OWoman Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 How would one find the time to think "Let me post this on LS ...." in the middle of dealing with the death of a friend & taking care of the children of this friend? Now it's leaving room for doubt in my mind...... People respond to extreme stress and trauma in different ways. One woman who'd been raped spent the day repacking her cupboards to try to recover some control over her life. The defence lawyer on the other hand used that to argue she wasn't upset by it, so it wasn't rape. Despite the throttle marks around her throat and the knife wounds in her arm. It's quite possible - unlikely as it may appear to some - that the OP needed some time out and space from the shock of the news and, as a former poster who MAY have experienced support and caring from LS, chose to return here to post before facing the fall-out. Or she may have been in shock, on auto-pilot, but still capable of word-perfect posts in that state. Hey, I've had conversations while fast asleep that were as lucid as many I've had fully awake, it's possible. Maybe it's not for real, but it COULD BE. I'd rather be guilty of being taken for a fool, than for laughing off a genuine reaching out and slamming a door in someone's face. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I agree TF, I agree. JackJack, before you jump to conclusions, here's a post from the OP that explains how the deceased and the OP met. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1476665&postcount=37 Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 People respond to extreme stress and trauma in different ways. One woman who'd been raped spent the day repacking her cupboards to try to recover some control over her life. The defence lawyer on the other hand used that to argue she wasn't upset by it, so it wasn't rape. Despite the throttle marks around her throat and the knife wounds in her arm. It's quite possible - unlikely as it may appear to some - that the OP needed some time out and space from the shock of the news and, as a former poster who MAY have experienced support and caring from LS, chose to return here to post before facing the fall-out. Or she may have been in shock, on auto-pilot, but still capable of word-perfect posts in that state. Hey, I've had conversations while fast asleep that were as lucid as many I've had fully awake, it's possible. Maybe it's not for real, but it COULD BE. I'd rather be guilty of being taken for a fool, than for laughing off a genuine reaching out and slamming a door in someone's face. I don't know for sure its real or not. It very well could be. My concern now is the similarities of this post and another one that was made by the OP, makes me think its posssibly about her and not a friend. Although I may be wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 To the OP TheFaithfulWife. I have a question for you. You said your friend and h had 5 kids. I read a post of yours from 2003, you also have 5 kids. You also stated your h was cheating on you then. This is not about you and you're not planning on doing this are you? Just wondering since you your friend had 5 kids and so do you. JJ OP explained she and her friend had met at some support group for parents of large families and got on because of the similarity of their situations. She posted the ages of her kids - older - and the friend's. It's one of the earlier posts in the thread. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 JackJack, before you jump to conclusions, here's a post from the OP that explains how the deceased and the OP met. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1476665&postcount=37 sorry Tbf was responding to an earlier post and missed that you'd already posted this. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 JackJack, before you jump to conclusions, here's a post from the OP that explains how the deceased and the OP met. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1476665&postcount=37 I'm not jumping to conclusions really. I'm trying to understand what is going on. It might be about herself it might be about her friend, either way its not good. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I agree TF, I agree. It makes me feel like I should run out of work & do something but have no idea what to do. My heart is racing & I'm choked up for the OP thinking it could be her who is contemplating this & in the same breath, feeling this way for someone else who could've already done it. We all read it & can't do anything to help her. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 sorry Tbf was responding to an earlier post and missed that you'd already posted this. No probs. I do the same all the time. I'm not jumping to conclusions really. I'm trying to understand what is going on. It might be about herself it might be about her friend, either way its not good. I think it's a little of both, in that a similar situation with tragic results will dig up a whole mess of emotions. It hits you where it hurts most. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 No probs. I do the same all the time. I think it's a little of both, in that a similar situation with tragic results will dig up a whole mess of emotions. It hits you where it hurts most. I understand. I read the link you posted. Weird, she was supposed to keep their kids for a week back when she made a post in 2003 and now got to keep them again today for a week. She has 5 kids her friend has 5 kids. NOw I think its either her, or her friend or maybe she is the mistress? Hell I don't know. A mystery for sure. I need a drink, bbl. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 It leaves me with a very unsettled feeling. Me, too! I had all the same thoughts.. the similarities, the finding time to post amidst all the tragic events, the recent events in the OP's life. I wish there were something we could do! I hope I am so wrong about this. Link to post Share on other sites
sarme Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 It makes me feel like I should run out of work & do something but have no idea what to do. My heart is racing & I'm choked up for the OP thinking it could be her who is contemplating this & in the same breath, feeling this way for someone else who could've already done it. We all read it & can't do anything to help her. Yeah and that is precisely what a suicidal person is feeling when they are overwhelmed with helplesness over a situation. If she is contemplating doing this to herself, the whole point of this post is to try to transfer that angst and uneasiness on to other random people, this is how she feels the betrayal is making her feel so that others can experience her level of pain. It's not fair because no one can do anything for her, that's the reality of suicide, NO one can do anything for the person contemplating it only they can. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 If she is contemplating doing this to herself, the whole point of this post is to try to transfer that angst and uneasiness on to other randomg people, this is how she feels the betrayal is making her feel so that others can experience her level of pain. It's not fair because no one can do anything for her Wow. Just - wow. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 It makes me feel like I should run out of work & do something but have no idea what to do. My heart is racing & I'm choked up for the OP thinking it could be her who is contemplating this & in the same breath, feeling this way for someone else who could've already done it. We all read it & can't do anything to help her. OK I'm going to put on my bitter voice here and say... that if it was the OP putting out a "cry for help" that she was considering this to "test the water" or whatever, the response generated would almost certainly have plunged her into the very pit of despair! Instead of responding to the "cry", we've squabbled splendidly about blame and personality issues and done our level best to guilt trip whoever we don't agree with - and yes, guilty as charged and possibly a bit more since I think I started the original t/j taking issue with CB's post. If it was a troll post, :D no harm done? I'm not so sure about that even, because perhaps someone else reading over this post with that on their mind is going to get completely overwhelmed, wracked with guilt and driven to something irrational, who knows! If we want to help, as TF suggests, I suppose a good starting place is stepping back a bit from ourselves, and focusing more on them? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Yeah and that is precisely what a suicidal person is feeling when they are overwhelmed with helplesness over a situation. If she is contemplating doing this to herself, the whole point of this post is to try to transfer that angst and uneasiness on to other random people, this is how she feels the betrayal is making her feel so that others can experience her level of pain. It's not fair because no one can do anything for her, that's the reality of suicide, NO one can do anything for the person contemplating it only they can. Your assumptions are just that...assumptions. It's my understanding that LS is here for support of people in need. Apparently that's not your take on LS. Maybe you could explain how your feelings of being threatened, trumps anyone else's need for support? Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Would she perhaps PM some of her friends in here for support? Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 It always amuses me when an original poster's thread is accused of being untruthful or a ruse of some sort. I guess when you 'assume' such things you can deflect away the possiblity that something so terrible could touch your world, and force you to account for your part in it. Telling. I don't think what was posted is that unlikely. She found a couple of hours of down time around midnight, probably when all 10 kids were finally settled in and logged on to decompress from her terrible (understatement) day. Just as I am sure she is not on to 'defend' herself because she has 10 kids and enough real drama happening in her life that might take priority. Affairs and the fallout of such shatter lives. Link to post Share on other sites
sarme Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Your assumptions are just that...assumptions. It's my understanding that LS is here for support of people in need. Apparently that's not your take on LS. Maybe you could explain how your feelings of being threatened, trumps anyone else's need for support? Listen we are all assuming here the oiriginal post was not a post taken out in any form of help or advice anything beyond that has been sheer speculation so spare me on your assesments because everything that has been discussed beyond the first post is based on speculation. IF this woman is in need then why is she posting a story about a W committing suicide on a forum sepcifically created for the OP, what kind of support does she wish to get here? Having 30 different forums to post on she comes here for support? I have my take on this post and I am entitled to have my take on it and if you don't like it then I guess you will just have to look the other way. Suicide is a horrible selfish act and no amount of pitty of what leads a person to commit suicide is going to make it a good choice in my eyes or in the eyes of those who love the person in question and if this woman IS contemplating something as heinous as that she need to understand that this is the lowes thing you can to to others. I've had two people in different points of my life commit suicide one failed the other succeeded and it was the most horrific thing you can do to someone, and there is NO excuse for it. If you think it's cold to not want to coddle someone thinking suicide is ok, then you have no clue what it is like to lose someone to suicide NO CLUE. Link to post Share on other sites
THE THRONE Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 thats not for her to think about, police do that. but the way she did it is usualy suicide not murder What do you mean thats not for her to think about? She is the one posting about her friend killing herself, and you say that isn't for her to think about? When ANYONE who is married or in a relationship dies the surviving party is the first to be questioned. How does she know the guy didn't actually kill her himself and rig everything to look as if she did commit suicide? Link to post Share on other sites
PLAYBRAT Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Ok I understand sort of WHY the OP posted here...but if they wanted "support" for the suicide why didn't they post under "suicide" or a forum where they would generate more sympathetic replies? As it is in this forum, affairs tend to get a LOT of negative attention, so what kind of support are they REALLY getting by saying someone killed themselves over one? I don't know. It just seems odd to me... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 (edited) Listen we are all assuming here the oiriginal post was not a post taken out in any form of help or advice anything beyond that has been sheer speculation so spare me on your assesments because everything that has been discussed beyond the first post is based on speculation. IF this woman is in need then why is she posting a story about a W committing suicide on a forum sepcifically created for the OP, what kind of support does she wish to get here? Having 30 different forums to post on she comes here for support? I have my take on this post and I am entitled to have my take on it and if you don't like it then I guess you will just have to look the other way. Suicide is a horrible selfish act and no amount of pitty of what leads a person to commit suicide is going to make it a good choice in my eyes or in the eyes of those who love the person in question and if this woman IS contemplating something as heinous as that she need to understand that this is the lowes thing you can to to others. I've had two people in different points of my life commit suicide one failed the other succeeded and it was the most horrific thing you can do to someone, and there is NO excuse for it. If you think it's cold to not want to coddle someone thinking suicide is ok, then you have no clue what it is like to lose someone to suicide NO CLUE. Once again sarme, how do your feelings trump someone else's need for support? Edited January 4, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Well, I've pm'd TFW asking her to please contact me or another member here to let us know that she is ok. In the meantime, prayers will do, I have to believe. And I'll check in from home over the weekend. TF Link to post Share on other sites
sarme Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Ok I understand sort of WHY the OP posted here...but if they wanted "support" for the suicide why didn't they post under "suicide" or a forum where they would generate more sympathetic replies? As it is in this forum, affairs tend to get a LOT of negative attention, so what kind of support are they REALLY getting by saying someone killed themselves over one? Exactly that's what I am seeing. All I see is a person who posted a story looking for a reaction. Well here are the reactions. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Well, I've pm'd TFW asking her to please contact me or another member here to let us know that she is ok. In the meantime, prayers will do, I have to believe. And I'll check in from home over the weekend. TF Good idea TF. Let's hope she comes back to at least tell people she's okay and handling the situation by not internalizing it. I can't imagine how big a person she is to help take care of 5 more children who aren't her real responsibility. This must feel like she's having her guts torn out, since the situation is so similar to her own, except that in this situation, the ending was so tragic. Link to post Share on other sites
PLAYBRAT Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I understand what you're saying Sarme..... Of course it is JUST speculation because there is no way to actually verify the story. Without that we are ALL jumping to conclusions about the truth or validity of it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Having 30 different forums to post on she comes here for support? She's been a member of LS since 2003 and used this place for support in the past. Who knows? Maybe she's been reading and not posting for a long time and just felt the need to share this sad situation. Hopefully she will post back later tonight again, seeing as the time of the post was late at night, early morning hours. Link to post Share on other sites
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