Not sure

[sad237]

This is complicated. About three years ago I meet this chick and we both seemed to like the other and were both single. I did not know that she was still getting over someone. And I kind of was too.

 

We kissed once and I thought it was the start of something. We talked on the phone the next day and it sounded like she felt like it was the start of something too. Then later she said it was a mistake. We ended up trying to be friends but she ended up not wanting to talk to me and we did not talk for two years.

 

Two years later she gets in contact with me. Said she misses me and wants to be friends again. She has a boyfriend now. I felt like telling her no thanks cause I felt hurt that she ditched me and ended up with someone else.

 

We became friends again and I learn fast things are not so great with her boyfriend of two years. I act like a friend and give her advice and help her through the hard times. Fast forward to this DEC07 she calls me one night tells me she has feelings for me and is not sure what to do. I tell her we can't do anything if you are with your current boyfriend.

 

Her and her current boyfriend go on a break, and on xmas eve we "hooked up" she finished things off with him shortly there after. She said she did not want to let anyone know about us for now cause she did not want it getting back to her ex and she did not want people thinking she was a slut going from guy to guy. She also had concerns about her daughter thinking she was a slut. I said I understood thinking it was no big deal give her a week or so.

 

After a couple of weeks of "sneaking around" come over when her daughter was asleep, and not being able to tell anyone who I was spending time with cause we have lots of the same friends. I felt like I was being used and this could go no place if it has to be a big secret for who knows how long. So I ended it today. She seemed to agree she was not ready for anything and it was unfair. Now I'm left feeling like a very sad pile of crap. She wants to be friends still and I'm thinking its best for me (i also have some serious depression problems) if I not be friends with her. But I know that will upset her big time. I don't think I can take it. I feel used and worthless. What should I do?

[Ronni_W]

...I'm thinking its best for me (i also have some serious depression problems) if I not be friends with her. But I know that will upset her big time. I don't think I can take it. I feel used and worthless. What should I do?

Definitely, undoubtedly do what you feel is best for yourself.

 

She needs to learn how to deal with her upset in more mature ways than just taking up with the next nice guy who happens to be in her sights -- you can help her with that by saying, "I'm sorry that you're choosing to be upset, but I need to take care of me here," and just WALK AWAY.

 

That sucks, that she used you this way. Do everything you can to make sure she doesn't do that to you, again.