TheFaithfulWife Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I just wanted to let those in relationships with married men to consider the harm they can do to a family. My friends husband had decided to leave her and her five children for his mistress after 23 years of marriage. They did not fight and seemed to have a great relationship and she was not even aware of his plans to leave. He left three months ago and filed for divorce last month and got real nasty to her. She was confused and hurt not knowing what she had done to incure his wrath. This morning she drove to the OW's apartment where her husband was, pulled her car behind his, attached a flex hose to her tailpipe with a pipeclamp. She pulled the hose through the back window of her van and placed a clear garbage bag over her head with the hose inside and started the car. They found her when he went out to head to work. I got the call from her husband to please pick up the kids from her house and keep them for this next week. I have not told these children what has happened and I am finding it very hard to keep it together. When he told me what she had done he seemed to be in shock, he kept stopping in the middle of a sentence. It did not seem to be the problem with the OW, I could hear her in the background stating Linda must have been crazy and how stupid to kill herself over a divorce. I needed to get this out without anger because all I feel right now is a deep sadness and I know if I waited I would become angry and not say what I meant to say. Linda just wasn't strong enough to go on by herself, she had never lived alone and she told me it was her biggest fear. Her mother is dying and could not offer her support and I tried to do the best I could. She seemed to be okay when I spoke to her yesterday and if I had known what she planned I would have called someone. She seemed happier yesterday then I had seen her in months. I have been where she is at, but my husband and I reconciled four years ago. TFW Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I'm so sorry to hear this. RIP. Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Tragic. Five children! I hope what's left of their family sees much happier days. And what a position to put you in. My thoughts are with you. Link to post Share on other sites
PoshPrincess Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 TFW, that is SO sad. The poor woman must have felt desperate to do something so drastic, especially leaving her kids behind. God knows how the news will affect them. I would imagine the H will be taking a lot of the blame for some time (if they know the full story, that is). I have to say the OW sounds pretty insenstive! I hope you're doing okay under the circumstances. (((((hugs))))) Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 its sad, and hind sight is twenty-twenty, but there was no way for you to know she was going to kill herself. You shouldnt be angry with her for killing herself, remember the good times and the way she lived, dont let the way she died taint your feelings Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 That is tragic, and yet not so uncommon. Thanks for posting this, all be it painful story. I have known a couple of betrayed spouses that in dealing with the pain have contemplated/wished (one did) such a thing. A tragic end. *nods head* I hope her soul finds peace. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 That is the sadest thing I've herd in a while I would hope it would open a few minds up around here but I some how dout it. How sad for those children they are the real victims of it all. What nerve to call a troubled hurt women crazy after her death like that. I'm a firm beliver in what goes around comes around and she sounds like a real catch I hope there happy togher! I'm very sorry for your loss. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I feel terrible for those children. I hope they will be ok in time. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Oh hon I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. It is a wonderful thing you are doing, looking after their children. The OW sounds like she is both very immature and perhaps unable to accept she may have had a hand in this, but perhaps the woman's husband can put aside his issues with his ex-wife to look after his children. I hope what is left of that family can be there for each other, and I hope you don't feel any responsibility, you never could have known what she was going to do. (((hugs))) Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I'm so sorry this has happened. How unfortunate for you to be left in the position of keeping the children and having to "keep it together." Peace to all of you. I wish I had something more to offer, I truly do. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 how old r the 5 children of this 23 year marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
PoshPrincess Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 its sad, and hind sight is twenty-twenty, but there was no way for you to know she was going to kill herself. You shouldnt be angry with her for killing herself, remember the good times and the way she lived, dont let the way she died taint your feelings I may have read Faithful Wife's post wrong but I assumed she was angry at the H for the A, not at her friend. Speaking for myself (and this has been discussed here before), I am definitely not of the opinion that someone is selfish for committing suicide. When someone does such a thing they are not in their right frame of mind and can see no other way out. It's a sad situation all round, including for the H who, as wrong as he was for cheating, quite simply fell in love with someone else. He didn't know that his actions would have such dire consequences. Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellnoFire Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I'm sure the most common reason for suicide is dealing with relationships and/or money. Well, they are in the top tier anyways. I'm so so so sorry about your friend and I hope at least she is in peace and hopefully there is an afterlife where she can live on. I know what it's like to live in torment and emotional pain and have came close myself. I don't wish that pain onto anybody!!! The sack of crap aka her ex probably doesn't give too much of a damn ("at least we dont have to deal with her anymore"), except that now he will be the full care-giver to the five kids. Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Wow this is so tragic and her situation is identical to your own!! 5 kids your H left 3 months ago..you must relate to her story on a very profound level!! so do you now have 10 kids to take care of? on top of very thing else, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll say a prayer for her family, this is so sad. Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 the H who, as wrong as he was for cheating, quite simply fell in love with someone else. He didn't know that his actions would have such dire consequences. It is a very real possibility. Such a betrayl should be considered so seriously, just because of something like this. This will never, ever go away for anyone involved, especially those kids. My hope is that this story does wake some people up. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Wow, I actually want to cry. Just imagine those kids will be haunted forever, they gonna say the dad, You drove mom to her death literally. and it was true. All he had to do was be faithful but he couldnt keep it in his pants! This is so messed up!!! I can feel their pain writing across this computer right now! Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Wow, I actually want to cry. Just imagine those kids will be haunted forever, they gonna say the dad, You drove mom to her death literally. and it was true. All he had to do was be faithful but he couldnt keep it in his pants! This is so messed up!!! I can feel their pain writing across this computer right now! It will only mess the kids up more if they blame him Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 It will only mess the kids up more if they blame him Eventually the truth will come out and eventually they will. Come on. let's be real we cant sugar coat the truth. The father had a mistress, and under duress the moms took her own life after finally reaching her breaking point. Even in most news articles they dont gloss over the truth. The kids will come to their own conclusions, they will be mixed but I know one of them will blame their father. No matter how else the future turns out. Just know that. Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I hope everyone here on LS reads this, because nobody realizes such a consequence to an action as this can happen until it's too late. I'm so sorry PP, and my thoughts are with you and especially with the children. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 TFW, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. My deepest condolences go out to you and her family. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Eventually the truth will come out and eventually they will. Come on. let's be real we cant sugar coat the truth. The father had a mistress, and under duress the moms took her own life after finally reaching her breaking point. Even in most news articles they dont gloss over the truth. The kids will come to their own conclusions, they will be mixed but I know one of them will blame their father. No matter how else the future turns out. Just know that. We don't even know the full story. I've here about this kind of stuff alot, and it could have gone down alot worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Your absolutely right KMT. The wife could have waited until her husband came out, popped her husband right in his noodle. Got that OW popped a cap in her ass and then took a slug to her own damn self. Usually that kinds of what happens when triangles tragically end. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 We don't even know the full story. I've here about this kind of stuff alot, and it could have gone down alot worse. There are 5 kids with out a mother because their father drove her to suicide how much worse can it get honestly? Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Even worse are the stories when the kids witness such things. That leaves problems mentally and emotionally even worse than it just happening, versus seeing it. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Your absolutely right KMT. The wife could have waited until her husband came out, popped her husband right in his noodle. Got that OW popped a cap in her ass and then took a slug to her own damn self. Usually that kinds of what happens when triangles tragically end. Ok I may risk being flamed here but that would have been more so poetic justice in a way maybe but no the kids do need at least one parent I supose Link to post Share on other sites
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