JamesM Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I think part of the ease of friendship and ease of conversation is not only because it is anonymous, but because we "attach" based only (for the most part) on personality and mental connection. This is not a "love at first sight" place. It is a connection on an emotional and mental level. Interestingly enough, thanks to the picture threads, I have a collection of photos of some of the posters, and this is how I think of them when I read their posts. I can honestly say that there is a mental picture I have for the rest...even if I have no actual picture of them. I think most people have found as I have that as time progresses, we develop a pretty good idea of who is behind each LS Name. As has been said, many I would love to meet in real life. But then the question becomes...would we still have the same connection and friendship? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 But then the question becomes...would we still have the same connection and friendship? I doubt it. My best friend had a similar attachment to another message board. They actually DID get together for thanksgiving one year. She said the reality of their meeting was a lot of awkward silences and weird looks. She said there was a definite disconnect between the way they related online and the way they related IRL. IRL there are so many other factors to socializing. Online is a distillation of social interaction, with a lot of filters and safety nets. After she had her meet up with her fellow posters, they all pretty much stopped posting... Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Interestingly enough, thanks to the picture threads, I have a collection of photos of some of the posters, Where do you keep the pictures? If i didn't know you better JamesM, I would think that was kinda creeeepy and stalkerish!. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 And let's not forget as Lizzie said, we are Dear Abbys to each other. This is the main thing many of us have in common. So, while my interests IRL may be completely different from the ones of those who I have the deepest friendships here, we connect because of our common bonds. And when we meet here, we discuss what we have in common...not what we do not. If we meet in real life, then we are faced with conversations with no delete button and no log out button. Here we talk when we want and leave when we want. We can be dressed in PJs (or nothing ) and still be dignified and outgoing. All of that changes when we come face to face. Outward appearances become a factor. I agree, blind otter, many of us who are friends here would lose that friendship if we met IRL. Yet this "escape friendship" here helps in so many ways to deal with real life...so why ruin it? I can say that there are so many times that I bring questions here that I do not feel free asking IRL, but then there are also things I learn here that I can pass on IRL. LS is a great asset, but it is not real life. When the two become muddled, I think (IMO) that the value it has is lost for most people. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Where do you keep the pictures? If i didn't know you better JamesM, I would think that was kinda creeeepy and stalkerish!. I have a wall in my attic with newspaper articles and LS photos. How well DO you know me? It is my LS Wall of Fame. No, seriously, a few months ago, some of us posted our pictures on a picture thread. And a couple of those are on my computer. I doubt I am the only one, and I do not think I got more than a few (most posted when I was not on line ), but it does help to put a face to a couple of posters still here. And there are a number of posters who use their faces as their avatar. So, I guess it sounds better than reality. My point was that while I do have a couple of pictures, the mental picture I have of many people and even my mental picture of those who I saw is what I think of when I read the posts. SB, now I think of a camel when I think of you! See what an avatar does? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I remember the thread. I put my photo on for a while. I am not as grumpy as that camel. Except for maybe once every 28 days. And my teeth are better. Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 PS- Oppath- would you let this anywhere near your boner? <==================================== Are you talking about the camel's mouth? One hump? Or two? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 They are all sensitive people.Not everyone. All are givers and not takers. You know that you have moved on when you visit LS less frequently and when you do so, it will be to share success stories about the new YOU or the new lovely person in your life. YOU WILL THEN HAVE MOVED ON.Nope, the ones that heal and move on tend to be takers. There are thousands of members who haven't tried to help anyone. They post on LS to get help, then wander off. Some do this as a repetitious pattern. I appreciate that there are many people on here who have moved on, but who continue to visit LS to support others. That is highgly commendable. Nomad1 People stay because there is an interesting dynamic between members. We're all emo-types... Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 The ones who stay (with a few exceptions) tend to be the best writers. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 We are all addicted to this place and are now major procrastinators with every other aspect of our lives.:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 What an interesting observation Story. I batted around the idea and my knee-jerk reaction was more, "clear communicators" but in attempting to apply my theory, your theory was far more realistic. Link to post Share on other sites
randuff Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I just come here so I can see Lizzie's boobs. Link to post Share on other sites
Lee725 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I just come here so I can see Lizzie's boobs. :lmao: Honesty ... i love it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I think what we have in common is a desire to chat about the issues here and with each other. Simple, really. I do wonder what happens when/if LS'er meet in real life... Isn't it funny how people you think you "know" so well in certain aspects of life (online) can seem awkward acquaintances, at best, in real life? I think this is because there is a certain amount of "fantasy," if you will, that goes along with the limited knowledge one has of another person when a relationship is based on text/internet only. If you really want to have any sort of "real" relationship with another, it is best to dispell those notions, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 (edited) I think a lot of people on here secretly want to bone one-another but can't because of distance. We come back after we have healed because we like to flirt, connect, and be intimate with those we'd like to bone. I know that is crude, but there are many women on LS who I would date in real life. I come back because it is enjoyable to talk to quality women. It gives me hope and motivation that there are more out there, in my city even, and that eventually I will find them. This is honestly why I come back. I'm impressed by the quality of women here. It's fun to connect to them and support them and sometimes flirt with them. Take that with a grain of salt. Yep I agree with all of this. Well, replace female with male, and you get the point I do so love to flirt with the darling LS lads Edited January 8, 2008 by darlin_coco Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 :lmao: Honesty ... i love it. I know it's odd.... but I feel the same way. Can't keep my eyes off them. I been posting here for a long time. I found this place originally when I was going through a break up. I did leave the forum for a while- only because I felt that coming back here on a daily basis lamenting about my ex wasn't helping me move forward. I have come back because I missed the banter. I do notice many posters that stick to their own personal threads and never make an effort to offer opinions or advice to others. I simply cease to post in those threads. Reciprocity... That's what keeps this forum interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Lee725 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I found the site sifting through the internet looking for potions i could feed my ex to make his "whoo hoo" shrivel up and drop off... (joking, i was looking for support group like this one - happily i found the best one!) I think it is great, strangers reaching out to each other, it makes me feel that there is hope and good people on this earth especially when so many nasty things are happening around us and in the world. I am not sure how i would have coped without LS, one thing i can say with certainty is that my drinking problem would be ALOT worse. LOL I am with you D-Lish i have noticed that too (the personal thread thing). Sad but i guess some people are selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I am with you D-Lish i have noticed that too (the personal thread thing). Sad but i guess some people are selfish. Yes, I find it annoying and I stop participating in those posters threads. I could mention a particular poster.... but I'd get a Tony Lashing...lol. Even when I was at my worst- I found that helping and answering other posters was as cathartic as talking about my own issues. The one thing I worry about is that someone I know will find this forum and recognize me...lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 What an interesting observation Story. I batted around the idea and my knee-jerk reaction was more, "clear communicators" but in attempting to apply my theory, your theory was far more realistic. Well, thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 They are all sensitive people. All are givers and not takers. You know that you have moved on when you visit LS less frequently and when you do so, it will be to share success stories about the new YOU or the new lovely person in your life. YOU WILL THEN HAVE MOVED ON. I appreciate that there are many people on here who have moved on, but who continue to visit LS to support others. That is highgly commendable. Nomad1 Yep, I pretty much agree. I just visit to pass on the knowledge this site and life in general has given to me. Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Yep, I pretty much agree. I just visit to pass on the knowledge this site and life in general has given to me. I just wish somebody could condense it into a guide, or something. Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I just wish somebody could condense it into a guide, or something. One almost could. Take all the advise on all different topics, break down topics into chapters, and fill in chapters with the details of advice given and use some stories as guide points to lead to the advice, fake names of course. Then you have an LS guide book to life. Link to post Share on other sites
Florida Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 (edited) I visit/write because: -I'm searching for answers I'll never find, but that's okay -procrastinating -seeing other people posting pure feelings that I relate to -being able to help, hopefully -part sociology experiment. I like to note what people respond to, what starts fights, observe how alliances are formed, how issues are resolved. -I think about the personalities here during my day to day activities -I would post more than I do except like D-lish said, it really ups the chances of being recgonized by history/stories by people who may not have the best intentions (edit: by people who stumble on the site in the future). -It makes me feel like I helped -Some amount of showing off knowledge, and thriving on when debate is sparked to hopefully gain more knowledge, or some gem that would not have come out otherwise -Reminding myself no one is perfect -Making observations and wondering if they are as true as I think they may be based on what I read/observe -Stating an opinion to expand my boundaries of being quiet and taking chances, even if I know the opinion will not be recieved well -as long as i know my heart is in the right place Most importantly..... -A reality check: I ask myself before writing: -Am I posting to vent and get rid of any anger ? -to preach? -to be petty and all "look at me *I* wouldn't have done *that*" -Am I ganging up on a poster and ridiculing? If I can answer "no" to all the above then I know my heart is in the right place, it helps me keep myself in check in real life too. Edited January 8, 2008 by Florida Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 And let us not forget that some posters are looking for tail. It just is what it is I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Tail or cyber-tale? Link to post Share on other sites
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