Author onmyownagain Posted January 16, 2008 Author Share Posted January 16, 2008 You are right Lishy and I am not going to do it, but can't help the thoughts coming to me sometimes. It hasn't been very long since the breakup for me so I am up and down like a yoyo. I know within a couple of months I am going to be feeling better, I am just glad I have this site for support. I am just hoping she will leave the divorce for a year or two, not because of getting back with her but I just couldn't handle it at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 Been really bad these last few days. I am looking into my finances and getting a flat etc. Had to text the ex to explain I might have to give her less money as I just don't have any spare cash. She started telling me I have made her life hell and wishes I would just go away. Tried to ring her to sort it but she wouldn't answer the calls. Went round to the house and tried to speak to her. She said I don't want you anywhere near me and hates me! The best thing we can do is sell the house to release the equity and can then get on with it with some bufffer money but she refuses to do this. I have never seen her so angry. So confused by all this as I am trying to be practical and get myself sorted in the best way I can. What does all this mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 No turning back now, at least not for a while. Just put down deposit on my new flat. Can't move in until the end of next month but at least I will have somewhere to call home again. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 Still waiting to move into flat. Got beds and sofa etc. on order and starting to get bits and pieces ready. My daughter is looking forward to it as she will be spending every other week with me from now on. As for the wife. I don't really have much to do with her now, she texts something most days and if relevent to my daughter I answer, but if she starts being abusive I just don't bother to reply. Feeling much better now and feel this is all for the best. Looking forward to a bright future with someone else. P.S. My anger issues have gone now so guess it was just beging with the wrong woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Well I am pleased that you have moved on slightly. You are at the bottom of a hill honey and you need to get to the top, it will be bumpy on the way and at times you will feel even worse than you did at the beginning, you will feel angry, upset, sorry and many other emotions then one day you will feel indifferent, and that is the day you are through it! Until that day babe, think positive and look to the bright futiure you have! Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted February 1, 2008 Author Share Posted February 1, 2008 Thanks Lishy, I know I will have a lot of pain yet. Been doing a lot of reading up on grief and know if I ignore it I will not be doing myself any favours. Just going to be the best dad I can with my daughter and I am glad of time we are going to have with her coming to me every other week for the whole week. Her mother doesn't like the idea but my daughter is really keen. Funny the way the contact thing is going. I am determined not to contact her and don't unless it is about my daughter. She on the other hand contacts most days but seems to be okay sometimes and extremely angry other times. I guess now I am getting a place etc. that she feels I am looking to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted February 6, 2008 Author Share Posted February 6, 2008 (edited) Really feeling low today. I haven't heard from her since last thursday, I know this sounds strange, but when she was texting when she was mad it was better than no contact at all. I wonder what is going on in her head. I know the split is for the best and NC is the way to go and I don't contact her at all but really do miss her a lot at the moment. Went to dinner with a friend last night and when there a family came in with lots of kids, I think it must have been a birthday party with lots of the childs friend, for some reason this really upset me. Edited February 6, 2008 by onmyownagain Link to post Share on other sites
smileysmile Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Hey.. I know what you mean. I felt low yesterday. It is something we have to endure. NC is the best way if you have had text wars and made her angry etc so it is no good making her mad. Let her be, this is what I have finally done. Let her think what you are up. I am hoping my STBXW anger melts. I want to give her plenty of space to think things over. She has to do that. I want to show her I don't care what she is doing with OM. That is very hard I can tell you. I can tell you..I am wondering all the time what is going through her mind to Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted February 6, 2008 Author Share Posted February 6, 2008 Hi smiley, It is very hard, don't know if she is seeing anyone yet and hopefully wont find out if she is for a very long time, I know this will happen one day as it will for me but just don't need to know for now. I am a bit different than you in that I don't think it would be a good idea for us to get back with each other, been there done that. Moving into my flat soon which will allow me to start having a social life again, I am moving to another town so wont need to run into her which should help. Not sure if she is still angry with me, last few texts haven't been angry just matter of fact but no emotion at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Hi smiley, It is very hard, don't know if she is seeing anyone yet and hopefully wont find out if she is for a very long time, I know this will happen one day as it will for me but just don't need to know for now. I am a bit different than you in that I don't think it would be a good idea for us to get back with each other, been there done that. Moving into my flat soon which will allow me to start having a social life again, I am moving to another town so wont need to run into her which should help. Not sure if she is still angry with me, last few texts haven't been angry just matter of fact but no emotion at all. Whether she's angry or not, you got to take care of yourself. Get that divorce or seperation finalized. Start over you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted February 9, 2008 Author Share Posted February 9, 2008 Well, I'm off down the pub tonight. First time I have had a chance since the split. Just a local pub rather than one of the packed in town ones full of people trying to get laid. Going to have a few pints and enjoy myself hopefully :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Well, I'm off down the pub tonight. First time I have had a chance since the split. Just a local pub rather than one of the packed in town ones full of people trying to get laid. Going to have a few pints and enjoy myself hopefully :-) Hey as well you should why are you waiting for her , just go to a very dark plan B. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted February 10, 2008 Author Share Posted February 10, 2008 Ow, my head hurts. Local pub was okay, really packed but got there early so had a somewhere to sit. They had a live band playing some really good music. Surprisingly, I got quite a bit of attention from the opposite sex, thought I would be giving out bad vibes but seems this is not the case. Girl on next table told my I am very attractive and look just like Richard Gere, then spent the rest of the evening trying to get into my pants. She finally left, asked me if I wanted to go with her and when I said no, asked if I would be in the pub next Saturday. Been a real ego boost for me, feel so much better this morning, apart from my head :-) Link to post Share on other sites
T L Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Ow, my head hurts. Local pub was okay, really packed but got there early so had a somewhere to sit. They had a live band playing some really good music. Surprisingly, I got quite a bit of attention from the opposite sex, thought I would be giving out bad vibes but seems this is not the case. Girl on next table told my I am very attractive and look just like Richard Gere, then spent the rest of the evening trying to get into my pants. She finally left, asked me if I wanted to go with her and when I said no, asked if I would be in the pub next Saturday. Been a real ego boost for me, feel so much better this morning, apart from my head :-) Ill come with you next Saturday OMOA, if shes got a friend! Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted February 10, 2008 Author Share Posted February 10, 2008 Ill come with you next Saturday OMOA, if shes got a friend! She seems very friendly to me :-) Her friend wasn't really much to look at. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Ow, my head hurts. Local pub was okay, really packed but got there early so had a somewhere to sit. They had a live band playing some really good music. Surprisingly, I got quite a bit of attention from the opposite sex, thought I would be giving out bad vibes but seems this is not the case. Girl on next table told my I am very attractive and look just like Richard Gere, then spent the rest of the evening trying to get into my pants. She finally left, asked me if I wanted to go with her and when I said no, asked if I would be in the pub next Saturday. Been a real ego boost for me, feel so much better this morning, apart from my head :-) Sounds like you had a great time!!! Yay! Why didnt you leave with her? Dont you need some good coochie right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 Sounds like you had a great time!!! Yay! Why didnt you leave with her? Dont you need some good coochie right now. Hi CB, Don't think one night stands will do me much good at the moment. Still need a bit more time. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Hi CB, Don't think one night stands will do me much good at the moment. Still need a bit more time. Man I would have tore that Coochie up!!!! When I would have finished she wouldnt have walked right for a week! lol. Besides your so called wife aint giving you any and she isnt there so what's the problem? Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 Man I would have tore that Coochie up!!!! When I would have finished she wouldnt have walked right for a week! lol. Besides your so called wife aint giving you any and she isnt there so what's the problem? Don't really like sex with stangers, did enough of that when I was younger but can't see me doing that now. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Hey look your gonna have to get back up on that bike and get riding again right. You might as well go out and get your pipes burshed cleaned, you know. I wouldnt be at home pining for my ex. Where are you emotionally at right now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 Hey look your gonna have to get back up on that bike and get riding again right. You might as well go out and get your pipes burshed cleaned, you know. I wouldnt be at home pining for my ex. Where are you emotionally at right now? Hi Mate, I do miss her but I am not pining, I left her for good reasons and want to have some time alone now. Always been in a relationship and want to spend a bit of time alone for now. The reason I haven't been out much at weekends is because I get my daughter then and she has been very clingy. Saturday was the first time I have been able to leave her for a few hours without her getting upset. Get my new flat at the end of the month (crashing with parents at the moment) so will then rebuild my social life and get on with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Hi Mate, I do miss her but I am not pining, I left her for good reasons and want to have some time alone now. Always been in a relationship and want to spend a bit of time alone for now. The reason I haven't been out much at weekends is because I get my daughter then and she has been very clingy. Saturday was the first time I have been able to leave her for a few hours without her getting upset. Get my new flat at the end of the month (crashing with parents at the moment) so will then rebuild my social life and get on with it. Oh, ok. But I read your first post and I'm confused, I mean from then til now, What do you want? I mean what does this seperation mean, do you want new coochie or do you want your woman back? That's cool you spend time with your C. they need fathers. So your going to live and rebuild on your own hmmm? That's cool. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 Oh, ok. But I read your first post and I'm confused, I mean from then til now, What do you want? I mean what does this seperation mean, do you want new coochie or do you want your woman back? That's cool you spend time with your C. they need fathers. So your going to live and rebuild on your own hmmm? That's cool. Things have changed a lot for me in the last month, Just reread the thread from the beginning, I don't want to go home now and I am hoping to have the strength not to return if she asks in the near future. She really is not good for me and in the long run I will be better off, but I have my weak days and if she contacted then who knows what I would do :-( Link to post Share on other sites
Author onmyownagain Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 It is amazing how much better I am feeling as time goes by. Don't think about her constantly now and really am looking forward to a future with her out of my life as much as possible. Starting to notice other women now and they seem to be noticing me too :-) Couple more months and think I might start dating again. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Well done you! I am so pleased to see you out of that black hole Well done that man! Hey I was on Brighton at the weekend, is that near you? Link to post Share on other sites
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