CONFUSED_COOKIE Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 OK guys, I have a problem - I have been sharing a dorm with a girl for about 5 months now. Well, from the beginning we got along really well and we have gotten sort of close lately. Like, I wouldn't be afraid to tell her anything. Well, the other night, I went out with some friends from my hometown that had come up to visit me for the weekend. I told my roomate that I might not come back that night because me and my friends had talked about getting a hotel room and crashing because there was about 8 of us and my dorm room is kind of small.....Anyway - I decided to come on back to the dorm, because my friends decided to go back home a little early. It was about 1:00am when I got back to the dorm and when I walked in, my roomate was in the bed, naked, going down on another girl!!! I was totally shocked!!!! I just went back outside and just stood there in shock. I mean I never ever knew that my roomate was Bi-sexual. I know she's not a lesbian because she dates guys too. But this was such a shock to me, because I am soooo not into that. But anyway, the girl left a few minutes later and when I went back in, my roomate just looked at me and said "sorry" and turned over and went to sleep. There was such an akward tension in the room and it has been that way for a week now. I don't want this akwardness to last, but we have barely said two words to each other since that happened, and I don't know what to say to her. I don't know how to talk to her about it, and it really grossed me out. What should I do to break this awkwardness? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 You ought to get this out in the open as soon as possible. However, what she does in her personal space is none of your business. Apologize for coming home early, unexpected and intruding on her personal business. Let her know you felt awkward, embarassed and uncomfortable....but she is entitled to her own personal space and activities. Let her know make no judgements but you want to clear the air so things are back to normal. This could have been a one time deal, a curiosity thing, and she may never be involved with a woman again. I don't know what kind of arrangements you have for conducting aspects of your relationships in your living quarters but I suggest you define those so the two of you are clear on that. I personally would not have a female roommate who regularly brought in other females for sex, whether or not I was invited to join in. In this case, it was your fault for clearing the way for her. However, the fact that she has someone over indicates she is needing the space for doing so and she might just want to get another place to live with more privacy. Talking things out will resolve a lot, as long as it is done with understanding, sensitivity and discretion. P.S. It is only necessary to post in one appropriate category. By doing so, ALL visitors will see it and have the choice of responding. Placing a duplicate post in multiple categories will subject all but one to deletion. Many thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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