Arachnia Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. I am divorced with two kids, 7 and 9. He is the best man I have ever known, and I feel he genuinely loves me. We have a great friendship and intimate closeness. Everything is so great I have to pinch myself at times. I have been spending copious amounts of time at his house since we met, dragging the kids here and there, living out of my car. He does not spend much time at my house for various silly reasons. I told him over the holidays that I simply cannot do this anymore, that I must be at home to get my domestics done. He asked that I move into his house (which up until now I have been against because he bought it with his ex) and give it a three month trial while he lists his house so we can find a mutual investment together. This all sounds great and lucrative except this: He is so set in his ways, I'm not sure he will be comfortable with ANY of my stuff in his house. I feel he will freak out if I try to move the couch, or put my towels in the bathroom. I love to decorate, I am a very domestic woman and I get a lot of satisfaction from being at home and taking care of a family. What should I do if I move in and find that he isn't ready for the small changes cohabitation with me and two children requires? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 You two need to really talk this out before you move in with him. Have you told him your fears? Tell him everything that you're feeling and why. Hopefully he's willing to compromise, as you compromise with him as well. Be sure this is the right to do because you need to think of your kids and how it's going to affect them. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 OMG don't even think of moving! Tell me, if he has the house with his ex, and he's selling it - why doesn't he just move in with you? Why doesn't he actually make more effort to accommodate you? On the face of it (although you do explain that he IS 'Mr. Wonderful'...) there may be a little bit of a control issue here. He has to know - and has to be able to compromise, here) that with you, comes your stuff. But if I were you, I would retain my independence and stick to your guns - and your home. Horror - if this doesn't work out, you've invested so much and given up so much.... Wait a bit. Go further down the line and wait until his house is sold, and he has all his finances available, tied up, done and dusted, to invest. Until then, do nothing, move nowhere, and get him to come to you. Does he have kids he has to move around and ferry all over the place in his car, or tell me... are you doing most of the running? Just asking... Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 What ever happened with this, OP? Did you move in with him? Link to post Share on other sites
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