Alastor Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 I'm just curious but do long distances relationship work. Cause I'm kinda of in one as of now. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 I'm just curious but do long distances relationship work. Cause I'm kinda of in one as of now. They work if both of you want them to... Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 It also depends on if there is a resolution in place. Is the distance due to something temporary like an internship where the both of you already know when it will be over or is there any plans in the works for one of you to move to where the other is? I did this. My BF had to move back to DC for schooling. At the time he had to leave, I didn't feel it was a good idea for me to move there and we didn't know how long he would need to be gone. My situation changed three months later and I began looking for a job in DC. But those three months before when everything was up in the air were painful and full of arguments. So glad everything worked out! Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 Sure, I think they can work. Especially if you have a plan to get together in the not-so-distant future. Reminds me of this dude that said if he had to take a toilet stop on the way to see his girlfriend, then that was too far. Haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 I'm just curious but do long distances relationship work. Cause I'm kinda of in one as of now. Hmmm.... My guess is if you really love the person and you both are willing to make sacrafices to make it work than sure why not? How long have you been in the LDR? AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 I'm just curious but do long distances relationship work. Cause I'm kinda of in one as of now. Long Distance Relationships are a lot of work and it takes a lot for it to work. A main reason for LDR to work is trust. Just take your relationship slow and steady, try not to act too bossy or needy, just take it as experiance and fun and see where it goes from there Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I would recommend that you remove yourself from your "kinda in one now" LDR, if at all possible. I recall reading about two on LS, that have worked out well in the long-term. Better to invest in someone who's close enough, that you can be with them in person, therefore, get to know who they really are, instead of the potential smoke and mirrors. One of the members is sb129. You might want to see if you can get her recommendations as to what worked for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Id say they take more work and that I personaly don't even like being in a relationship with a girl over 30 minutes away. Link to post Share on other sites
analyseThis Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 They are just not the same as CDRs (Close Distance Relationships). Your often holding on to the memories that you and your partner have enjoyed and you cherish; but understand with distance comes unfamiliarity. The more you are away from some one the more you begin to grow apart; this is a bad thing. LDRs often leave you longing for something; the human need factor is never really full filled; this either leads to tensions in the relationship, trust issues, and finally giving into the need and start seeking other more suitable partners; even if the one you are with in the LDR is the right one to be with. Simply put LDRs are not really the way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 It's working well for me. Any R takes a lot of work - be it near or far. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Much of LDR's are fantasy. Your partner takes on unrealistic positive characteristics, when in reality, they're not even close to that person. Unless you started your LDR in a real relationship, close by, most fail in the long-term, due to reality crashing headlong into fantasy. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I would never start a relationship LDR... although thats how my parents relationship technicaly started(they met on vacation)... But its not for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Elyssa Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I've posted this in the past, but bears repeating. LDRs are incredibly hard, expensive and emotionally draining. Does they work? Yes, I know from first-hand experience that they work, and I'd do it all over again, but I do not recommend them to anyone unless they've got money, time and an adventurous heart that is not going to be afraid of doing whatever it takes to keep the relationship going. -E Link to post Share on other sites
j_hunt_12 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Of course they can work. There are tons of instances where they have, they just suck really bad, and you really have to have long term interest in that person (depending on the situation, a few months apart doesn't count). Like ask yourself now if this is someone you actually have serious interest in... like to marry. This is especially true if you live in two different countries. What I've always said is that LDRs work a little less often than real relationships "work." DOES "WORK" MEAN GET MARRIED? The only difference is that LDRs are more bad than good before the relationship "works". If a year or two, or three, or four :( of ****yness isn't worth that person you're waiting for then the LDR is not worth even starting. I would be really crazy about your lady/guy and really see him/her as the perfect one for you before you even think about it. But it does depend. Give more details Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Oh and I definetly dont think they work if it stays LDR for too many years. Has to eventualy progress into a regular style relationship Link to post Share on other sites
j_hunt_12 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Yeah KMT is right about that. I've heard stories up to five years before people got together seeing each other for a few weeks a year, but that sounded kind of crazy to me. You got to have a plan to get together in the next couple of years. If your in high school or something or early college without a job and no way to get together for the next five or so years dont even think about it... sorry. You can always meet back later if you're both single. Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 It all depends on the people involved. I was in a long distance relationship which lasted about a year. We seen each other a a few times every month or every other month. But of course it was hard if we had an argument because I felt like no one was there to come an console me. i couldnt spend the holidays with him. I wanted to enjoy things like coming over late nights, or holding hands everyday. But I felt like I was deprived from that. Link to post Share on other sites
InLove4eva Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Trust me, my husband and i had a 3 year long distance relationship and we have been happily married since 2002. The thing with LDR's is that you ahve to know yourlf, be honest AT ALL TIMES about your emotions and re think your whole notion of Love. I found this to be a good article. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]http://www.socyberty.com/Women/Long-Distance-Love-Can-Work.71031[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] see if some of the tips work for you. Let Love rule. InLove. Link to post Share on other sites
Beauty28 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Trust me, my husband and i had a 3 year long distance relationship and we have been happily married since 2002. The thing with LDR's is that you ahve to know yourlf, be honest AT ALL TIMES about your emotions and re think your whole notion of Love. I couldn't agree with you more IL4e. It all depends on the people involved and you have to be HONEST. There were times that it was so so hard to be honest with him... like when I had to explain to him about how I was in a little financial pickle.... LDR's do work.... you just have to brush up on your communication skills. Link to post Share on other sites
catrocks Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Sure they can work, but you have to be very dedicated and put a lot of effort and money into them. I'm not sure I could start a relationship with someone who was already far away (not to say it couldn't work), but if you're with someone and they have to move away, why should you give up what you have just because of the distance? I also agree with KMT that there needs to be a plan to move together within a couple of years - I have one friend who has been in an LDR for 5 years, and on the one hand they have something great and don't want to give it up, but on the other hand, they have no idea when they can be together for good and that puts a great amount of strain on what would otherwise be a great relationship. My LDR worked... many do, but also many do not. It depends on the individual couple and how much they want it to work/ how feasible it is to move together in the near future. Link to post Share on other sites
dancinggal Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 They work but you have to be a very strong person to deal with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Trust me, my husband and i had a 3 year long distance relationship and we have been happily married since 2002. The thing with LDR's is that you ahve to know yourlf, be honest AT ALL TIMES about your emotions and re think your whole notion of Love. Let Love rule. InLove. Right on! It has worked out well for me and BF. Yes, it takes a lot of effort, money and dedication but it's all worth it. We take turns to visit one another and it's been good. He'll be here next week and we'll be looking at houses! Link to post Share on other sites
scottydog Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 LDR do work. As others have said before me, in order for it to work, both people have to have realistic expectations and both want to make it work. I'm currently in a 9 month LDR. Two months of that were spent in the same city before I moved to another city for a job. Come May, she will be moving in with me. It's going to be an interesting transition from not seeing someone except maybe once a month to seeing someone everyday. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. As for LDRs, we do a lot of phone calls, text messages, email and webcam. The common denominator here is communication. Pretty much that's all you have to rely on. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 LDR do work. As others have said before me, in order for it to work, both people have to have realistic expectations and both want to make it work. I'm currently in a 9 month LDR. Two months of that were spent in the same city before I moved to another city for a job. Come May, she will be moving in with me. It's going to be an interesting transition from not seeing someone except maybe once a month to seeing someone everyday. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. As for LDRs, we do a lot of phone calls, text messages, email and webcam. The common denominator here is communication. Pretty much that's all you have to rely on. Lucky you, Scotty! BF and I only get to see each other every 4 months or so because it takes 13 hrs flight to get to where he is and vice versa BUT that will change very soon! Yup, phone calls, smses and webcam - your best friends in LDR! Link to post Share on other sites
LiveKhaos Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I believe LDR's do work, however there needs to be a great sense of dedication and love from both sides. I'm in one right now and to be honest as many of you know...it isn't easy. It can be very sad and lonely, as well as momentarily seen as unrewarding... But the way I see it is if you can't see your relationship as something that has the ability to evolve into long term...then there's no point in pursuing it... Sometimes as humans we need the physical, we need the simple touch of our significant other's...however when you grow old what are you going to have left? Whats going to hold you together? And whats going to keep you closer? I'll tell you that its each other, it's your love and care for one another...not the physical. So to all of us who are in an LDR...keep your heads held high and never give up... Link to post Share on other sites
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