Online Dating!!

[ABrokenWing]

Who's done it, who hasn't, who's had success? who's struck out with it? I want to hear all sorts of online dating stories, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm contemplating doing this but have been scared ( i guess that's the best word ) about the idea.

[TigerCub]

I've done it.

It's mostly good, I find that its a good way to meet people and weed out the ones you may not be interested in.

I met a guy online and we had my longest relationship (1 year 8 months), and when that ended, I met a bunch of different guys and went out on a few dates with some of them, and now I've met a really great guy and we've been dating for about 2 months.

 

To be honest, you will meet some losers that just don't have any social skills, or are liars, or are just not suitable for you, but at the same time the good thing about online dating is that it gives you a chance to chat with the people that appeal to you and get to know them a little then meet them in a public place and go from there.

 

It really is no big deal just as long as you remember to be safe about where to meet and stuff like that.

[curiousnycgirl]

Did it for a few years, met my current b/f of 3.5 years online. Would do it again if thngs don't work out.

 

Overall dating is a numbers game, you have to go out with a lot of toads to find your prince/ess and online dating gives you a huge numbers boost.

 

The biggest thing I learned and recommend to everyone is not to be too gunshy to meet r/t, do it as quickly as possible once you've decided someone might be a possibility for you. Long drawn out email, chat and phone conversations build up an artificial view of the person. People rarely match the image you build of them in your head - and even if they could be perfect for you, your disappointment when you meet them will prevent the next date.

 

Another thing is make the first meet very innocuous, best bet is to meet for coffee - ideally somewhere not to close to where you live or work. Coffee can be a 10 minute date, or a 10 hour one - depending on whether or not there is a connection. I never, never, never agree to dinner for a first date - it's too long a committment in my mind for a first meet.

 

Be very honest in your profile about what you are looking for. I started online dating with the intent of answering every single person who contacted me. I was in my late 30's and found a BOATLOAD of late teenagers/early 20 somethings wanting to meet me. I finally wrote inmy profile that they were under a certain age I wouldn't even respond, so not to bother. They still wrote, but fewer.

 

Good luck and remember to enjoy it!

[Green]

Met a girl online once she was nice, it wasnt through a dating service, just a random girl who like my profile on one of those social networking sites. I prefer getting girls the old fashioned way, but I think you shouldn't let fear make your decision, its 2008 alot of normal people do the online dating thing

[EhiPassiko]

Common reservations for people who have never done this sort of thing can range from superficial ones to deep seated ones. The old "there are some psychos out there" is always a fun one too. "I could never do that!!!!" "That's for losers!" Haha... people can sometimes be very judgmental, but don't let any of that deter you! I have met many people who have met online and are very happy. I wish I had the stats, but in any case... its worth a shot.

 

The way I have experienced it (I dated 2 men seriously for about a year each, one almost leading to marriage), you can meet "psychos" in real life just as easily. Give it a shot. Its fun! Enjoy it and be honest. Try not to list things that you DON'T want, instead list things that you want. Also, I always find that the best way to express that I am somewhat witty is just to write a witty comment. Or the best way to show my intellect is just to write... intelligently. Seems simple enough, yes?

 

It can be loads of fun, but it has its share of people who are just a little bizarre, much like the rest of the world. Its up to you to become privy to the kinds of character traits you want in someone. Its up to you to see through what people SAY on their profile and instead pick up on what they DO in their daily lives. Don't let the profile dictate how you build your affection for someone you want to meet or spend a little time with. Let it just be the introduction and use your own GOOD judgment and slow pace to get to know them. Wait... can the same be said of real life dating? I think so...

 

Namaste!

[dreaming4ever]

Online dating definitely works. I know several people in happy marriages that met online. Yes, it has a bad reputation and some people think it's just "embarassing" to look for someone online but it's not really at all. Like, take me for instance...I don't like going to bars or clubs so it makes it a lot harder for me to meet people. But online you meet so many people that you have to limit yourself to only talking to a few at a time so that you don't get overwhelmed. Dating is definitely a numbers game but why wait around and "hope" to meet a guy at work or in the grocery store when you can go online and start talking to a guy with similar interests TODAY?? It just makes sense that if you try online dating, even though you may date a few weirdos, eventually you'll find someone to connect with.

 

I have tried it myself and met some very nice people. No one I'm dating at the moment but trust me there are nice people just like you out there who are looking. In fact, once I'm ready to date again I am definitely going to try online dating again. Try it and let us know how it goes. Good luck

[fishtaco]

I completely struck out. I received zero legit responses. I'll admit I didn't spend much time cultivating and maintaining my online presence. But it's because I was busy meeting women the old fashioned way... by going out to social events and meeting them in real life.

 

This is my conclusion (could be wrong, feel free to correct me). Online dating takes just as much effort as real life searching, but it requires a completely different set of skills. It's better in the sense that it's cheaper and you can do it in your PJ sitting at home. But for me personally I actually like going out. I rather go to a party of 100 people where I know no one and was forced to socialize (not an enjoyable feeling when you stand around nursing a drink like a loner dumbass), than stay home and send emails on the PC on a Saturday night. Just personal preference.

 

So right now I have a profile at some free site that's not doing anything for me. And I pretty much ignore it most of the time. But I'm going out 2-4 times a week and I'm having a fair amount of success getting numbers and what not, although I can't claim the big success yet.

[Melovator]

I'd advise saying you don't have a webcam and are so technologically inept you cannot use MSN- other wise its pictures of penises everywhere!!!! Well if you're a straight woman that seems to be the case...

[fishtaco]

I'd advise saying you don't have a webcam and are so technologically inept you cannot use MSN- other wise its pictures of penises everywhere!!!! Well if you're a straight woman that seems to be the case...

 

That's not fair. I have a webcam and I'm technologically savvy, but it's not pictures of vaginas everywhere.

[dreaming4ever]

That reminds me....I should also mention that I've heard that women tend to have wayyy more luck on online dating sites than men. Responses-wise anyways. I got at least 10 emails a day on the site I was on.

[Mary3]

I'd advise saying you don't have a webcam and are so technologically inept you cannot use MSN- other wise its pictures of penises everywhere!!!! Well if you're a straight woman that seems to be the case...

 

I've had guys who have said " Hey wanna see me on my web cam ? " ...........and then WHAM ! out comes the Penis almost everytime !

[kimba]

If you want to know how online dating turns out , just look at my most recent thread........

[Mary3]

Okay my results :

 

2 men weighed over 300 lbs.

3 men had ADD

1 man was bipolar

2 had tourettes syndrome

 

Almost all men wanted to * come over * for a little while. ( not all but it seemed like the suggestion of the night )

Some did not have cars.

Most if not all were * struggling financially* ie; living with mommy. No job .

 

Many were down right strange and not dateable .

One man talked like a female.

2 were transexuals.

 

There were some good experiences : Guys that were hot and well of course they mostly just wanted to play. A few good guys that developed into something nice.

 

Almost ALL had a * girlfriend they were not over with * in their minds.

 

I blame most of this on myself regarding NOT asking more , such as " Do you still have feelings for someone else " ?

 

I don't take the Internet that seriously anymore. Still go out here and there but I live my life a little differently ...

[marlena]

Mary 3,

 

That's about the gist of it I'd say! ARGH!!!

[kimba]

Okay my results :

 

2 men weighed over 300 lbs.

3 men had ADD

1 man was bipolar

2 had tourettes syndrome

 

Almost all men wanted to * come over * for a little while. ( not all but it seemed like the suggestion of the night )

Some did not have cars.

Most if not all were * struggling financially* ie; living with mommy. No job .

 

Many were down right strange and not dateable .

One man talked like a female.

2 were transexuals.

 

There were some good experiences : Guys that were hot and well of course they mostly just wanted to play. A few good guys that developed into something nice.

 

Almost ALL had a * girlfriend they were not over with * in their minds.

 

I blame most of this on myself regarding NOT asking more , such as " Do you still have feelings for someone else " ?

 

I don't take the Internet that seriously anymore. Still go out here and there but I live my life a little differently ...

 

 

that actually really sums it up I'm afraid, based on my own experiences and also of friends.

 

You have to do a lot of "weeding out" and to be honest A LOT of people on there are NOt serious about meeting anyone so it can be a big timewaster. People get on there to get winks and feel good about themselves.

[yongyong]

Online dating can be more frustrating.

She emails you first or you get phone number after conversation but her interest goes away after coupe of days

 

If you are just Woman, you will receive many emails from guys.

 

This makes girls (not even in my level ) act cockier than in their real life.

 

Girls say 'they want intelligent, honest blah blah'. you have to pass Appearance audition first.

I understand their view too, cuz I will never date overweighted girl.

 

 

If you are guys, don't just go for your soul mate type and don't get upset if you get rejected.

 

Guys, meet any woman as possible (even though you won't date her )and use them as your training tool

[Meaplus3]

Okay my results :

 

2 men weighed over 300 lbs.

3 men had ADD

1 man was bipolar

2 had tourettes syndrome

 

Almost all men wanted to * come over * for a little while. ( not all but it seemed like the suggestion of the night )

Some did not have cars.

Most if not all were * struggling financially* ie; living with mommy. No job .

 

Many were down right strange and not dateable .

One man talked like a female.

2 were transexuals.

 

There were some good experiences : Guys that were hot and well of course they mostly just wanted to play. A few good guys that developed into something nice.

 

Almost ALL had a * girlfriend they were not over with * in their minds.

 

I blame most of this on myself regarding NOT asking more , such as " Do you still have feelings for someone else " ?

 

I don't take the Internet that seriously anymore. Still go out here and there but I live my life a little differently ...

 

This sound's very scarey! How did you find out the truth about these guy's?

 

2 men weighed over 300 lbs.

3 men had ADD

1 man was bipolar

2 had tourettes syndrome

 

 

AP:)

[Mary3]

This sound's very scarey! How did you find out the truth about these guy's?

 

2 men weighed over 300 lbs.

3 men had ADD

1 man was bipolar

2 had tourettes syndrome

 

 

AP:)

 

2 men weighed over 300 lbs : They each lied about their weight by nearly 60 lbs.

 

3 men had ADD : None revealed this fact at all. Met them and noticed they were super hyper and talked ALOT and were consistantly late . I should add that they were HOT so I overlooked some of the behavior but eventually you get exhausted from dealing with it...

 

1 man was bipolar : Another handsome man with a bad attitude and very MOODY. It was not until months in that I figured out this guy is soooo sad and then happy. Up and Down up and down ..lol

 

2 had tourettes : One admitted he did and I barely noticed but he would do things without thinking. The other one was very handsome and I noticed he * barked * alot. Made strange noises. Tried to repress which made his condition worse. Thats when I looked up the condition on~line. He never mentioned that he had it but his behavior was outrageous ! It just didn't work for me , ...

[Tormented]

Who's done it, who hasn't, who's had success? who's struck out with it? I want to hear all sorts of online dating stories, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm contemplating doing this but have been scared ( i guess that's the best word ) about the idea.

 

I've got a little experience in this, but not much. I was thinking about giving it another stab, but after reading some of the horror stories here, I'm having second thoughts!

 

I've only met (face-to-face) 3 men I met from a dating site (Match). Can't say the experience was bad, except for one who looked NOTHING like his pics...the pics he posted were probably 7-10 years old, so I was disappointed when I saw him. He was a nice guy, but had a hard time carrying on a decent conversation and I was bored to death. Plus, I felt absolutely no attraction to him.

 

The second guy was a blast, but I could tell within the first hour that he was a player. Busy eyes, know what I mean? For me and just about every woman in the room! A man with busy eyes is always a turn-off for me. It's just rude. So, when he called back for another date, I declined.

 

The third guy I really liked and we had multiple dates. He was a biker and we went on rides often. Lots of laughter, conversation, and had a lot in common. Problem? As time went on I noticed he had mood swings and tended to take what I said out of content...usually in a negative way. And these episodes became more frequent so I decided to walk away. Sad, because I had hopes for this one.

 

I'm not really crazy about the whole on-line dating thing, but when you live in a very small community where 90% of the men are married, and the other 10% are either drunks, druggies, unemployed or have girlfriends, it leaves little to no options to choose from. So being this limited, on-line dating seems to be my best option at this point.

 

Depressing...

 

~T~

[London Girl]

Hmm had to reply to this post. My recent ex I met via on-line dating. He advertised himself as looking for a serious relationship, wanted to have kids, wanted to meet girls between ages 28-35. He is 36. I have the same outlook and he seemed genuine enough so I thought why not.

 

We got chatting and exchanged a few emails, he wanted to meet me within a week. We did, clicked, had chemistry and went on for a further four dates all instigated by him. He seemed genuine, was affectionate etc. Then after 5 weeks of dating - he calls me and dumps me because he is not ready for a relationship. He was single for 4.5 months before meeting me but he assured me from the outset that he was over his ex and he was relieved when it was over.

 

He is still active on the dating site. Apparently only to chat to girls but not to meet up with them as he feel it does not feel right to do so.

 

I do feel there are people on these sites that are just looking for an ego boost or has issues and some are just liars. If my ex had advertised himself as looking for a casual relationship then it would have given me an option as to whether to get in contact with him which I would not have done. He is still advertising himself as looking for a serious relationship - he is one messed up guy!

[Green]

Hmm had to reply to this post. My recent ex I met via on-line dating. He advertised himself as looking for a serious relationship, wanted to have kids, wanted to meet girls between ages 28-35. He is 36. I have the same outlook and he seemed genuine enough so I thought why not.

 

We got chatting and exchanged a few emails, he wanted to meet me within a week. We did, clicked, had chemistry and went on for a further four dates all instigated by him. He seemed genuine, was affectionate etc. Then after 5 weeks of dating - he calls me and dumps me because he is not ready for a relationship. He was single for 4.5 months before meeting me but he assured me from the outset that he was over his ex and he was relieved when it was over.

 

He is still active on the dating site. Apparently only to chat to girls but not to meet up with them as he feel it does not feel right to do so.

 

I do feel there are people on these sites that are just looking for an ego boost or has issues and some are just liars. If my ex had advertised himself as looking for a casual relationship then it would have given me an option as to whether to get in contact with him which I would not have done. He is still advertising himself as looking for a serious relationship - he is one messed up guy!

 

Thats what you get for dating in the UK

[bozwa]

I think online dating is about the same as "regular" dating...you weed through the wierdos before you find a good one. LOL Someone earlier posted you date a lot of toads before you find your prince..that's about it.

 

I chose online dating for a couple of reasons: I don't get a lot of opportunity to meet people with my schedule and activities. I do have friends who have friends who have friends. Was set up on many a blind date, meeting someone unseen, knowing nothing about them. I did that 5 or 6 times, and that was enough for me. I also chose online dating because, frankly, I am very shy in social/personal situations and it can be difficult for me to strike up conversation beyond the stupid small talk in person. It gave me an opportunity to "meet" a number of people and open up at my own pace.

 

I spoke with many, many men, not many holding my attention to the point of telephone conversations. The ones that made it to the phone, not many kept my interest enough to meet them. The ones I met, well, just UGH. One reason or another, I was diisinterested fairly quickly.

 

I had FOUR guys in a row freak out at meeting time, nervous for one reason or another and wanted to postpone meeting me, but wanted to continue talking. What? No thanks. After the 4th one, I decided that I had put entirely too much effort into online dating and was going to call it quits.

 

I checked my online dating site email one last time....and he had emailed me. "He" being my current boyfriend. My head said "hell no, don't respond, he's probably just another wierdo" while my heart was already writing him back. (My head was scolding my heart saying "are you glutton for punishment?? Haven't you had enough??" LOL)

 

This is already getting too long, so I'll just say: My BF and I met within a week of that first email and we have now been together for over a year. We are very happy together and are discussing future/marriag/kids/sitting in our rockers with our canes.

 

Give it a shot....MY BEST ADVICE TO YOU: Yes, this is the age of technology and convenient online dating. But be careful and take every precaution you can. I personally got full names and background on these guys before I went out with them. I went so far as to do searches and check court records before I went out with them. I then made sure I met them in a public place and at least 3 people knew where I was, who I was with, they had his phone number and his address if I had it and when I was going. You just can't be too careful.

Edited January 13, 2008 by bozwa

[Green]

I dont think online dating is just like regular dating. Your more likely to end up on a date with some one your not interested in. It can definetly be a good way to meet people, but you will most likely end up on a one on one situation with a person you wouldn't have if you had met in person first. There is definetly more of a chance of meeting a freak or something through online dating, but it can also be a good tool to meet a person you really end up falling for

[Meaplus3]

2 men weighed over 300 lbs : They each lied about their weight by nearly 60 lbs.

 

3 men had ADD : None revealed this fact at all. Met them and noticed they were super hyper and talked ALOT and were consistantly late . I should add that they were HOT so I overlooked some of the behavior but eventually you get exhausted from dealing with it...

 

1 man was bipolar : Another handsome man with a bad attitude and very MOODY. It was not until months in that I figured out this guy is soooo sad and then happy. Up and Down up and down ..lol

 

2 had tourettes : One admitted he did and I barely noticed but he would do things without thinking. The other one was very handsome and I noticed he * barked * alot. Made strange noises. Tried to repress which made his condition worse. Thats when I looked up the condition on~line. He never mentioned that he had it but his behavior was outrageous ! It just didn't work for me , ...

 

Thank's for your reply Mary. Gosh...I'm sorry you had to go through all this.

 

AP:)

[Mary3]

I think online dating is about the same as "regular" dating...you weed through the wierdos before you find a good one. LOL Someone earlier posted you date a lot of toads before you find your prince..that's about it.

 

I chose online dating for a couple of reasons: I don't get a lot of opportunity to meet people with my schedule and activities. I do have friends who have friends who have friends. Was set up on many a blind date, meeting someone unseen, knowing nothing about them. I did that 5 or 6 times, and that was enough for me. I also chose online dating because, frankly, I am very shy in social/personal situations and it can be difficult for me to strike up conversation beyond the stupid small talk in person. It gave me an opportunity to "meet" a number of people and open up at my own pace.

 

I spoke with many, many men, not many holding my attention to the point of telephone conversations. The ones that made it to the phone, not many kept my interest enough to meet them. The ones I met, well, just UGH. One reason or another, I was diisinterested fairly quickly.

 

I had FOUR guys in a row freak out at meeting time, nervous for one reason or another and wanted to postpone meeting me, but wanted to continue talking. What? No thanks. After the 4th one, I decided that I had put entirely too much effort into online dating and was going to call it quits.

 

I checked my online dating site email one last time....and he had emailed me. "He" being my current boyfriend. My head said "hell no, don't respond, he's probably just another wierdo" while my heart was already writing him back. (My head was scolding my heart saying "are you glutton for punishment?? Haven't you had enough??" LOL)

 

This is already getting too long, so I'll just say: My BF and I met within a week of that first email and we have now been together for over a year. We are very happy together and are discussing future/marriag/kids/sitting in our rockers with our canes.

 

Give it a shot....MY BEST ADVICE TO YOU: Yes, this is the age of technology and convenient online dating. But be careful and take every precaution you can. I personally got full names and background on these guys before I went out with them. I went so far as to do searches and check court records before I went out with them. I then made sure I met them in a public place and at least 3 people knew where I was, who I was with, they had his phone number and his address if I had it and when I was going. You just can't be too careful.

 

I totally get what you are saying. I know alot of us choose the on~line dating sites because we all have jobs and hectic schedules so its easy to sit in front of the computer and click on cute guys all day

 

The ONLY problem with that : those guys we are clicking on can be married , in a relationship , 20 years older than their picture , have a drug problem , have a social personality disorder ( not just shyness because I tend to be shy too ) be very heavy ( obese ) much heavier than we feel comfortable with ( not bashing big guys because I prefer them ) . There is a myriad of problems that start AFTER we get them going on the phone.

 

They don't want to meet ? Guess why ?? Read all the above !

 

Think about this a guy with an honest profile : " Hi I am currently cheating on my wife because we have been married 22 years and I am bored as Hell so I am going to post an old picture from 1972 so nobody will recognize me. Anyway, I have erectile dysfunction ( meaning my penis does not stay hard ) so I was wondering if you wanted to go out with a guy has very little money because his wife sucks the bank account every week "

 

Now who do you think will go out with the honest profile guy ?

 

Congrats and best wishes on your great guy