Author onmyownagain Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 My daughter is with me now, came over last night. Was really pleased to see me and gave me loads of hugs all evening. Was so hard not to ask her any questions though she did tell me mummy wasn't sure if we would get back together. Also told me she was going out with her friend tonight for a drink, don't know if she told her that for my benefit. I said to my daughter I am sorry I have treated her so badly and she seems okay with me so at least our relationship looks safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 That is really good babe - It is also good that you are not putting your daughter on the spot and involving her in your grief - my ex did that to my son and it blew up in his face as now my son wont see him! Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 Thanls Lishy, My wife still hasn't contacted me yet but I will leave her alone for now as suggested. Although for practical reasons, will have to contact her at some stage because when I left I grabbed my suits and clothes but not a lot else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 Just got back from spending a couple of hours out on my boat with my dad and daughter and really enjoyed it. Actually put my problems to one side for the most of the time I was out and don't feel too bad at the moment. Still wanted to text her to say I had a good time as I would normally put resisted. If only I could spend all my time out on the boat :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 Just had a few texts from the wife. She is adament that it is all over and doesn't want anything else to do with me. Said I have had all the chances I am going to get and to leave it at that. Just don't want to be here any more :-( Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Oh dont speak like that for goodness sake! Read what I wrote about my ex! Keep your cool! Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 Those silly thoughts didn't last too long. Went to my friends and had a few whiskeys and a good chat. Went to bed drunk and woke at 4 am. Then drifted in and out of sleep for the rest of the night but had constant dreams about her and dividing up our belongings. In a way I feel better today as I am not in limbo anymore. Going to spend some more time with my parents but mainly to get some money together for furniture etc. My daughter wants to spend every other week with me in my new place so that will make things a bit easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Just had a few texts from the wife. She is adament that it is all over and doesn't want anything else to do with me. Said I have had all the chances I am going to get and to leave it at that. Just don't want to be here any more :-( Good lord, tell her to leave you the F alone!!! IF she doesnt want to come back fine, then tell her to not contact you unless it's about the child, house or lawyer related items. She makes it like she wants to argue with you, wants to draw you into a fight or something. Or more importantly wants you to fight for her???? The more your doing a plan B the more restless she's becoming about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 Actually CB. The reason there was more than the one text was because I tried to talk her round. But going into strict NC today and not just as a plan but because I am feeling seriously angry now for some reason. At this point I just don't want to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Actually CB. The reason there was more than the one text was because I tried to talk her round. But going into strict NC today and not just as a plan but because I am feeling seriously angry now for some reason. At this point I just don't want to know. Good for you, move on with your life. I'm gonna advocate for everyman who has been betrayed by your woman to move on. Especially if she aint coming back. The thing works wonders! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Hey hon I am glad you are not thinking along those lines It is normal to feel how you are first upset then more upset and then angry and then you will feel like crying, then you will feel distraught and not in control and then one day you will be fine! The trick is not to act on any single emotion you feel, think bout your daughter hon, keep her to the front of your thinking! Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 Thanks Lishy, Feel okay at the moment but know this isn't going to last. Hopefully she will be okay with my daughter coming to me every other week. She is 11 years old and knows her mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 I am sure she will want your daughter to see you hon - You must remember to be nice to her though as she will stop it if you question her daughter or bring her in the middle of it. You need your daughter so dont mess this up ok? I know you are a fusion of emotions right now but it will all get easier, trust me on this! Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 I know, I am sure we are going to be fine:) She really is a great girl and seems to be really close to me now, so something good might come from this mess. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 Had a couple of obusive texts from the wife tonight regarding my daughter, said my daughter said I dont want her weekends? Very strange. Still the abuse seems to make if easier to handle my problems for some reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Oh babe it must be horrible for you ! dont respond unless you can do so in a calm manner Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 When we split a couple of years ago it was like this. Started off abusive at first then just general texting all the time. Think I can see a pattern emerging here. Link to post Share on other sites
smileysmile Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 (edited) OMG! I don't believe I am hearing this. Bloody mobile phones are a nuiscance. They have there pluses but in more ways than one they are dangerous. If you really want her back you have to make changes in yourself. For you whether you 2 get back together or not. If you have a temper don't you think it would a good thing NOW to sort it out if this is the ONLY reason she wants out of this R? If you really want her and love her then buddy you better start listening. My STBXW knows as from last week by phone and chat in person today that I have a counsellor lined up. She asked me when? I said 4 weeks. They aren't going to tell you they will come back if you see a counsellor now after you have split. After they gave you so many chances inside the R to sort yourself out. SO you need to fight for her until you know there is no way back. Otherwise why are you on this site? I haven't heard you have seeked counselling since you posted. All you have gone on about that you texted her she hasn't replied, I am in pain or/and I am going NC etc etc Whats not working here is YOU texting her. YOU feeling sorry for yourself. and YOU not working on yourself and your temper which I gather scared the crap out of her and yr D so many times she has finally had the courage to leave you. I am laying it on the line here. I am a reflection or maybe near to a carbon copy of you. Hence why I have finally made moves to seek professional help. A little to late perhaps and a lot of hard graft and endurance heading my way. But at least I can clear my head and be a better person. Edited January 13, 2008 by smileysmile Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 But Smily, after her texting me last night I was going to just walk away. I haven't texted her today, she texted me. I am so pissed off with the whole thing she can just stick it up her arse. I aint that bad and think she has played her part in making me into the man I am. Doesn't mean I am not going to need support on here but at this moment I don't want her. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 You chose the man you wanted to be! Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 Last night when on here I had quite a few beers and then got the texts. Not angry this morning. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Ok hon I think you need to stop the drinking, it will make you more depressed, more irate and more upset! It will not help at all! Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 For the first time though I slept really well last night. I texted her this morning to ask if my daughter was still upset and she said she was fine so doesn't seem angry now. My daughter has returned the text I sent her this morning as well and seems okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Can I ask why your daughter was angry? Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 It was my wife who was angry, saying my daughter was upset because I said I didn't want to see her every weekend, which I didn't say infact I told my daugher I wanted her to spend every other week with me, which she said she wanted to do. Daugher was really happy with me all weekend although she started getting sad before it was time for her to head home. Link to post Share on other sites
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