Havn_a_life Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 (edited) Oh I didn't realise he was a drug addict, so they were both exactly the same thing, only you love him but she was a "whore". See what I mean....? anyway, people do all sorts of nutty stuff while under the influence it's like they are possessed by another being. Any woman who willingly has sex with a guy because that's how he wants to pay for his "fix" is a whore. A crack whore. Edited January 9, 2008 by Havn_a_life n/a Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Well, I did say he was a whore too so if the shoe fits.... I do know now that he is not (he has to submit to random drug testing) as for her, she was at the time- I have no idea now and I don't really give a sh**. I do feel sorry for her H and children though. I can only imagine what she's taking home to him. And that's the really sad thing. That woman is 'spreading" her lifestyle to anyone she can. I feel for her H and kids too. They don't deserve to have trash like that in their lives, no more than your kids and yourself deserved it, jj. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I would be SO UTTERLY offended if my husband did me in for a drug whore I could never EVER touch him again. Yuck! Me neither.. yuck... Link to post Share on other sites
Can'tGiveUp Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I would be disappointed in him as a H if he even came on here(like he did) and comment like that, even if he didn't cheat on her. Really? Well I value his honesty. He has just given a valid male experience...I guess it is a good thing he's not your H. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 OpenBook, I assume that your are smarter than this and you are just trying to make me look like I'm contradicting myself, but I will answer this anyway. No, I was genuinely confused. Thank you for kindly clearing it up for me. Current Affair (this thread) vs. Reconciling the M (irrelevant OW). Got it. All I'm saying is that if the MM really does love you and really has no love for his wife, you are both doing everyone a disservice by living the lie. The truth allows the two people in love (OW and MM) the freedom to experience that love openly. At the same time it gives the BW the truth about what is happening in her world and the ability to make choices based on that truth. It's been my observation that in the vast majority of MM/OW situations, there is still some residual love (or SOMETHING) still remaining between the MM and his W. Otherwise, I think the divorce rate would be way higher than 50% because a lot more MM would up and leave than actually do. Men typically do not like to leave their W's, no matter how miserable they've become in the M, or how much in love they are with the OW. Typically the MM is very confused himself, having not previously thought it was possible to love more than one woman. And of course, factoring in the fact that he CAN love two women at the same time... and get away with it. I see what you're saying, herenow, but I believe the reality of it isn't so black-and-white. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Really? Well I value his honesty. He has just given a valid male experience...I guess it is a good thing he's not your H. Yep, it sure is. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Hum... I think that if it was really easy to leave his W..and there were no children involved and it wasn't so darn expensive... a lot more MM would leave their W. I don't think they 'like' being in a miserable M... I doubt that very much... They just 'hate' the fact that they will lose half of what they've worked so hard... and they will have to start all over again... It has nothing to do with the W. In most case, there is NO love involved anymore.... just 'a good friendship' that they would gladly exchange for their OW. OK.. let's take the W out of the M and put the OW in there... and nothing else would be changed... that would be their 'ideal' situation... trust me on that one... Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Hum... I think that if it was really easy to leave his W..and there were no children involved and it wasn't so darn expensive... a lot more MM would leave their W. #1 I don't think they 'like' being in a miserable M... I doubt that very much... They just 'hate' the fact that they will lose half of what they've worked so hard... and they will have to start all over again... #2 It has nothing to do with the W. In most case, there is NO love involved anymore.... just 'a good friendship' that they would gladly exchange for their OW. OK.. let's take the W out of the M and put the OW in there... and nothing else would be changed... that would be their 'ideal' situation... trust me on that one... Who likes being in a miserable M? LOL I'm sure the W, putting up with the guy, even before she knows he's cheating on her, likes his crappy idea of M. Cause, let's face it, a MM who's willing to screw around on his W behind her back ain't too nice a character, ya know? Regardless of what he tells the OW. Sure, he doesn't wanna lose all the dough he made. Yeah, and all those mean wives haven't contributed one bit. And if it didn't have to do with his W at all, I'd say he'd have left her and went to the OW. Love your theories, but, I don't think they wash too well, not with everyone anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Who likes being in a miserable M? LOL I'm sure the W, putting up with the guy, even before she knows he's cheating on her, likes his crappy idea of M. Cause, let's face it, a MM who's willing to screw around on his W behind her back ain't too nice a character, ya know? Regardless of what he tells the OW. Sure, he doesn't wanna lose all the dough he made. Yeah, and all those mean wives haven't contributed one bit. And if it didn't have to do with his W at all, I'd say he'd have left her and went to the OW. Love your theories, but, I don't think they wash too well, not with everyone anyway. I wish we could all live by your own shining example of a happy marriage. Your H must feel so lucky to be M to a woman like you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Well, I did say he was a whore too so if the shoe fits.... I do know now that he is not (he has to submit to random drug testing) as for her, she was at the time- I have no idea now and I don't really give a sh**. I do feel sorry for her H and children though. I can only imagine what she's taking home to him. A whore is someone who gets payed ($$) to have sex. just thought I would define the word for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Any woman who willingly has sex with a guy because that's how he wants to pay for his "fix" is a whore. A crack whore. A crack whore would be a person addicted to crack and who sells their body so they can pay for their next Crack fix. Why would she she sell her body if he is the one with the problem? Unless she is the dealer and is horney and he can't pay for his drugs!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 No, I was genuinely confused. Thank you for kindly clearing it up for me. Current Affair (this thread) vs. Reconciling the M (irrelevant OW). Got it. It's been my observation that in the vast majority of MM/OW situations, there is still some residual love (or SOMETHING) still remaining between the MM and his W. Otherwise, I think the divorce rate would be way higher than 50% because a lot more MM would up and leave than actually do. Men typically do not like to leave their W's, no matter how miserable they've become in the M, or how much in love they are with the OW. Typically the MM is very confused himself, having not previously thought it was possible to love more than one woman. And of course, factoring in the fact that he CAN love two women at the same time... and get away with it. I see what you're saying, herenow, but I believe the reality of it isn't so black-and-white. Maybe that "something" is child support and alimony!!! My mm and I went to attorney and the estimate on CS and Alimoney was over 8000 Grand a month. Yes you read that right, that is eight thousand dollars a month! Plus she gets half of everything. I think THAT is the " something" of why many stay Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Hum... I think that if it was really easy to leave his W..and there were no children involved and it wasn't so darn expensive... a lot more MM would leave their W. I don't think they 'like' being in a miserable M... I doubt that very much... They just 'hate' the fact that they will lose half of what they've worked so hard... and they will have to start all over again... It has nothing to do with the W. In most case, there is NO love involved anymore.... just 'a good friendship' that they would gladly exchange for their OW. OK.. let's take the W out of the M and put the OW in there... and nothing else would be changed... that would be their 'ideal' situation... trust me on that one... very well put Lizzy. My mm once said he wishes his W would just have an accident, sounds horrible, but that way , he could have bth child and me, and not pay out the nose forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Can'tGiveUp Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Really? Well I value his honesty. He has just given a valid male experience...I guess it is a good thing he's not your H. Yep, it sure is. Well, I think I would rather have an H like Moose who discusses the temptation and what he is missing at home, works on the M and never has an A, than an H whose OW phones my house and tells my children. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 very well put Lizzy. My mm once said he wishes his W would just have an accident, sounds horrible, but that way , he could have bth child and me, and not pay out the nose forever. And your MM is a shining example of why there pooper scoopers in the world. His is a huge cow pile. To wish something would happen to the woman he married of his own free will so he could have the child and his side dish. To be raised by two people with such sterling character traits. Over money. Surely you are worth more than a mere $$$$ a month. Surely his love for you transcends dollars. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 (((Also, I don't know any mother that would choose to destroy her H by using, and at the same time destroying, her kids. I don't think that's the norm. Just me I guess.)))) I know a BS who told thier adult children the minute she found out. so it does happen. My MM's W hasn't hestitated to "use" her kids before, to get her H back, so the likelihood she'd do so again was always there. MM pre-empted it by telling them first, long before he told his W, in a calm, rational context of discussing his plans to leave his W. But his kids are teens, so that kind of discussion is possible. With younger kids it would need to be handled differently. Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 All I'm saying is that if the MM really does love you and really has no love for his wife, you are both doing everyone a disservice by living the lie. The truth allows the two people in love (OW and MM) the freedom to experience that love openly. At the same time it gives the BW the truth about what is happening in her world and the ability to make choices based on that truth. That sounds very reasonable, but what it actually is is an argument that the BW should have all the facts in order that she should be able to freely choose her own destiny. Obviously there is nothing wrong with that! And in fact of course any BW (who prefers the truth, and choice) would be in agreement with it. Unfortunately as an argument for 'what the MM should do' it just doesn't add up. Because the MM obviously wants things to remain as they are unless he's ready for change. Yes, he is being unfair on both women, whether they know of his cheating or not. It's not fair, but it is logical, from his point of view. What does MM have to gain from telling his W what he's doing? If he were going to divorce he would more easily do that by not revealing his OW and opening another can of worms. After all, if he wants to divorce, his W no longer has a 'choice' in continuing the marriage since that would require two willing parties. If he wants to stay, why risk his W kicking him out by 'coming clean'? Men who have affairs are usually the type to want a quiet life, avoid confrontation, keep the status quo... none of that is compatable with coming clean. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I wish we could all live by your own shining example of a happy marriage. Your H must feel so lucky to be M to a woman like you. Oh, I'm the last person to try and brag at how wonderful my M has been. However, for the last several years since my H cheated and returned to the M home, he's been doing hard work trying to fix his faults of why he cheated, etc. Does he feel lucky? I don't know, I've never asked him. Do I care if he feels lucky? Not really. That's not the point we're together now. We have a pretty decent M now. I'm happy with it. He's happy with it. If he wasn't, I'd say he'd have done cheated again by now. And I would be D from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 (edited) A whore is someone who gets payed ($$) to have sex. just thought I would define the word for you. Not necessarily... whore [ (hôr, hōr) n.<LI minmax_bound="true">A prostitute. <LI minmax_bound="true">A person considered sexually promiscuous.A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain. Edited January 9, 2008 by Havn_a_life n/a Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 A crack whore would be a person addicted to crack and who sells their body so they can pay for their next Crack fix. Why would she she sell her body if he is the one with the problem? Unless she is the dealer and is horney and he can't pay for his drugs!! Well, it sounds like that was the case. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Maybe that "something" is child support and alimony!!! My mm and I went to attorney and the estimate on CS and Alimoney was over 8000 Grand a month. Yes you read that right, that is eight thousand dollars a month! Plus she gets half of everything. I think THAT is the " something" of why many stay It really must suck when the MM they are having an A with doesn't think they're worth coughing up that much money just to get out of the "awful" M to be with the real woman that he (MM) loves. That would really burn my breeches! Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 very well put Lizzy. My mm once said he wishes his W would just have an accident, sounds horrible, but that way , he could have bth child and me, and not pay out the nose forever. No, mino, that just shows how much of a loser you're wanting in your life. I'd be wondering if he would one day put that attitude toward me when I lived out my usefullness. What a sleaze bag! Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Well' date=' I think I would rather have an H like Moose who discusses the temptation and what he is missing at home, works on the M and never has an A, than an H whose OW phones my house and tells my children.[/quote'] Well, we can't have all our way now can we? Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 And your MM is a shining example of why there pooper scoopers in the world. His is a huge cow pile. To wish something would happen to the woman he married of his own free will so he could have the child and his side dish. To be raised by two people with such sterling character traits. Over money. Surely you are worth more than a mere $$$$ a month. Surely his love for you transcends dollars. Obviously not if he's still with that horrible W. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 My MM's W hasn't hestitated to "use" her kids before, to get her H back, so the likelihood she'd do so again was always there. MM pre-empted it by telling them first, long before he told his W, in a calm, rational context of discussing his plans to leave his W. But his kids are teens, so that kind of discussion is possible. With younger kids it would need to be handled differently. I'm seeing you are referring to MM in the present tense and he's still a M man. Obviously, W's ploys are working or MM would leave her for you. I would be hesitant to judge the woman, since she seems to have some sway over her H. I would wonder just how much he really loved you, if he's still swayed by her. Don't know your story, so don't know if he left W for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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