing other women- ever ask me out again! this happens, the worst thing you can do is push it. back off, stop im'ing let him call, etc. He may change his mind. Link to post Share on other sites
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