May be we (I and My EX-boyfrind) see next week. but I am not sure should I or??

[BABY88]

Hi. I borke up with him.

but we email each other.( but I didn't call him,also he didn't)

I wrote to him. Because I really sad. In my life terrible happen to me. And I really think about everything.

And really I have tried to become more strong person. Also I really tried to do by myself. but when tragity happen, I need someone who share something with me. So I worte to him.

 

And two days later, he gave me Email. And he said " I just read Email, I didn't tell you couldn't call me. ( you told me not to call) I still care about you.

If you need to talk to me, just call."

 

And I thought for few hours, and I asked him " Have you wanted to talk to me since we broke up?" and his answer is " Yes"

 

I thought I still love him, even though he hurted me.

 

So I said " if it is possible I want to talk to you face to face, If it's impossible It's okay"

 

And his answer is " Yes that's ok."

 

So maybe we will meet next week.

but I am not sure should I see him or not.

 

I don't know my feeling. I know I still love him and I care about him. right now I don't want to back together with him. Because I want to concerate on school and work. But I thought this is kind of chance. If I miss this chance, I might regret that'S why I wanted to see him for talk. this time, I WON'T say " I want to get back with you."

 

what do you think about this? Give me your advice please^^

[Tony T]

You say you don't love him but I think you're lying to yourself.

 

Anyway, go ahead and see him but expect that the pain you feel will be intensified for a while. Unless he wants to get back together with you, there is nothing whatsoever to be gained by meeting with him.

 

If you get together and he has no desire to try again, cease all contact with him and heal from the relationship. It serves you no purpose to keep thinking about him, sending him email, talking to him on the phone,, wondering about him and otherwise communicating with him when he is not interested.

 

If you get something going again, I hope it works out for you.

[BAbY88]

I will meet my ex.

but I know I don't want to see him so much. Because he cheated on me. So I can't allow him, but sometimes I missed him, and sometimes I really wanted to talk to him about something.

 

I am not sure why he can meet me.

Yes, I said " If it's possible I want to talk to you." and then he said

" Yes, OK" but I thought if he don't wanna meet me, he could cancel it. but his answer is Yes!

 

I am just thinking why he said Yes.

[Baby 88]

I met ex. and we had dinner together.

and we talked about past ( we broke up about 1 month ago)

I am soooooooooo confused his feeling and his act. So I really need your opinion.

 

First, He said " to meet you today is very difficult, Because I don't want to deal with his emotion. And, I am weak."

 

And he kissed me a lot at dinner.

 

he means he feels something and he is attracted me, that't why he kissed me.

But I felt He tried to control his emotion. and he said " I have pride and right now I am in a dilemma."

 

And after that, he he took my hind, and we walked next place.

 

And we enjoyed drinking.

 

when I tried to go to home. He said.

" I wish you don't go home, I'd like to spend time with you more"

 

and He kissed me a lot, and he hug me.

and he said " I want to go home with you. I want to kiss you, I want to hug you, I want to touch you....brabrabra......"

 

So I asked him " I am not your girl friend now, so I can't go your house. Do you want to get back together ?"

 

and his answer is " right now, No. but in the future definitely Yes."

 

and he said " I miss you..........Do you love me?"

and I said " Yes." and he said " I still love you too."

and he said " if you want to meet me, pick up phone, and call me."

 

 

 

and next day, I sent email. " I wanna see you again"

and his answer is " OK, I can see you. when ? "

 

 

So, I am so confused, I thought his word and act were real.

He loves me and he want to spend time with me.

 

but his mail is not enough for me.

Because I wanted him to say " Yes I want to see you too."

but his answer is " I can see you."

 

what do you think these facts?

what do you think his feeling?

[Tony T]

I don't think you need to be so concerned about wording and semanitcs of his email. Just go get together with him and see if you can discover where his head is at.

 

Why don't you just ask him why it is necessary to wait for time to pass to get together again. I think you deserve an answer. It sounds like he cares about you a great deal.

 

Don't worry about the wording of the email.

[Baby88]

Really?

 

but I feel bad, because i can't control this emotion.

Also I sent email " why you said " I can see you?" Do you mean

I don't want to see you, but I can see you?"

or something like this. So I felt really bad. it's like kind of pushing.

 

Oh........I can't control my self.

[Baubles]

I agree w/ Tony, you reading way too much into semantics...he said he would see you.

 

I think you're situation is pretty good considering YOU broke up with him, although I have to wonder about his decision to not have you be his girlfriend right away. Be prepared that this may take longer than you expect, for him to regain trust.

 

My ex broke up w/ me...I may have brought it on myself w/ a fight of sorts, but we've been playing this game for 4 months- we go for dinners on the weekends, we kiss, we hug, we go for drinks, we go to movies, he calls almost every other day, gets upset if I'm busy and don't have time to spend w/ him, tells me he misses me, but when pressed says we're broken up "for now at least"- but we're "friends" and that's a good thing b/c something more can redevelop from that- he's just "unsure of his feelings right now". It would appear we were dating, w/ the exception I cut him off from any sexual business and there are no i love yous. I'm at the point now that I'm fed up and looking to move on...but keep giving in- now I'm past thinking it's going to turn into anything- it's been 4 months- rather I do enjoy spending time w/ him.

 

If anyone has managed to get back w/ someone after being "friends"- I'd love to hear it.

 

Since you broke it off, give him some space, don't pressure him to say things llike he wants to see you or misses you- let him do it on his own. It may take some time for him to feel he can trust you again, and be glad he still even wants to see you. He appears to be sorting through pain, while wanting to see you. Give him some time w/ no pressure, he appears to like you very much.

[Baubles]

Baby- you wrote your response while I was writing mine...

 

YOU SHOULD DROP THE SEMANTICS ISSUE AND NOT PRESSURE HIM.

 

He said he would see you...accept that for what it is. You broke up w/ him, right? He is the one feeling vulnerable and insecure- don't pressure him. You probably caused him pain and he's sorting it out.

 

Write him back and say you're acting silly and that you're just so glad he wants to see you too, that you're overanalyzing everything and apologize. Just say that you're glad that he wants to see youl.

[Baby88]

Thanks for giving me your opinion!

 

I sent back email to him.

" I am glad to see you Next week,......"

and he emailed me, and we dicede we will meet on wed.^^

I am soooo glad.

 

thanks everyone.

I will write here about this again!!

[BABY88]

oh....I am still thinking about his meaning.

I don't know why he did and said like this....

I know I don't need to think, but I can't stop thinking about this.

 

Also, when I was his girlfriend, he never say to me" Peace!".

I know he says to his friends( include femaile friends).

that's why I am tinking.

what is my position for him?

I know I was his girl friend. but if it is true that he said " I still love you", what is my position for him.

[BABY88]

I don'T know what should I do.

I will see my ex boyfriend next week.

But If he doesn't want to get back together someday, to meet is not valuable. I think.

 

Also again if he asked me to go home together, what should I do?

[BABY88]

If you don'T know about my story, why don'T you read some text about our past.

I wrote a few times before^^

[Tony T]

IKt's highly unlikely that people are going to search the entire forum for your posts. Why don't you put up links or URLs on this thread to make it easier.

 

The post that exists above is too vague and lacks significant background materail. I know you're going through a rough time and we want to help. Please help us to do that.

[BABY88]

I met ex. and we had dinner together.

and we talked about past ( we broke up about 1 month ago)

I am soooooooooo confused his feeling and his act. So I really need your opinion.

 

First, He said " to meet you today is very difficult, Because I don't want to deal with his emotion. And, I am weak."

 

And he kissed me a lot at dinner.

 

he means he feels something and he is attracted me, that't why he kissed me.

But I felt He tried to control his emotion. and he said " I have pride and right now I am in a dilemma."

 

And after that, he he took my hind, and we walked next place.

 

And we enjoyed drinking.

 

when I tried to go to home. He said.

" I wish you don't go home, I'd like to spend time with you more"

 

and He kissed me a lot, and he hug me.

and he said " I want to go home with you. I want to kiss you, I want to hug you, I want to touch you....brabrabra......"

 

So I asked him " I am not your girl friend now, so I can't go your house. Do you want to get back together ?"

 

and his answer is " right now, No. but in the future definitely Yes."

 

and he said " I miss you..........Do you love me?"

and I said " Yes." and he said " I still love you too."

and he said " if you want to meet me, pick up phone, and call me."

 

 

 

and next day, I sent email. " I wanna see you again"

and his answer is " OK, I can see you. when ? "

 

 

So, I am so confused, I thought his word and act were real.

He loves me and he want to spend time with me.

 

but his mail is not enough for me.

Because I wanted him to say " Yes I want to see you too."

but his answer is " I can see you."

 

what do you think these facts?

what do you think his feeling?

[clia]

I think this:

 

and he said " if you want to meet me, pick up phone, and call me."

 

is bull and negates everything he said previously. I take it he broke up with you? Why are you letting him string you along like this? (He is stringing you along.) Trust me, if he really loved you and wanted you back, he would be ringing your phone off the hook, not asking you to do all the work when its so clear you are still in love with him.

 

His pride...his dilemma...doesn't want to get together now but "definitely" in the future. Whatever. It's all talk, and it's all ridiculous. Do not wait around for this guy, and do not get your hopes up.

 

I think you need to not see him, not go home with him, not kiss you, and not talk to him for awhile.

[Paul]

Originally posted by Baby 88

He kissed me a lot, and he hug me.

and he said " I want to go home with you. I want to kiss you, I want to hug you, I want to touch you....brabrabra......"

 

... brabrabra....

[BABY88]

I don't know what should I do. because I really love him.

I know when I see him by rationl, he is not good.

but he still has my heart.

Also here is my question. I don't know when I have to stop living up here??

 

He is over 35 years old, and I am 22 years old and student.

we were together about 4 months.

 

First, I will explain, when I was his girlfriend.

I think we really loved each other, and we were happy together sometimes, but we had argue sometimes.

 

there are some facts.

1 I had abortion. ( at that time, he wanted me to keep this baby, but I decided to have abortion)

Also his three girlfriends had abourtion in the past, becasue he said " you should have abortion, because I don't want to have boby right now."

 

2. I doubted that he cheat on me.( i have some reasons)

 

3. I know he kept in touch with his ex-girlfriend. Also his girl-friend is really strange, because she tried to suicide many times, and she went to hospital.

 

4 somebody ravaged his house.

 

5, his ex-girlfriend got strange message. it's like " he is mine. Stay away" and he doubted me. But I don't have reason to do it, also I don't know about her even her name.

 

And about 1 month ago.

he said " to separete is best way for us."

 

sometimes since we separeted, we have sent email each other.

 

And last week, we met and had dinner.

And he kissed me a lots. and he said " I don't know what should I deal with this emotion, I really attracted you. "

 

and when I tried to go home, he said " I wish you go to my house. becasue I really want to spend time with you."

 

but I refuesed it.

and I asked him " you mean you want to get back together with me?" and his answer was "at this morment ? NO, but in the future? defenitely Yes." Also, he kissed me a lots and he said " I missed you"

 

And when I tried to catch train, he asked me " Do you love me?"

and he said " I still love you too. "

 

And next day I sent email " I want to see you again."

and his answer was " Ok, I can see you. when ?"

So next week we will meet again.

 

But I don't know what should I do.

Because I am so confused......

I don' know his feeling or something like this.

 

what do you think abotu this??

[Tony T]

Most of your questions were answered in this forum in a thread you put up last week. This is a link to your post and subsequent replies of June 14: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t21927/

 

I think this is a chaotic situation. I think this guy is confused. I also, based on what you have written, don't think he can be trusted. I don't feel you will ever be happy with him and I hate to see you thinking about this matter all the time.

 

It would be much better if you didn't respond to him and just moved on with your life. If you want to explore seeing him again and risk staying hurt and in chaos all the time, then go ahead and meet with him and ask him the questions you ask us here.

 

I'm sorry I don't know what he Japanese expression is for "full of shxt" but that's what this guy is, in my opinion.

 

And it doesn't matter whether you love him or not. It's how the relationship goes on a day to day basis and how special he makes you feel. That's how you judge whether a relationship is worth staying in...and not how much you love somebody. You'd be surprised at how much easier it is to love someone who makes your life easier.

[BABY88]

Thanks tony.

 

how can I control my emotion, love to him.

Also do you think he will be able to find happy with someone?

Because I really worry about him.

he had a lots of terrible experiences in the past, in his life.

So I worry about his life.

 

Anyway thank you giving your opinion, Tony^^

[clia]

I replied to you on another one of your threads, but I don't know if you saw it...

 

how can I control my emotion, love to him.

 

You take it one day at a time, you stay busy with your life so you aren't sitting around focusing on him all day. This takes time and does not happen overnight.

 

Also do you think he will be able to find happy with someone?

 

Sure. The problem is, that someone may not be you.

 

Because I really worry about him.

he had a lots of terrible experiences in the past, in his life.

So I worry about his life.

 

Please stop worrying about him. He's an adult and can take care of himself. There is no reason for you to be dwelling on him. Trust me, he is not sitting around worrying about YOU and about your life.

[Just A Girl2]

This man helped to create 4 unborn children, and all were aborted. He obviously doesn't have any regard for human life. Or any smarts about the need for birth control, especially after he knocked up the first girl, then the second.

 

I sure hope that if you have sex again, that you'll have learned from your past pregnancy/abortion, to find yourself good birth control, so that more lives aren't needlessly snuffed out.

[BABY88]

Hello everyone

I met and had dinner with ex twice.

But I decided to stop having dinner with him.

Because last time, I was too emotional and I cried.

I don't know why. I was just confused what he said " I still love you too." and he kissed me.

So I had been thinking too deeply about it. it's like what he wants to do? what is his feeling?

maybe that's why I cried.

 

But right now he stands in turning point. So I know he needs time to what he wants , what he needs.

I know his mean. He does't want to get back together with me right now.

So I will move on my life. No! I had been moving on my life since we separated.

 

Still, I really love him. And if it's possible, I want to be his wife.

I know I had chance. Because I had his baby, and he said " I want to marry to you." something like this.

But I am student, and still 22. So I did't keep his baby at that time. Also I believed if our love were true, someday I could have his baby, and we become family."

Still I have hope, but It's time to develop myself.

[BABY88]

Hello. I met and had dinner with my ex.

I was too emotional, so I cried.

And I tell him my feeling how much I love him.

And when I tried to go back to my house, we kissed and I said "Bye" and turned round and went down to catch a subway. And I cried again. I did't want him to see it.

But maybe He watched I cried.

So he called me and he emailed me. Because he just wanted to say " Are you Kay?". But I did't call or email back.

Because all a day, I was not OK. Also next day too.

 

Right now I got back my handle. So I am fine.

 

Here is tiny problem.

 

I embarrass what I did.

So I just wanted to tell him " I am sorry that I cried and I was too emotional, and right now I got back my handle." I just wanted to tell him. but I don't know why I hesitated to email him.

 

Give me your advice.

[Jamie31]

It obvious that he wants to talk to you and find out what was wrong with you. If you want to tell him you are sorry, then just give him a call and tell him. It's not that hard. Hel, maybe it will bring you two back together if that's what you want. I would just tell him. It sounds like that is the best thing you can do here.

 

Hope I helped.

[BABY88]

Thinking about ex is not so nice thing. So I try to stop thinking.

But I still love him. I know that.

but Actually he hurt me, Also when I was his girlfriend, I did't understand some of his points.

Because he is 37. I know he had a loooooooots of experiences, but I did't understand his sense of value about money or something like this. He really love himself, so he dozen't care so much. So when I dated wit him, I want him to change something.

Right now he takes time to figure out what he wants, what he needs or something like this.

therefore right now is kind of Turning point for him. So he has chance to change something.

Even though we separated, I am glad that he starts think his life.

 

I was confused, but I know my feeling. So I think I don't need it.

My ideal, He becomes better, and I want to marry to him!

During this time, Also I need figure out my future plan, and I want to become better than now.

 

you guys who are confused, don't do it.

you don't have to look back!

I will try to stop looking back, so you should do same I think