May be we (I and My EX-boyfrind) see next week. but I am not sure should I or??

[a guy from nyc]

I read your entire thread. Sounds to me that the guy is a liar. Things he said to you were problem vague lies. Yes, he has his own problems and excuses. But you shouldn't be the one to surfer (with him)... I wouldn't be surprised if he has a family and kids behind the scene. So why don't you forget about him... move on while you are young...

[BABY88]

I don't know he is liar or not. but I know he has own problems.

But you know to deal with this love to him is very difficult.

Because I had really good time with him.

but I know to move on is good for me.

[Baubles]

Baby- you gave much greater detail on your description of your relationship w/ your ex this time...I am saddened. do you really want this man in your life?? A month before he was suggesting you part ways? Your relationship, no matter how deep your feelings, was short-lived. i am in the yeh, I might kept back w/ you in the future, but now phase also. I actually placed belief in that, but it's a line...I've been doing this mess 4 months- this guy may just string you along and kiss and hold you and get your hopes up. It appears you had a reason (s) to end it.

[BABY88]

Baubles

 

Hello. well I don't know why I still love him, and I want to get back together with him even though I know he is not good boyfriend.

 

Also, I know he kept in touch with his ex, when I was his girlfriend. but I tursted him. sometimes I doubted something.

However, still I trust him. I think maybe he cheated on me, but I trust him. I know it's strange, but I believe him.

 

Also, everybody not perfect, but he wants to chenge something, I can help him I think. that's why I want him.

 

right now I decided to stop meeting him, but someday I will see him. Because still he is the one for me.

 

In addition, I know some couples got back together and got marriage, and they are happy right now. So I want to be like them.

[BABY88]

Well....

I need new advice!

Because before I reall wanted to get back with my ex.

However, Maybe He chead on me, and he did something wrong as he said.Also really strange things happened to his life as he said, but Also I was involved at that time.

I know to move on and find out someone is best way, but I just don't want to regret that's it!

If it's possible, he regret what he did, and he fixed them, and he back to me. It's ideal.

 

Always I am in dilemma. Sometimes I want to say everything what I think from bad aspect.

But sometimes I try to understand about him, Because I want to understand and accept.

So how can I deal with this dilemma?

[BABY88]

Well I need new reactions of you.

you know if many things happened in the relationship, All of them are past. you know the things yesterday are already past things.

So we can't change history. HOWEVER, we can make and build up everything from now, because it's not past yet.

 

So I don't care about the past, but now what should I do?

 

My ex can't commit to me now, but he doesn't have anyone special right now, and he love ending time with me. Also he said," being with me was amazing! "So he still want to see me without commitment. I understand that he can't commit to me. Because right now I think Turing point in his life. And he really wants the time and ace for himself. So I really support his decision. And I respect his. When I was his girlfriend, I really thought that he need to improve himself. Because I felt Although, he is 36 years old, he is not mature. ( he is very educated, but he is NOT mature so much) that's why.......

 

If I meet him again, I will NOT make love with him even though I love him and he loves me. I will NOT. I am sure about this!

 

still I have same feeling to him. I am not sure that I want to become his girlfriend again or not. BUT,I am sure that I just want to be his special person in his life. Because even though he was not nice boyfriend, he is so attractive person, and I really care about him that's why.

 

Next week, his birthday coming! So I decided that I will send birthday card.

 

But still I am thinking that what can I do on his birthday.

I know I am not his girlfriend now, so some of you guys might think that I don't need to do to him on his birthday. BUT I will something.

 

If it is possible to have dinner with him on the day, It is nice. However, I am not sure meeting now is good for me or not.

Because, when I met and had dinner before since we separated, I was irrational at that time, now I am thinking what is the best way for us to celebrate.

[Tony T]

If you want a committment from this man and he doesn't want to give it, I don't think you should be spending time with him or worrying about him. I know you care deeply for him but that doesn't matter at all if he's not willing to give himself to you in a relationship.

 

Send him a card and then stop making him a central part of your life. Go out with friends and get introduced to other people. There are other men out there who will commit to you and that's where you ought to concentrate.

 

You will not get over this guy or find another nice man unless you break things off, stop thinking about him, and stop contacting him. Taking him out to dinner for his birthday is only going to hurt you and give you false hope. You will get no closer to him, it will not impress him any more, and he will not make a committment to you...so why put yourself through that?

[PurpleAngel]

BABY88 I am concerned that you continue to write about this guy, its been weeks that I have been reading your posts about him and his commitment issue and how much pain it causes you but I don’t see you trying to heal. DO you want to be in pain forever? YOU must stop letting him be the focal point in your life, you are the NUMBER ONE importance and no one else BABY88. I understand it’s hard, I have gone through something similar, but you cannot change him. No amount of your love and good deeds is going to FIX his problem. He has an issue and HE needs to work through it, not you, not you and him together, JUST HIM, ALONE!

 

BABY88 if he loves you, he will return one day but you must let this go. I can sense that this is really becoming destructive to you, please have some courage. You will get through it, you will be happy again. Believe it, YOU are the creator of your happiness, you cannot base you happiness on someone else, ok!

 

I am so sorry to be so harsh BUT you must heal and get over him, this is not healthy. When love becomes like an obsession it is not a good thing.

 

LET HIM GO COMPLETELY!

 

BE STRONG, and LIVE FOR YOU!

 

Good Luck

~PurpleAngel~

[RogueK]

The fact is if you let go and he does love you there is a chance he'll do what he can to keep you. The fact is no matter if it hurts you or him if there is no commitment you need to move on.

 

If you move on and he stops calling and showing up then he really had no intention of commiting, careing and loving you the way you deserve.

[clia]

Baby88,

 

Why are you accepting these crumbs from this man? You are not a bird! Stop eating them!

 

"So he still want to see me without commitment.

 

I had a guy say this to me once. You know what I said? Oh, I'm sorry, but that doesn't work for me. Goodbye.

 

You know why I said that? Because this is what he means--"Baby88, you are my human TV set. I will keep you hanging by a string for awhile until I get bored and move on. But I do not want to commit to you now, or ever. After all, if you were my dreamgirl, don't you think I'd do everything within my power to keep you in my life and commit to you? But hey, if you are willing to be my human TV set and to keep me entertained for a while, SWEET!"

 

Do not sleep with him.

 

Do not send him a birthday card.

 

Do not initiate any contact with him.

 

Let him know through your cool actions that you are not willing to accept crumbs from him!

[RogueK]

I've found that breaking all ties is one of the true things that helps. When you don't hold on to EVERY shread of hope that he gives to you and you realize/believe it is over, you'll finally be able to start healing and moving on.

 

I know moving on is a word you DO NOT want to hear when it pertains to him but it's something you need to start putting in your head. Everyone deserves to truly feel love...if it isn't there than it may be time to move on.

 

I believe you are strong enough. You lived at one time without him and you can do it again.