HarryR Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I did as suggested and quit calling and emailing her about a week ago, ,,today, she left a note on my machine, saying she needed to pick up some clothes and clothes for the kids,I called her and told her it would be ok to come over and do that, said she hoped she wasnt interupting anything for me, Told her no she wasnt and that she could come over now if she wanted, she started crying off and on the whole time she was here, We hugged each other a few times, I asked her if she needed any money, she said she didnt want to do that to me says she didnt want me to do that, well after about an hour of packing the truck loaded not everything but most of her things. I asked her again to let me give her some money, she said ok, told her to follw me to the teller machine, when we got there I walked over and handed her the money rolled up so she wouldnt see how much it was, and then we talked for a few minutes while I held her hand and she help mine, she kept looking at my eyes and then she said I was the best friend she had in the world, and had that I had done so much for her , then she said she loves me and has beeen staying at her moms house, we both held each other again and both started crying in the parking lot holding each other,, told her she was my best friend also and that I loved her with everything in my being, and would always love her, she said about the same words back to me and that she would always love me and misses me, I told her to not be a stranger, she said for me not to be either and that I know where she is staying , says she would email sometime to say hi , that I could email her at work , I then suggested maybe sometime we could go to a concert together, she asked which one, told her willie nelson, she said that is tonight, even though I thought it was in feb, either way , I smiled at her and said with that tonight works for me, we both started laughing she was still crying though, she said she just couldnt do that to night, She told me to let her know when the concert will be and maybe we could go,she didnt think she would have any fun if it were tonight, , I wiped the tears from her cheek, we held each other and both cried and we both said that we loved each other and always would,,,told me she wishes me good luck ,,still crying we drove off and I just fell apart on the way back home, I dont understand what is happening here, she kept tellijng me she had let me down , I told her it was me that had let her down ,told her she was so awesome and had always been there for me too, Said to her that we had accomplished so much in the six last years together and she agreed, then we kissed twice and then said our goodbyes, and dorve off , ,I dont understand what is in her mind,,, I really do not kow what is going on , its tearing me apart ,any idea what is going through her mind,? I am so confused about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 I could really use someones advice on this, how to proceed or not. Im confused, and really have no one to talk to about this. Thank you in advance Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Not sure I really understand. Why aren't you two together? If I better understand I can better help you. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused9 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I'm not really sure what your story is, but, it sounds like she may just need some time. You both need some time. Obviously seeing each other is to hard right now for both of you. I hope this gets easier on you. I really have no words of advice, besides take care of YOURSELF!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Harry, Are you married? Separated? Dating issues? Please give us a backdrop to your current situation and we will do our best to help you. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkRibbon Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I don't have an answer but it makes me want to cry for you. Link to post Share on other sites
MissCourtney Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 In order for me to give you some advice, I need to know why ya'll broke up, were ya'll married? It sounds like ya'll love each other so much. Im sorry that you are feeling pain right now. -c Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I read your other thread and still don't get it. I thought that would clarify but it didn't. Many more details of the history please. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 Sorry, the is the one I posted a couple weeks ago, [sIZE=2]http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1464254#post1464254 , we had a big argument, no pushing hittin , anything like that. [/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 Her father recently passed away, she had been abused sexually by him over a period of years when she was young, I did my best to nuture her through all that pain she was carrying, we lived together almost from the beginning of us metting, Her mother is needy, and has always wanted her back home to take care of her, I understand that, I knew her parents begore her and I met, they liked me and I would sit on the patio with her father and play the 6 string, the second we arre together that changed, , my lover seems fight ot flight to me, always has and guess that made me a bit insecure knowing that. We got alonf went to church together got babtized together, will write more later Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 9, 2008 Author Share Posted January 9, 2008 I found a personal ad she put on line so I think the mystery is now solved. Thanks anyway for your help guys. Im just going to move on now. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Hey Harry, Its actually quite a common grief response, to push you away like she did when she just lost her father. My ex did exactly the same - he was totally adamant that we would never ever be anything but friends again - and has been kind of showing interest ever since even tho I went NC etc..finally ending up with us getting back together (except now i am not sure I feel the same as I did - maybe we're not right together now but thats irrelevant to this post)! He even dated another girl in the meantime before we got back together, so dont necessarily freak out completely about the personal ad... If she split wth you cause of her father you might get back together in time...who knows but it is certainly possible! Id give her all the space she needs and in time she might come back to you. Took me n my ex about 8 months tho... Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 How did you find a personal ad? This is very confusing but it seems you have it sorted out now Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 I found it from the country usic channle we listened too, is that a wrong A WRONG THAING?????????? gEEZ, iVE BEEN SELLING EVERYTHING i OWNED AFTER SEEEING IT, i DID EMAIL HER JUST SO THE LIES STOPPED, LET HER KNOW AND ON WHAT ISTE i SAW HER AD, i WAS POLITE, AND i WILL CONTINUE TO BE, TILL HELL FREEZES OVER,,,,,,,,,,, i ASKED HER WHEN SHE WOULD LIKE TO GET THE REST OF THIER THINGS OUT, MENTIONED POLITLY THAT ?i SAW HER AD, SHE REPLIED SHE WAS DOING THAT BECUASE OF OUT TWO GIRL DUAGHHHHTERS, SHE WAS JUST LOOKING FOR FRIENDS NOTHING, ELSE, i REPLIED yOU HAD A FRIEND SOMEONE CONVINCED YOU OYHTWIDE, ,,, SH ERPLIED SHE DIDNT KNOW THAT WOULD UPSRT, MR,????? hMM, HER ON A DATING SITR, KIKE THAT WOULD UPSET ME, IS IT JUST ME, ,,,,,,TOLD HER IF SHE WANTED TO TALK YEARS FROM NOW, LET ME KNOW, MEANWHILE i HAVE BEEN SELLLING EVERYTHING WE HAVE, AM MOVING OUT OF ARIZONA, i ONT PLAY THIS **** WITH NO ONE,,,,,,,,IF SHE LOVED ME TWO DAYS AGO, HUGS ME TELLS ME ME LOVES ME, MISSES ME WHAT THE HELL AM i MISSNG? dO i MOVE OUT OF TOWN OR GIRLS WHAT IS SHE TELLING ME? iD DTAY HERE AND WALK KTHROUGH FIRE BAREFOOT FOR HER, WHATS GOING ON? i MEAN IF IT CAN WORK iLL STAY , IF iM BEING USED iM OUT OF HERE, Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 NONE OF IT MADE SENCE TO ME OK, WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER TO CLOSR TO 7 YEARS ,HERE IS MY STORY we got in this huge argument over the phone, she was in florida for a week for her job, first time since we have been together IN ALL THOSE YEARS, , without all the details, we argued over the phone the day before she was to fly back home, she was supposed to calL my sister there in town and go see them before she left, instead she calls me obviously had been drinking and with an attitude, which Ill tell ya I dinnt like one bit, she denied she was drinking, so I said I thought we were supposed to be honest with each other, then being a real smart ass she said in the bar downstairs, this dint sound like her at all to me, I asked her if she was with anyone and she started screaming iM STANDING UP FOR MYSRLF, i WENT WELL OK THEN DO SO,, so it went full blown argument at that point where I said ok so your 3000 miles away Im baby sitting THE KIDS (SORRY BOUT THE CAPS) iM LISTENING TO THE COUNTRY SONG i GOT A BRANF NEW GIRLFRIEND, ) i NEVER CHEATED, TO MY KNOWLEDGE SHE NEVER DID EITHER, SO i SAY while your in florida screwing someone else, then all hell busted loose, that was it,,All hel busted loose, I think she had a female rfirend there at her job that shut e down, thats my belief well lastnight I found a personal ad on a dating site, it broke my heart to see it, even though it wasnt a big come one type ad it said she was looking for someone to spend some time with but not all the time, and to talk, ,have fun, so I emailed her late lastnight at her work,j, but I was very polite about it and told her i had noticed her ad,,,,,i said I hope she found what she was looking for finally and to let me know sometime when she was going to come get the rest of girls clothes and stuff,,,I was very calm and polite about it,, she replied,this morning , Am I not only susposed to be broken hearted ,lose my house etc , or be stupid again, duh?? Remeber I meantioned that I had seen her ad online, The following is what I said and her reply, then you tell me, ok,,,,, Her REPLY ,,,,,,,, [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]hi they just took what they actually wear to school i can come and get the rest this weekend thanks that ad was the girls idea they are on there with me and watch everything and i havent found a thiing still not looking for anything just friends [/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=#0000ff]==============================================================[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]MY REPLY You [/COLOR][COLOR=#000000]had a friend here but seems someone convinced you other wise, i know I was always there for you, anyway, I will try to find some boxes the week or just come and ge tthe things like you did last time, i wont bother you while you are here , you dont have to worry about [/COLOR] ========================================================= HER REPLY [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]ok will do it like that i never thought of you as not a friend im sorry if i upset you that way ill let you know about the girls coming by then maybe some evening next week then [/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 asked her very politly when they would come for the rst of thier thinngs, yeah I mentioned I saw her ad on a personal ad, here i [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]ok will do it like that i never thought of you as not a friend im sorry if i upset you that way ill let you know about the girls coming by then maybe some evening next week then [/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]thanks[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] ok after six years guys nad gals, Im lost here, do I sell the house, move to ft lauderdale, or do I do as my spirit keeos tell me, BE STILL, anyone been this place before, Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 Ive posted all I know, hope that ws enough, Im ready to leave town, as in never ever comingback, the second I saw her ad did it for me, it was like daggers through my soul,,,,,,,wont chase that, cant be done, Illl go frink,, vry in my beers, meet somene new, cnat handle this crap,,,,,,thanks for letttingme vent, Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Do you really want to pack up and move over the pain caused by some one else? Do you honestly think running from the pain will be leaving it at the place you'd be leaving? It would follow you. Just please bear that in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 I am guessing by your typing that you are pretty drunk Your wife putting herself on a dating site so soon and with your daughters permission seems a tad strange Are there things you are not telling us? Link to post Share on other sites
lbj123 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Harry...you sound like you are being very self destructive and that is not the answer. You are a good person and you cannot beat yourself up. I am worried that you are moving too quickly, picking up and running away which not the answer. Take some deep breaths and give yourself at least a couple of days to think about yourself. You need to calm yourself a little bit because it sounds like you are way too worked up to make these decisions at this moment. Be strong and please try to think before reacting. We are here for you to listen, support and offer advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 [ dont undestand why you would be concerned with that part? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 Do you really want to pack up and move over the pain caused by some one else? Do you honestly think running from the pain will be leaving it at the place you'd be leaving? It would follow you. Just please bear that in mind. I have even said that to someone myself, when ya get to where yer going you will ope the suitcase and guess what , youll find its you........I already admit that, thank for saying that, cause yer so right thats an escape, Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 I am guessing by your typing that you are pretty drunk Your wife putting herself on a dating site so soon and with your daughters permission seems a tad strange Are there things you are not telling us? Yes, there is, somehow this thread got that is was becasue her father had died, that part is true, the rest of the story is were were together for years, her job asked her to fly to florida for a week, she aked me what I thought, I have been ther many times, and said sure why not who knows we can transfer and buy a house there, lets see what happens,, well she goes, meets some gal from her work that had been only work emails before, all was cool for 4 out the the five days there, I had asked her to call my sister that lived in the same time, maybe say hello, go say hi, ealier that morning we had founf the home of our dreams, well, wwwwwhen she called that night she had been drinking, I asked her if she had contacted my sis, she said yes and they lived too far, turns out they were 4 miles away, I asked her why she was drinking, she denied she was, but it was too obvious after living together for close to 7 years, so I presses, yes I pressed hard too, asked her what the hell was going on when I knew she hadnt contacted my sis,,,,,,she said, ok Im standing up for myself, I go huh? What? what are you talking about, I asked where she had been she said in the bar downstairs, I said, yes I regret it but I said ok who are ya screwin,,,,,,,,that was it,,,,,,,,,,, so I was either right or something else Im not aware of, we talked email this week, said we wil take things slow, I suggested that before she wrote back, sid we will se what happens,AS pAUL hARVEY WOULD PUT IT, THAT IS THE REST OF THE STORY, i DIDNT WANT TO TELL IT ALL BECIUASE i REALLY DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HER LOOK BAD TO ANYONE, NOT WILL i TALK TO MY FAMILY BAD ABOUT HER, WE HAVE YET TO SEE EACH OTHER THIS WEK SINCE SHE SAID WE WILL TALK, SO COME ONE, BRING IT ON, TELL ME HOW BAD i SCREWED IT UP, I know I did, no one on earth can beat me up as bad, so let me have it Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 Right now, gettin on my scoot and leavin is a good thought Link to post Share on other sites
Author HarryR Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 Right now, gettin on my scoot and leavin is a good thought We bought a home together, when I met her years ago, her kids had been taken away, she flew on a marriage of 15 years, forget what she tells me, bit saw it in her, they were mormons, they put a number on here, I did my best to help, helped her get through college, her family dis owned me because she was there to wait on them anymore when i had a great relationship with her family before her and I met, wow, not even sure what Im saying here, but want to say honeslty, her mom wants her to take care of her since daddy doed, the same one that abused her, I guess I can understand that, why didnt she feel that whn he was doing all that to my honey,. she was in a 15 year marriage, same as me, but she lost it, left town got on drugs, I see her my heart went thump,,,,,,,,,,,,I had been alone 12 years after my divorce so this was no rebound for me, ok, at least I dont think it was,, she came back moved in again with mommy and daddy, and next thing ya know after 12 yearrs this girls walked up my steps, hmmmmmmm, the heart said no way, but happened, her family would not help her , I helped her go to colledge , she did that, got a good job, we made headway, she had lost all of her children 5 of them, I worked on a maintenacne mans salary paying 600 per month ,,somehow God got us through that, but we managed, her family vut her off as soon as me and her got together even though I was friends with them before that, I would sit on the patio and play guitars with her dad, well they cut her off, I helped her go to court get all the children back, , yes i only had a two bedroom apartment then on a maintenabce mans salarly, plus my child support, well we end up living together, yeah it was rough supporting them but Im creative, so I made things happen with the money i could make on the side, well the place I worked for sold, so i left there, we bought a house out of town about 40 miles away, ya would have thought that was the worse thing that could have had for her family, I just wanted her and the children to have thier won home and some security after going through all they had been through, ok, we build a garage, we build, we build, we are going great, then 4 years later Im sitting here wondering what the hell happened.......??????Talk about crushed? Yeah sorry for being so drink the other night when I posted, ok, and am gonna do it again and am working onit now, i wont post though, but what gives, anyone have a clue???????? Let me have, it, i can take it,,,,,,,, Id rather you be honest than tell me what i wwant to hear, we are supposed to have a talk one day this week alone, to see what happens, what is that? Link to post Share on other sites
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