armywife915 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Ok so my mom is a little crazy. She used to be agreat mother. Ever since my grandfather passed 4 years ago she has become quite an alcoholic. So when my little sister called me crying because my mom was passed out I went to pick her and my brother up. I took them to my dad's and my mom woke up and called my dad and said she would be at his house in 20 minutes to get them so he called the cops because she has a tendency to go a little crazy. The police took her to the hospital to get tested for drugs and alcohol which both were negative so she called me to come get her. When I got there the cop said she tried to leave and gave him attitude so he was arresting her. What the heck???? So now I sit here all night waiting for her to call so I know what's going on. I know she is going to blame this whole thing on me since I am the one that went to get the kids. How do I help her to realize she has a problem? I am just at my wits end. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Ouchie! A sensitive and delicate situation you are in. You don't say how old your siblings are but if they're still minors, then of course you did the responsible thing. If/when your mom blames you, it would be important that you do not take the blame. Everything that happened is a consequence of HER behaviour. If those are minors, she acted irresponsibly and negligently. And just plain "stupid" for pi$$ing off a cop to that extent. Whatever words she uses to try to put it on you, you can use one single thought: "Mom, you acted irresponsibly, negligently and stupidly...how is that MY fault?" Say that same thing 100 times if you need to. You don't need any more justification for your actions than that. And if it's because you were a challenging pregnancy and difficult delivery (joking but doesn't hurt to be prepared for something dumb -- people say the craziest things when being asked to face their own cr@p), then "Mom, you should have seen a therapist about that years ago...I am NOT taking responsibility for your past, your present, or your future." I'm not sure that you are the best person to confront/intervene about her drinking (it depends on the rest of your relationship.) Is there another friend or family member whom SHE trusts and respects enough to at least listen to what they have to say? Or a faith leader, perhaps? This needs to be someone that your mom would choose -- not necessarily someone that you would choose for her (if that makes sense?) If you are going to tackle it yourself, there are guidelines for doing it effectively -- with love and concern. You may want to do a google search ('intervention tips' or somesuch) so you can be better prepared and also do the best job of it that you're able. Best of luck. It's a difficult situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Always Wrong Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Holy smokes Ronni, that was another good one. Nice job! Sounds like, from your title, armywife915, your mother already has you believing you're responsible. If this is true, it's a classic sign of co-dependency. Don't let her take you there. It's not you fault! Link to post Share on other sites
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