bozwa Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 I totally get what you are saying. I know alot of us choose the on~line dating sites because we all have jobs and hectic schedules so its easy to sit in front of the computer and click on cute guys all day The ONLY problem with that : those guys we are clicking on can be married , in a relationship , 20 years older than their picture , have a drug problem , have a social personality disorder ( not just shyness because I tend to be shy too ) be very heavy ( obese ) much heavier than we feel comfortable with ( not bashing big guys because I prefer them ) . There is a myriad of problems that start AFTER we get them going on the phone. They don't want to meet ? Guess why ?? Read all the above ! Think about this a guy with an honest profile : " Hi I am currently cheating on my wife because we have been married 22 years and I am bored as Hell so I am going to post an old picture from 1972 so nobody will recognize me. Anyway, I have erectile dysfunction ( meaning my penis does not stay hard ) so I was wondering if you wanted to go out with a guy has very little money because his wife sucks the bank account every week " Now who do you think will go out with the honest profile guy ? Congrats and best wishes on your great guy Of course all that you stated could happen! The obvious (obesity, older) of course could not be something hidden if met for the first time in person, but other things such as drug problem, married, ED (LOL!!), transvestite tendencies (lol)...all could be hidden in the beginning also. All come out later. UGH One guy I was talking to (yes, online) luckily revealed to me before we had an opportunity to meet (and he was one of the ones nervous to meet) that he enjoyed dressing in women's clothing and occasionally needs to have sex with a man. Ummm, can we say that was the biggest red flag I ever got??? hahaha! I guess I was lucky. I hope nothing wierd comes out in the future beyond his huge love of gaming! lol Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Of course all that you stated could happen! The obvious (obesity, older) of course could not be something hidden if met for the first time in person, but other things such as drug problem, married, ED (LOL!!), transvestite tendencies (lol)...all could be hidden in the beginning also. All come out later. UGH One guy I was talking to (yes, online) luckily revealed to me before we had an opportunity to meet (and he was one of the ones nervous to meet) that he enjoyed dressing in women's clothing and occasionally needs to have sex with a man. Ummm, can we say that was the biggest red flag I ever got??? hahaha! I guess I was lucky. I hope nothing wierd comes out in the future beyond his huge love of gaming! lol Oh , I've met a few men who also wanted to dress in lingere and few who admitted to wanting sex with a man. Its a strange dominate/submissive situation. I can't explain why but its also connected to pain. They want to dress like a woman , being told what to do , have you slap them around and brush against the idea of a male sexual encounter...go figure...you meet all kinds , lol ! Link to post Share on other sites
yongyong Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Give it a shot....MY BEST ADVICE TO YOU: Yes, this is the age of technology and convenient online dating. But be careful and take every precaution you can. I personally got full names and background on these guys before I went out with them. I went so far as to do searches and check court records before I went out with them. I then made sure I met them in a public place and at least 3 people knew where I was, who I was with, they had his phone number and his address if I had it and when I was going. You just can't be too careful. What kind of class are you in? do you have a lot of druggies, alcoholics, sex offenders around you? You are thinking men are there to commit some crime? maybe you shouldn't be doing online dating. I bet you don't trust men in your normal life. Link to post Share on other sites
bozwa Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Give it a shot....MY BEST ADVICE TO YOU: Yes, this is the age of technology and convenient online dating. But be careful and take every precaution you can. I personally got full names and background on these guys before I went out with them. I went so far as to do searches and check court records before I went out with them. I then made sure I met them in a public place and at least 3 people knew where I was, who I was with, they had his phone number and his address if I had it and when I was going. You just can't be too careful. What kind of class are you in? do you have a lot of druggies, alcoholics, sex offenders around you? You are thinking men are there to commit some crime? maybe you shouldn't be doing online dating. I bet you don't trust men in your normal life. Honey, I don't trust anyone. I don't trust YOU. LOL I am cautious. I am a woman and it is a known FACT and a very present DANGER ANYWHERE that, if not cautious and aware, anywhere from basic sexual assault/rape and, yes, even murder can occur. If you're going to put yourself out there, I say protect yourself. In all ways. I'm sorry you don't agree with the way I chose to do that. Don't you watch the news, for crying out loud? I refuse to become another statistic. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 I totally get what you are saying. I know alot of us choose the on~line dating sites because we all have jobs and hectic schedules so its easy to sit in front of the computer and click on cute guys all day The ONLY problem with that : those guys we are clicking on can be married , in a relationship , 20 years older than their picture , have a drug problem , have a social personality disorder ( not just shyness because I tend to be shy too ) be very heavy ( obese ) much heavier than we feel comfortable with ( not bashing big guys because I prefer them ) . There is a myriad of problems that start AFTER we get them going on the phone. They don't want to meet ? Guess why ?? Read all the above ! Think about this a guy with an honest profile : " Hi I am currently cheating on my wife because we have been married 22 years and I am bored as Hell so I am going to post an old picture from 1972 so nobody will recognize me. Anyway, I have erectile dysfunction ( meaning my penis does not stay hard ) so I was wondering if you wanted to go out with a guy has very little money because his wife sucks the bank account every week " Now who do you think will go out with the honest profile guy ? Congrats and best wishes on your great guy Think about this a guy with an honest profile : " Hi I am currently cheating on my wife because we have been married 22 years and I am bored as Hell so I am going to post an old picture from 1972 so nobody will recognize me. Anyway, I have erectile dysfunction ( meaning my penis does not stay hard ) so I was wondering if you wanted to go out with a guy has very little money because his wife sucks the bank account every week LOL! My bet is the honest guy would not get to many taker's too funny! AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
InferiorityComplex Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 I don't know if anyone here will really take my opinion to heart because I'm only 19 (turning 20 tomorrow!) but I had amazing luck with online dating. And not only me, but my father as well. I met my current boyfriend on the internet when I was 16. I had my picture on a few "Rate my face" websites...and of course I got lots of messages from guys, "You're hot" "Let's hook up" "Damn look at those titties" etc. But one day I got a message "Hello, I just felt the need to tell you that I think you are very beautiful and have a nice smile. If you'd ever like to talk some time <insert screen name here>" Well I started to talk to this guy, and he was amazing. I had yet to see his picture though. After about a week of talking he sent me a picture...and I already liked him alot. Sensitive, sweet, and extremely funny. We had/have alot in common. Well 4 years later we are still dating, bought a house together and extremely happy. I just suggest really talking to someone before you get into a relationship. In my fathers case, he was a shell of a man after what my mother had done to him. And he hadn't dated in...13 years. So he actually went to a Christian dating website and found his current fiance. She too is absolutely amazing and I've never seen my dad so happy. So I think that internet dating is a great way to meet people. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 I would agree that talking and spending alot of time with someone is how you best get to know them. Maybe that was my error but when you get false or erroneous information, its tough to get beyond that .. I realize there are some couples who did have success on the Online Dating. But sadly that is the exception rather than the norm. For those who did : Great But I won't take it seriously and have not for about 2 years. ...Not to say a great guy could come along but honestly it seems that they were either looking for booty calls or undateable types as mentioned in my earlier posts. Link to post Share on other sites
rosalie Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 I think online dating is about the same as "regular" dating...you weed through the wierdos before you find a good one. LOL Someone earlier posted you date a lot of toads before you find your prince..that's about it. I spoke with many, many men, not many holding my attention to the point of telephone conversations. The ones that made it to the phone, not many kept my interest enough to meet them. The ones I met, well, just UGH. One reason or another, I was diisinterested fairly quickly. Give it a shot....MY BEST ADVICE TO YOU: Yes, this is the age of technology and convenient online dating. But be careful and take every precaution you can. I. Nice one, I totally agree and best for you and your boyfriend I've done it on and off for a year or so and the strike-rate is about 20%, I've had one relationship which didn't work but not due to the online thing, he was a nice guy just didn't work. I'm currently dating a few, two of which I've met online and they are lovely and normal (one I have my total eye on, wish me luck) you just need to weed out early. I know it annoys other onliners, but I always lock my photos and send the password to only those I think have potential, it's allows me control and pick and choose those I think have potential for me. Always be honest in your profile, be a little light hearted but tell the truth otherwise it wastes everyone's time. Go for a coffee with anyone you feel is a potential. I've met many duds who've lied about their height, old pics yadayada but I try and look at it as though you are meeting people you wouldn't otherwise. I've had a mostly positive experience despite the rubbish they sometimes tell, have never felt uncomfortable when we've met. Never give your number or call them straight away, pass 2-3 emails before then. If they can't write you, forget it. I recommend it as a another way, just not the only way to meet new people Link to post Share on other sites
compassion42 Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 I really enjoy online dating. I'm a single mom, work with mostly women, don't go to bars or clubs much and live in a rural area. For me, meeting online is pretty much my best option. I started online dating more than 10 years ago. Met many many "interesting" men in the process. I agree with the idea of meeting early on and keeping that first meeting simple(like for coffee). Someone else mentioned the importance of asking early on in emailing if the person has unresolved feelings for their ex....that's pretty critical too. Even though I have ended up meeting some not so desirable men in the process-I have also had some wonderful relationships and long term committments(5 years once) too. You just never know. Link to post Share on other sites
Eagle362 Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Online dating? Far out personal skills are really going down the drain these days. Meet someone through friends or go out to clubs and bars online dating is so impersonal its not funny. Link to post Share on other sites
EhiPassiko Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Yikes Eagle... There are actually many people that have met and thrived via online dating sites. I think much of the point is that going out to clubs breeds a certain level of "on the hunt" mentality. Who is taking who home at the end of the night? Who gets whose number? Which of your friends is going to be your wingman while the other gets a little loving in the bathroom? Truthfully, it can be far more personal to date online. Not only do you get to read up on someone's hobbies, likes, dislikes, verbal skills, wit, etc, but you get to have an epistolary exchange prior to meeting. If you are keen enough, you can ask the best questions to yield responses that give better insight into the person you have interest in. In person, I think its more physical. And while there is nothing wrong with that, I believe it can be more of a superficial crusade than a personal connection. Bottom line: you can make any form of dating (online, real life, speed, etc) whatever you want it to be... or, don't knock it til you try it. Namaste, Jess Link to post Share on other sites
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